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Anon is no angle (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 1 year ago by Gullible@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
34 comments fedilink hide all child comments

>be me
>lifting in the garage
>mom walks in with a plate of tendies with chinese sauce
>always told mom to not to come to the garage while I lifted
>always told mom to never look me in my eyes while I lifted (its where my demons hide)
>she made eye contact
>the plate fell from her hands
>the young man she had been raising had turned into a FUCKED UP beast
>she covers her mouth with both her hands as she lets out a yelp
>turns around and runs away
>put the rusty barbell down
>calmly walk up to the mirror and smash it as I see the beast too
Gosh dang it /fit/, we were gonna go shopping this weekend. What do I do now?

all 36 comments
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[-] InfiniteStruggle@sh.itjust.works 63 points 1 year ago

I can't say if this is satire.

[-] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 44 points 1 year ago

WTF is "Chinese sauce"?

[-] TxzK@lemmy.zip 73 points 1 year ago

A sauce of Chinese origin one would assume

[-] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 53 points 1 year ago

As one might get with a succulent Chinese meal? At McDonald's???

[-] Klear@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

Localised entirely in your kitchen?!?

[-] EmoDuck@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago

And my axe!

[-] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 year ago

Ah yes. I see you know your Judo well.

[-] zip 4 points 1 year ago

UNHAND MY PENIS!

[-] Blue_Morpho@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

Szechuan sauce. Subtle Rick and Morty reference implying he's a neck beard fanatic.

[-] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Do they even make Szechuan sauce anymore though? Are people on 4Chan just reposting their own stories now or did McDonald's just give him old rancid sauces?

[-] Blue_Morpho@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

I always assume it's an old meme being reposted on Lemmy.

[-] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

The date says 3/1/24

[-] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago

It's one of the McD standard sauces you can get with chicken nuggets : BBQ, curry or Chinese.

[-] Sanctus@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago

Theres only one option now, Anon. Pick that bar back up.

[-] tetris11@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago

And put it down. And then pick it up again.

[-] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago

I am so lost.

[-] OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works 28 points 1 year ago

Anon is telling a satirical story about how primal and intimidating they are now that they lift weights.

[-] Blue_Morpho@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

It sounds like a scene from Teen Wolf.

[-] DAMunzy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 year ago

That means you're mostly normal. Shh, bby. It's ok

[-] elbucho@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago

He might not be an angle, but he sure is acute!

[-] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago

How can you say he is no angle when he's clearly being obtuse.

[-] pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de 17 points 1 year ago

John, you are the demons

[-] Patches@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

John Demonsoul, That's what we used to call him.

[-] Kit 6 points 1 year ago

Wow that's a throwback

[-] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

How bout you not lift in the nude, anon?

[-] Wetstew@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

i can fix him

[-] Shou@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Please do... how?

[-] YungOnions@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 year ago

On today's episode of 'Bullshit that Never happened'

[-] PatMustard@feddit.uk 47 points 1 year ago

Do you go to the fantasy section in the library and shout "fake!" at all the books? It's a greentext, nobody is assuming this story is real, detective!

[-] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 12 points 1 year ago

If youre really lucky you find something based on truth but most of it is just for fun.

[-] ThrowawayPermanente@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 year ago

Louder for the people in the back please. It's important that we raise awareness about 4chan posters' loose relationship with the truth.

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

Relatable

this post was submitted on 04 Mar 2024
270 points (100.0% liked)

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