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submitted 4 days ago by not_IO to c/programmer_humor@programming.dev

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[-] merc@sh.itjust.works 23 points 3 days ago

On that subject, does anybody hate the term "Sprint" as much as I do?

"Sprints" are extremely quick events that last tens of seconds and are done at most once a day, but more often (in competition) a few times a month, or a few times in a day every few months.

You don't sprint for a full week every week. That's a marathon, maybe an ultra-marathon.

[-] SoulKaribou@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 days ago

The theory being that the team rushes to complete the prioritised items. Also in theory if you close all items before end of the sprint, you are free to not work, or work on pet project at your own pace.

Of course middle management hates the idea of others being idle so they asked to squeeze the last part. Efficiency, baby !

[-] merc@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago

Sure, it might seem like a sprint compared to a Waterfall project where it's a marathon, where there might be months between points where you check in with the plan and try to figure out if the software is ready to ship yet.

I still just object to the word "sprint". Any job where you're sprinting over and over, week after week, where that's the main thing you're doing, you're doing something wrong.

[-] daeraxa@programming.dev 6 points 2 days ago

We had a bunch of simultaneous 'sprints' that went on for over a year...

[-] merc@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 days ago

What makes it so annoying to me is that a sprint implies putting in maximum effort for a short time. The pace of a sprint is unsustainable over more than a few seconds.

If you say you did "sprints" for over a year... no you didn't. Either you sprinted for a little bit and then had to walk for a while because you'd used up all your energy. Or, you jogged at a sustainable pace for a year and just called it a sprint.

[-] daeraxa@programming.dev 2 points 2 days ago

Oh absolutely. It wasn't even close to being sparkling chaos, let alone Agile. What we had as 'sprints' would be more accurate as Epics. The whole thing was insane but they stuck with the terminology...

[-] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

[-] lugal@sopuli.xyz 72 points 4 days ago

You forgot "We use JIRA so we are agile now. I assigned all tickets so get to work and be done at the end of the ~~week~~ sprint"

[-] Madrigal@lemmy.world 35 points 3 days ago

The one I like is “we have no fucking idea what we’re trying to build other than a vague problem statement, so start testing already. This is Agile.”

[-] red_tomato@lemmy.world 28 points 3 days ago

”Our plan is to continuously make up new shit along the way and hope we eventually get something we can deliver”

[-] bignose@programming.dev 23 points 3 days ago

Screenshotting a text post on the Fediverse, to post an opaque image on the Fediverse.

The post was right there to be shared.

[-] mogoh@lemmy.ml 7 points 3 days ago

Ok, but could one cross post a mastodon toot to lemmy?

[-] vodka@feddit.org 7 points 3 days ago

If you tag a lemmy community in a mastodon toot it posts to the community.

Dunno if there's a way to repost other people's toots to lemmy though, never tried

[-] merc@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 days ago

Tag it how?

[-] vodka@feddit.org 6 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Same way you'd tag a user on lemmy, just tagging the community instead.

@community@instance.url

I've never tried it myself, but I've seen it been done a couple times

[-] merc@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 days ago

Hmm, does the other direction work? @merc@techhub.social wants to know. (That's me).

[-] vodka@feddit.org 3 points 3 days ago

Good question, did it?

[-] merc@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 days ago

Yeah, it worked.

[-] merc@techhub.social 2 points 2 days ago

@vodka @merc@sh.itjust.works

It works, and I think I can reply to the thread via Mastodon. But, I don't get the full thread, just one post back in the thread.

[-] vodka@feddit.org 2 points 2 days ago

I guess mastodon only fetches up one level in a thread then, still neat

[-] megopie@beehaw.org 8 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

“Well, to get people to consider if our method is potentially applicable to their situation and needs, we need to give it descriptive names that sound dynamic and cool to get their attention. If it’s not right for their needs they’ll disregard it of course.”

The business idiots: “Hmmm, yes, fancy words, trendy, apply it immediately to everything so I can say I “over saw implementation” on my resume next time I hop jobs”

[-] applebusch 12 points 3 days ago

i fucking hate daily standups. such a pointless waste of time.

[-] merc@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 days ago

Especially when they're called "standups" but everybody sits down because they typically last an hour or so.

[-] bignose@programming.dev 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Yet another way that the good ideas from Agile got crushed to meaninglessness by Business Idiocy.

The whole point of the “stand up meeting” is, by forcing everyone to stand together, to encourage everyone to keep it brief and to the point, so it benefits everyone without sucking their time.

[-] bignose@programming.dev 3 points 2 days ago

Of course, that works only when everyone's in the same room. I don't have a good replacement for teams that connect remotely.

[-] deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

We have a NeatBoard that's configured for Zoom. So our stand ups are in front of this TV thing and it works well for us.

Then again, our stand ups are short and to the point. We're closer to kanban than scrum.

[-] deathmetal27@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

For you perhaps but for the scrum master it helps identify whether the sprint is on track and whether there are any new discoveries/realities identified during the previous days work that might impact the Sprint's goals.

This is fundamental to the emperical nature of scrum: there is no improvement without inspection.

[-] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 days ago

I did have actual stand ups once, after coming back from China and all I could think of was "shit I hope they don't make us sing the corp's anthem at the end!" like they do over there...

[-] Mikrochip@feddit.org 4 points 3 days ago

Wait, do they seriously have corporate anthems in China? I thought that only happened in the sprawl trilogy o.O

[-] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 1 points 7 hours ago

I don't know exactly what they sing, but yeah, singing together before a shift starts is fairly common over there. Used to see the delivery men do it before taking off for the day. Same with the local estate agent branch down the street where I lived.

[-] prole 3 points 3 days ago

Kind of like what they do at Walmart?

[-] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 1 points 7 hours ago

I did not know that. But it reeks so much of corpo team building I would not be surprised in the least. Do they do that out on the street, though? My first thought when I saw this was "oh, that must be the hazing for the new recruits! How amusing!"
It was not. It was a daily thing.

[-] jade52@lemmy.ca 2 points 3 days ago

Please explain this corporate anthem further....

[-] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 1 points 7 hours ago

I dunno exactly what they sang, but yeah, they would absolutely sing something at the beginning of the day, lined up on the pavement outside their office, with the manager directing like some sort of corpo choral. I guess it's one of those team building things...

[-] jade52@lemmy.ca 1 points 4 hours ago

Thanks, I hate it.

[-] stickyprimer@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

ah-jee-lay… must be Italian!

[-] thedeadwalking4242@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago

From experience most hate from project management systems come from people just don't understand it and implement it poorly. Usually the miss the point. Unfortunately those are the people who need the structure the most.

[-] cbazero@programming.dev 1 points 2 days ago

The 'hate' is the obvious observation that most forms of project management do and can not work while they are done over and over again with the non-argument 'If it does not work, you are not doing it right'.

[-] marcos@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

It's agile if the plan is constantly reviewed with every new information in mind and you can change what you are working in to better implement it.

If you do do Scrum, that's almost never the case.

[-] StenSaksTapir@feddit.dk 6 points 3 days ago

I had the misfortune of working under SAFE – Scalee agile or something. It was waterfall wearing a festive and extremely expensive Agile mask.

I think more than 60 devs all working in the same codebase, a trading platform, and doing planning sprints individually, playing planning poker to estimate feature of features of features up to three months in the future. Most ridiculous thing I ever participated in and that says a lot.

[-] AliasVortex@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

I'm not super fond of SAFE either

waterfall wearing a festive and extremely expensive Agile mask.

Is exactly the experience I had in my last two shops.

[-] belunos@lemmus.org 4 points 3 days ago

[-] Takapapatapaka@tarte.nuage-libre.fr 4 points 4 days ago

Is there such a thing as a region called Agile in france? Or am i missing out the point of the joke?

[-] Peereboominc@piefed.social 18 points 3 days ago

I guess it is a reference to champagne. If wine does not come from the region "Champagne" it is not allowed to be called Champagne but just white wine. Even if it tastes just the same.

[-] alastel@lemmy.ml 15 points 3 days ago

just white wine

Come on you're going to hurt the wine snobs with this statement. Champagne is a sparkling wine, it doesn't taste like any white wine. It's more like a bitter Sprite with alcohol in it.

[-] Takapapatapaka@tarte.nuage-libre.fr 4 points 3 days ago

Oooh ok thx a lot!

[-] Deebster@infosec.pub 10 points 3 days ago

It's a meme format (a snowclone), of the form "It's only X if it comes from the X region of France, otherwise it's just sparking Y". The original was talking about Champagne (and sparkling wine), which is why it's France.

There's lots of versions out there, of varying quality.