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[-] Hegar@fedia.io 44 points 5 days ago

I was drunk at a party at a rural art gallery in my 20s and a middle aged woman i didn't know grabbed my hand, looked at it and said with perfect confidence that i needed to be careful driving home because i'd been in a few prangs (australian for car accidents) and had another coming up.

When i replied that i've never driven a car or been in an accident all she could say was "oh".

Now I must remember prangs. It sort of sounds right.

[-] lasta@piefed.world 30 points 5 days ago

I was once invited to join a coffee reading event, to which I responded by asking if I should bring a book or whether they had a specific one in mind. Wish I could say it was was wit, but nope, just genuine confusion lol.

[-] davidgro@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago

Huh. Before tapping the link I was beginning to imagine jokes I might tell about it being an event where coffee is the thing being read.
Definitely wasn't expecting it to be exactly that.

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

Just read the nutrition info from the back of the bag of coffee

[-] JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 5 days ago

We all wish we could come up with such clever responses right in the moment.

[-] Venator@lemmy.nz 6 points 5 days ago

Yeah I'd probably say something more like "fuck off cunt" ๐Ÿ˜…

[-] Manjushri@piefed.social 13 points 5 days ago

Psychic: Why don't you come in for a reading?

Me: Shouldn't you already know the answer to that?

[-] luciferofastora@feddit.org 1 points 5 days ago

I was thinking that, but more concise:

Psychic: Why don't you come in for a reading?

Me: You don't know?

[-] hansolo@lemmy.today 6 points 5 days ago

Counter point: psychic knew she would say something hilarious, and intentionally asked for the laugh

[-] Akasazh@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago

I've never encountered a psychic on the street.

Not that I need any, I just now feel like I'm missing out on something.

[-] m0darn@lemmy.ca 5 points 5 days ago
[-] Akasazh@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago
[-] luciferofastora@feddit.org 2 points 5 days ago

There's a big shopping street in the next big city, on which I've definitely seen people try to pitch psychic services.

I've also seen an older guy claiming to be a master offering chess matches for five bucks. I'm not keen on touching piece that who knows how many other people have touched (this was before I started carrying disinfectant in my bag during Covid), and I didn't have the time either, but sometimes I wish I'd played a match just to see how hard he could school me.

And I've seen too many people trying to evangelise. Actually, that should probably count as psychic crap too.

[-] PaupersSerenade@sh.itjust.works 5 points 5 days ago

Jared deflects psychic intuition

[-] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 2 points 5 days ago

"Perfect, the dumber, the better!"

[-] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

(asked my friend to type this tweet out for me, thanks Kayleigh!)

[-] jimmy90@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

she would know if you're coming in already

this post was submitted on 20 May 2026
578 points (100.0% liked)

Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

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