-The shark will just eat some people and then get full just as nature intended. Those people being eaten are just the natural way of dealing with sharks.

-I'm a strong swimmer so it won't eat me.

-I hear the shark swam all the way from a secret lab in China making super sharks. Somehow thinking it's been engineered to be more dangerous makes me also confident that it's harmless and no precautions need to be taken.

-If you inject hot sauce then your blood will be too spicy for the shark to eat.

-I'm still going to have my annual "throw chum in the water" swim party to show just how overblown this whole thing is.

“You’re only saying that because George Soros paid you to!”

Don't look up is basically a documentary at this point

We could make a whole community comparing each and every news story or current event to that movie. Its just so true.

Keep swimming, and assess.

Also thought of the South Park manbearpig - "Okay, fine, there are sharks in the water. What can we do about it now, Susan?"

The thing is, the Mayor in Jaws doesn't realize he's in Jaws.

It's a small town that runs on summer tourism money. Shutting down the beach on the holiday weekend would cause many businesses to fail.

Yeah - some girl got killed by a shark. But that's a tragic freak accident, not a pattern. One person dying to a shark attack is no reason to essentially shut down a city's entire economy. It's not like we shut down all the roads if a deer jumps in front of a car and causes a wreck.

If people stop swimming with sharks, they'll lose the habits and reactions that keep them safe when a shark attacks.

Therefore, they must keep swimming with sharks to avoid shark-attack debt and develop hybrid immunity to attack by losing a limb so they have a stronger reaction to the next attack.

I realize this is a joke, but my wife has put a lot of people in body bags that died denying COVID to the bitter end. It's unbelievable how they avoid saying COVID. "My dad has ground glass opacities and pneumonia, please pray for him!"

These people are wack.

The opening sequence of influencers trying to pose for a selfie and being ate would be worth the cost of piracy alone. Use real influencers. And real sharks. Save the special effects budget for post production.

Did you ever see Contagion? It was pretty spot on.

Did they die from the shark attack, or just whilst a shark attacked?

Those guys went in a private submarine and didn't get eaten by sharks, so I'm going to go for a swim because I might be like them!

Libs say he's dangerous, but he hasnt eaten any of my kids!