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The shark is fake news.
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 12 Oct 2023
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-The shark has every right to be there.
-I’m not going to let fear dominate my vacation.
-It’s just water bro!
-Statistically you’re more likely to get mugged by a Kansas City snail on the forth of July.
-My cousin got eaten, and he said it wasn’t even that bad.
-Why are you always bringing up sharks and never dolphins?
-I’ve looked into it, and basically a shark is a tuna with some additional details.
-The shark will just eat some people and then get full just as nature intended. Those people being eaten are just the natural way of dealing with sharks.
-I'm a strong swimmer so it won't eat me.
-I hear the shark swam all the way from a secret lab in China making super sharks. Somehow thinking it's been engineered to be more dangerous makes me also confident that it's harmless and no precautions need to be taken.
-If you inject hot sauce then your blood will be too spicy for the shark to eat.
-I'm still going to have my annual "throw chum in the water" swim party to show just how overblown this whole thing is.
"If you get eaten by a shark, just pull yourself up by your bootstraps. What do you mean it ate your legs?"
If you drink bleach, the shark won’t eat you.
If you inject bleach, you are garunteed not to die from sharkbites
"Deepest, bluest, my hat is like a sharks fin!" - LL Cool J from the Deep Blue Sea soundtrack
Damn, I forgot about that movie.
everyone should do their own personal risk assessment of a shark attack even though we won't tell you any live data on shark prevelance in your area.
we have the tools to address shark attacks, but we won't give them to you or we will make them so expensive you can't afford them.
everyone knows shark attacks are transmitted by touch, so if you get attacked you clearly didn't wash your hands enough.
Shark drawn to feeding freenzy, "Awe, let me have some"
Shark eating person who injected hotsauce into their bloodstream, "You wouldn't like it, its spicy."
-I won't get eaten. I'm built different.