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[-] Manjushri@piefed.social 280 points 6 months ago

She hasn't heard from him since? She'd better unclench and make sure he's okay...

[-] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 42 points 6 months ago

Well did she ever give his nose back?

[-] diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world 25 points 6 months ago

Give him his nose back! Give him his nose back!

[-] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 163 points 6 months ago

If you can't laugh during sex, then what dafuq are we even doing here‽

[-] ngdev@lemmy.zip 30 points 6 months ago

bc if you laugh it reminds me that my tiny peen is a joke and the erection goes away

[-] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 10 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Unless you're like 1.5 in 10,000(.015%),I can assure you your average or slightly above.

Edit: can't help myself, there's an abnormal amount of angry small dick fuckers here(of which, you are not one!).

[-] SacralPlexus@lemmy.world 51 points 6 months ago

I’m no expert but I don’t think that’s how bell curves work.

[-] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 10 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Edit to also add; my bad for making someone else feel better about themselves. I'll try not to make that mistake again.

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[-] 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 6 months ago

I guess wearing a rigid mask?

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[-] Instigate@aussie.zone 18 points 6 months ago

It’s been a long while since I’ve seen an interrobang in the wild - you are a gentleperson and a scholar my good chum!

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[-] Flickerby@lemmy.zip 133 points 6 months ago

Sex is supposed to be a fun bonding experience. I see no problem. If you can't have dumb fun with your naked bestie who can you have fun with

[-] dingleberrylover@lemmy.world 24 points 6 months ago

This guy fucks

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[-] dwemthy@lemmy.world 100 points 6 months ago
[-] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 66 points 6 months ago

brown flag.

[-] dontsayaword@piefed.social 99 points 6 months ago

Some of us pay good money for that

[-] nymnympseudonym@piefed.social 37 points 6 months ago

One of the best things about monogamy is how freely bodily fluids of all kinds can be shared carefree

(Unless it's feces; that's not out-of-the-box sanitary)

[-] Mr_Fish@lemmy.world 58 points 6 months ago

Well feces ideally isn't a fluid

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 50 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I'm SORRY if we can't all meet Cosmo's latest unrealistic beauty standard of the week. If you can't handle my feces at its most-fluid, you don't deserve it at its most-viscous.

[-] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 10 points 6 months ago

It took me a moment to realize you were referring to Cosmo the magazine. I saw that OP’s username is Mr Fish and immediately thought of Cosmo and Wanda.

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[-] SmackemWittadic@lemmy.world 12 points 6 months ago

Most managers pay good money for people who brown-nose them

[-] SlartyBartFast@sh.itjust.works 56 points 6 months ago

That's honestly hilarious. I'd be laughing

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[-] wabafee@lemmy.world 30 points 6 months ago

Dude got suffocated by an anus.

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[-] Gust@piefed.social 21 points 6 months ago

The best sex I've ever had was with a woman who regularly (temporarily) cockblocked herself by making me laugh so hard I couldn't stay hard

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[-] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 15 points 6 months ago

what if she farts, or accidentally poops.

[-] NachBarcelona@piefed.social 9 points 6 months ago

How the fuck do you accidentally poop 

[-] Digit@lemmy.wtf 7 points 6 months ago

Love is like farts.

If you force either, it can turn to shit.

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[-] Digit@lemmy.wtf 10 points 6 months ago

My kind of gal.

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this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2025
929 points (100.0% liked)

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