I once worked with a guy who let me know that he was manic schizophrenic. Let's call him Bob (his name was not Bob).

He told me that he has a power out of his control where he can time travel to anywhere in his timeline to his own body, past or future. He would then inform and warn people of whatever, and would announce himself by saying "future Bob is here".

He seemed like a nice guy, but I didn't really know what to say to that. I never got to experience an episode of his, and he didn't last very long at the job. I wonder what that guy is doing now...

Florida man strikes again.

Our town had the case of the time traveling chef.

Im from a small vacation resort town with a strong historical theme to it. Its a beach town, with many seasonal workers coming in for the summer.

One of these, a chef, was new in town, and ate some magic mushrooms, and decided to go for a walk. He dipped into the woods, and came out the other side tripping, in the old historic district. It was also like 3 am, and there were no cars on the road. Apparently, his phone battery died somewhere allong the walk.

Fron this, he surmised he must have traveled back in time to the 1800s, and realized his money was no good, because it was dated in the future. So he decided to start walking home, hoping his house still (used to?) Exist.

Eventually his walk took him by a driveway, with a taxi parked in it, still running, with the lights on. He decided that the cab must have fallen through whatever temporal anomaly had brought him there, and decides to drive it back home. Which he does successfully, and falls asleep.

He wakes up the next morning to police, let in by his coworkers, whove found the cab which was obviously reported stolen. (The owner had apparently stopped at home for a quick minute mid shift, in a town where thats absolutely safe enough to leave you're keys in your car for a moment)

He gets charged, gets a court date. Shows up court, figures he was caught red handed, and decides to just be honest, and tells them that story, eith the exception of changing magic mushrooms to 'bad truffles' i a thinly disguised attempt to not self incriminate.

Judge is laughing, cabbie is laughing. They agree to drop all charges in exchange for restitution (something like $500, as though he had 'rented' the cab for 12 hours) court fees, and the agreement that he 'find supervision for any future mycological endeavors'

Hardly surprising coming from a nation where a third of you think dogs can get autism and about half can't read good

The burden of proof is on the prosecution. They have to show he didn't.

We've all been there

nah bro the mods have gotta fix this these ai NPCs are getting out of hand

Florida: [Alcoholic bath salts devourer hits wall.]

EuroLemmy: Americans don’t believe in mental health

Americans: [Grind jaws, sniff reflexively]

I believe him.