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[-] Digit@lemmy.wtf 1 points 27 minutes ago

Florida man strikes again.

[-] axexrx@lemmy.world 17 points 14 hours ago

Our town had the case of the time traveling chef.

Im from a small vacation resort town with a strong historical theme to it. Its a beach town, with many seasonal workers coming in for the summer.

One of these, a chef, was new in town, and ate some magic mushrooms, and decided to go for a walk. He dipped into the woods, and came out the other side tripping, in the old historic district. It was also like 3 am, and there were no cars on the road. Apparently, his phone battery died somewhere allong the walk.

Fron this, he surmised he must have traveled back in time to the 1800s, and realized his money was no good, because it was dated in the future. So he decided to start walking home, hoping his house still (used to?) Exist.

Eventually his walk took him by a driveway, with a taxi parked in it, still running, with the lights on. He decided that the cab must have fallen through whatever temporal anomaly had brought him there, and decides to drive it back home. Which he does successfully, and falls asleep.

He wakes up the next morning to police, let in by his coworkers, whove found the cab which was obviously reported stolen. (The owner had apparently stopped at home for a quick minute mid shift, in a town where thats absolutely safe enough to leave you're keys in your car for a moment)

He gets charged, gets a court date. Shows up court, figures he was caught red handed, and decides to just be honest, and tells them that story, eith the exception of changing magic mushrooms to 'bad truffles' i a thinly disguised attempt to not self incriminate.

Judge is laughing, cabbie is laughing. They agree to drop all charges in exchange for restitution (something like $500, as though he had 'rented' the cab for 12 hours) court fees, and the agreement that he 'find supervision for any future mycological endeavors'

[-] Hadriscus@jlai.lu 7 points 13 hours ago

what a magically glorious story

[-] TherapyGary@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 21 hours ago
[-] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 71 points 1 day ago

Hardly surprising coming from a nation where a third of you think dogs can get autism and about half can't read good

[-] muffedtrims@lemmy.world 12 points 20 hours ago

half can't read good

It should be 'read well', not good. 'Good' is an adjective and is always used with a noun. 'Well' is an adverb and is used to modify a verb, adverb or another adjective and answers the question 'how?'. Since the verb is 'read' it would need the adverb 'well' to modify the verb.

[-] patxi@mastodon.world 5 points 17 hours ago
[-] muffedtrims@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago

I have no time to watch it now, apparently I am too concerned with my dog's autism.

[-] axexrx@lemmy.world 1 points 15 hours ago

I n eas hoping you just linked the whole movie for a minute.

[-] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 20 hours ago

Congratulations on missing the point

[-] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 12 points 20 hours ago

That happens when the writer ain’t write good

[-] stiffyGlitch@lemmy.world 2 points 18 hours ago

proceeds to tell you that the way you used the words isn't right, your grammar isn't right, your spelling isn't right, the way you eat cereal isn't right, the way you drive isn't right, the way you speak to your mom isn't right, the way you dealt with that situation isn't right, and your whole existence isn't existing right

[-] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 2 points 17 hours ago

Look, your mom deserves a break, that’s all. She put up with you for years when you couldn’t even feed yourself.

[-] jaybone@lemmy.zip 2 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

You are criticizing people’s reading while you are writing poorly. I think you are missing the point.

EDIT: Oh I guess I am missing the point? Didn’t recognize the reference.

[-] dajoho@sh.itjust.works 4 points 16 hours ago

It's a satirical pop-culture reference to a scene from the movie Zoolander and completely intentional.

[-] ameancow@lemmy.world 2 points 17 hours ago

Unidan? In MY lemmy?

[-] watson@lemmy.world 20 points 1 day ago* (last edited 22 hours ago)

The difference between the US and Europe in this regard is that Europeans are a bit more discreet with their crazy people. EU have 3 times the population as the United States does, obviously they’re gonna have ~3 times more crazy people than we do. They just don’t talk much about it, while, in the US, the crazy people refuse to shut the fuck up

Edit: I mistakingly used EU instead of Europe when referring to a population of around 750 million. The EU does not have that population, but Europe, generally speaking, it does. That was my mistake.

Edit: yikes, a lot of crazy people disagree with me

[-] prole 1 points 4 minutes ago

Even if 750 million is accurate, that's definitely not 3x the population of the US.

[-] 2910000@lemmy.world 24 points 1 day ago

EU vs US population

EU ~450 million, US ~350 million

[-] BruisedMoose@piefed.social 26 points 1 day ago

We also don't math too gooder.

[-] stiffyGlitch@lemmy.world 2 points 18 hours ago

I feel like people are just doing this now to annoy the person who commented on that one comment

[-] BruisedMoose@piefed.social 1 points 36 minutes ago

IDK. I was just admitting we are a nation of idiots.

[-] watson@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I was thinking of the population of all of Europe, not just the EU. And I tend to use Europe and EU interchangeably. I probably shouldn’t do that.

[-] warm@kbin.earth 13 points 1 day ago

Not your fault. Both are valid abbreviations for each other. Only E.U. would actually be concrete, but...

Saying the EU should be the European Union. Whereas just EU should signify Europe as you wouldnt say the Europe.

The context here made it obvious you meant Europe though, dont know how people missed that.

[-] watson@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

I think the EU is a beautiful thing, and sometimes I forget that not all of Europe agrees with me.

[-] 2910000@lemmy.world 2 points 23 hours ago

I assumed OP either did a typo or wasn't a native English speaker

I have not encountered anyone referring to geographical Europe as "EU" before, that would be confusing!

[-] CompactFlax@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Education makes a tremendous difference. Americans have mentally ill people probably at the same rate as EU, but also has ignorant people and that’s where the difference is made up. If you travel 3 hrs in USA, you’ll find the same culture. If you travel 3 hrs in Europe, you’ll be in a different culture altogether.

[-] atomicbocks@sh.itjust.works 2 points 20 hours ago

Culture doesn’t have anything to do with intelligence. Also, no, driving 3 hours in the US will definitely get you to a different culture, likely a different accent even. It takes 3.5 hours to get from NYC to Boston…

[-] stiffyGlitch@lemmy.world 1 points 17 hours ago

clicks on post

"hmm this is interesting wonder what people have to say about this"

scrolls

the people

"y'know people are crazy y'all don't know how to read your pronouncation is wrong that's the wrong word that's not right there's like 4586k people there how about being mental huh we're just quiet Americans suck"

sighs

"how did this even come to this bro..?!"

[-] falseWhite@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Crazy vs. uneducated. Two different things. Not being able to read or not knowing how vaccines work is not a crazy person thing, it's an uneducated person thing.

The education in the EU is better AND it's free. That's why there are less dumb people who are anti-vaxers and can't read.

They are not more discreet. They actually just have better educated people.

Being better education also helps deal with mental health issues in addition to having free healthcare (although it's lacking in the mental health department), so less people are actually going crazy and doing things like school shootings or voting for a rapist in the presidential elections.

It's all education.

[-] warm@kbin.earth 5 points 1 day ago

Less, but still dumb and crazy enough that fascism is allowed to get a foothold again.

[-] watson@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

I feel that you may be correlating untreated mental illness with a lack of education, and those are not the same things.

[-] falseWhite@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 23 hours ago)

The initial commenter talked about not being able to read and thinking dogs can get autism.

You said this is a crazy people thing and Europe has just as many if them, but they are just more "quiet".

I corrected you that this is an education thing and that is why Europe has less people who can't read or think that dogs can get autism.

I also linked education and healthcare to having more mentally stable people.

Edit:

I feel that you may be correlating untreated mental illness with a lack of education

And the USA has more of both. More mentally ill people AND more uneducated people.

[-] watson@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I suggest you get a dictionary and look up the word “nuance”

Edit: apparently, Europeans are just as capable of xenophobia and bigotry as Americans are. We have so much in common!

[-] falseWhite@lemmy.world 7 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago)

So unappealing facts now count as xenophobia? Are you gonna declare me a terrorist next for not agreeing with your opinion? Very American of you.

[-] stiffyGlitch@lemmy.world 1 points 18 hours ago
[-] Grimy@lemmy.world 14 points 20 hours ago

The burden of proof is on the prosecution. They have to show he didn't.

[-] rain_lover@lemmy.ml 2 points 17 minutes ago

hehe, a fair trial in america, that's cute

[-] hibernative_naptosis@feddit.uk 23 points 23 hours ago

We've all been there

[-] dhork@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago
[-] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 day ago

Worst season finale, ever.

[-] stiffyGlitch@lemmy.world 3 points 18 hours ago

nah bro the mods have gotta fix this these ai NPCs are getting out of hand

[-] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 2 points 20 hours ago

Florida: [Alcoholic bath salts devourer hits wall.]

EuroLemmy: Americans don’t believe in mental health

Americans: [Grind jaws, sniff reflexively]

[-] moncharleskey@lemmy.zip 4 points 18 hours ago

Uuuuh, what are you talking about?

[-] Digit@lemmy.wtf 1 points 25 minutes ago

They'll need to explain the term "mental health".

Not just a case of not believing in it. Not even aware what the term could mean.

[-] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 2 points 18 hours ago

[Nonsensical jargon]

[-] Jimjim@lemmy.world 3 points 23 hours ago

I believe him.

this post was submitted on 11 Dec 2025
270 points (100.0% liked)

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