479
Anon has had enough
(sh.itjust.works)
Sit the fuck down.
With great power comes great responsibility. The ability to control comes with the burden of having to exert that control
Mine got chopped off 9 years ago.
Well inverted and made into a vagina, but the former is how most people seem to think it works.
Do not miss the penis
Pee sitting down, you coward
And close the lid before flushing, you nasties
(Added benefit: no arguing)
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Seriously. Why stand, miss, clean up your own piss (now or later), then repeat all that every time? Also: standing causes splashing - it NEVER all goes into the bowl.
Congratulations! The stream of your piss hit the rim of the toilet bowl, splattering on the seat, your balls, your legs, and some of it made it through the seat-rim gap to coat your underwear as well! I hope that you enjoy (I know I did...)!
(if it was not connected to my nervous system I would obliterate this thing with gratuitous violence)
Touching that sweet cold porcelaine... Priceless.
wait until this guy sits down to pee without paying attention to how things are hanging and feels it running down his calves
ask me how I know
how do you know?
I've sat down to relieve myself in the middle of the night while sick and half asleep and felt a strong warmth down the back of my legs because I pissed on myself through the gap under the toilet seat
I ain't afraid to admit it
ive done that a lot too. absolutely infuriating ๐
Doing bottom surgery entirely to pee consistently
So there's this really cool trick:
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Face AWAY from the toilet with the heels of your feet close to the base.
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Un-button/tie/velcro/zip the whole waistband (not just the fly) such that you can-
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Lower your entire pants to the floor.
Now this part can be a bit tricky and does take some practice to keep your balance but
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Bend your knees down into a squat while leaning ever so slightly backwards (you can put a hand on a nearby solid object such as the sink or a wall to steady yourself. They also make raised seats with handles on either side if you need help with this).
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Situate your buttocks firmly on the seat.
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Separate your thighs such that you can
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Point your penis down between your legs towards the toilet bowl.
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Proceed to urinate.
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Hygiene is the same as peeing using other techniques.
This technique is all but foolproof; it is almost impossible to miss the toilet bowl.
Hope this helps!
You forgot to state that the lid should be up
Now I've got piss everywhere
And the pants, lowered all the way to the floor, are swimming in a pool of piss
OK you have a point that I will only grant because I'm so used to finding the lid left up despite my best efforts but you are correct.
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Sitting can be very difficult first thing in the morning sometimes. Well, not the sitting part but the getting your dick to point down into the bowl part.
On those days you lie down on the toilet in a planking position, penis pointing down into the toilet
Some mornings, after you sit, you need to bend over until your forehead is on your feet.
I prefer to put my hands on the floor and lift my feet up against the wall.
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You're either a woman or have a small pee pee and never had your pee pee touch the inside of the toilet bowl when you try to stick it into the tiny gap between your groin and the toilet basin.
I'd rather pee in split streams than rub my precious dick on the inside of a toilet bowl.
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You forgot the most important step:
- Wash your roommates hairy ass grease off the seat.
Usually why I stand.
jelqd too hard
So this happens because the urethra loses moisture and welds shut, then pee chooses the least-resistance path. If you can't pee sitting ('cause it's easier), one trick is to clamp your dick and push to pee, then release. The pressure will open the urethra wide and a beautiful, directed stream of piss will come out. Also, pull your foreskin back when peeing and clean afterwards with a dab of toilet paper. Fellating persons will thank you!
I stopped reading at "clamp your dick"
That trick works. Before you pee, gently squeeze the tip vertically to open up the urethra.
Usually I just slam mine in the door, twice for best results.
I do it regardless if I need to pee or not
That wasn't the trick they were talking about. They were saying to start peeing, but prevent the flow of urine to let pressure build up to blast open the urethra.
I'm no urologist, but that sounds unhealthy.
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Well, if that's too scary for you, you can always blow a bit into it to inflate the urethra.
Gear... Third
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Thanks for a urethra lifehack! Might save me at times :D
I just piss into a wet vac
Hard to miss when it sucks the pee out
how is space?
I'll pee sitting down sometimes in my own home but peeing sitting down with a penis in a public restroom is gross. Regardless of whether your dick aims at the water or the side of the bowl that's a lot of fine spray of toilet microbiota landing on your junk and undercarriage. Better to just piss everywhere all over the seat and stay pure
"Me and my dick no longer see eye to eye."
"...That's probably for the best, ophthalmologically speaking."
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Anon needs to add "pee" between the fapping and sleeping in his bedtime routine, and the leftover spunk won't be around to do that.
Piss after jacking off, anon.
You're supposed to pull the foreskin before pissing. Otherwise you're just asking for it.
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this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2025
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