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submitted 4 days ago by bruhbeans@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

I'm currently funded by IKEA and looking to get a raise; my LinkedIn antifa group says it'd help if I had a competitive offer.

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[-] HubertManne@piefed.social 1 points 21 hours ago

bruh! you get funding?!

[-] Fu@hostux.social 1 points 21 hours ago

@bruhbeans somebody let me know, stat!

[-] g8phcon2@k.fe.derate.me 1 points 21 hours ago

@bruhbeans@lemmy.ml lol

[-] JennyLaFae 4 points 2 days ago

I'm selling patch space on a nascar style battle jacket.

[-] ImgurRefugee114@reddthat.com 62 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I'm sponsored by Big Gay to promote liking cocks. They have a good health plan which includes free prostate exams. The PTO is a bit underwhelming tho; they really expect you to push cockliking 24/7, 365. It's hard

[-] Vanth@reddthat.com 33 points 3 days ago

It's hard

Sounds like you're doing a good job though. They're lucky to have a hard representative like you.

[-] olafurp@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Ahh the Cockliking™ is as hard as it gets

[-] skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago

The Shadow Wizard Money Gang

[-] olafurp@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

I'm funded my Big Small that is trying to sell more less

[-] KittenBiscuits@lemmy.today 38 points 3 days ago

Wait, you all get paid?!

My recruiter told me this was entirely a volunteer position.

[-] that_one_guy@lemmy.ml 8 points 3 days ago

Thought we were doing it for the love of the game honestly.

[-] tlmcleod@lemmy.ml 5 points 3 days ago

I like games. But I like money too.

[-] BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

I am funded by Antifa LLC and The Trans Agenda Corp.

[-] GammaGames@beehaw.org 24 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

The sorosbucks seem to be drying up lately. All these abortions aren’t going to pay for themselves, I might have to go paint a few crosswalks with rainbows to make up the difference

[-] JetpackJackson@feddit.org 18 points 3 days ago

Currently trying to get funded by the shadow furry communist catgirl government

[-] Witchfire@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

Is that that Anonymous hacker I keep hearing about?

[-] Casuallynoted@pawb.social 2 points 2 days ago

The Erotic Bakery

[-] pastermil@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago

The GNU/Linux corp.

[-] Deme@sopuli.xyz 12 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Currently I get my salary indirectly from the International Practical Chemtrail Cabal (IPCC), with the social media PR side more as a side hustle.

[-] P00ptart@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago

I'm being funded by penguins. I don't know why, I don't even like mackerel that much but these fuckers swam from Antarctica, up the Mississippi, up a few tributaries, to deliver more fish than I know what to do with. So I can't tell them to fuck off and that I already am on their side. That'd just be mean. So anyways, anybody want some fish?

[-] anotherspinelessdem@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 days ago
[-] P00ptart@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

Thank the aquatic birds.

[-] Vanth@reddthat.com 17 points 3 days ago

Ben & Jerries. I'm not a real believer though, I'm only in it for the compensation in product. Tubs and tubs of ice cream.

[-] rockSlayer 17 points 3 days ago

I'm currently freelance antifa, the gig work pays better

[-] Damarus@feddit.org 4 points 3 days ago

I thought we shouldn't tell anyone!?

[-] jobbies@lemmy.zip 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

A lefty grubby commie mom and pop global big box store. Its all very socialist.

[-] hperrin@lemmy.ca 9 points 3 days ago

I’m funded by Big Small, the lobbying group for those people who sell hand made crafts on the sidewalk.

[-] cypherpunks@lemmy.ml 4 points 3 days ago
[-] Asafum@feddit.nl 14 points 3 days ago

I work in the warehouse for Antifa Co. Hillary Clinton and Obama sign my checks!

[-] bruhbeans@lemmy.ml 10 points 3 days ago

Thanks Obama!

[-] very_well_lost@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago

The support of viewers like you

[-] HiddenLayer555@lemmy.ml 9 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)
[-] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 7 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I'm actually funding the shadowy leftwing cabal unfortunately. Would be nice if it went the other way but alas

[-] Achyu@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 3 days ago

How does someone get funded by your cabal?

[-] GuyFawkes@midwest.social 5 points 3 days ago

I missed cabal sign up day so I’m waiting for Soros to give me my orders.

[-] TherapyGary 9 points 3 days ago

I'm currently crowd funded, but I've been thinking about seeing if Blue Cross Blue Shield wants to fund me

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago

Big Gay Tech

[-] umbrella@lemmy.ml 3 points 3 days ago

china and russia, of course.

[-] Zeusz13@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

According to my government I'm the lackey of Soros, getting paid to make our kids gay and bring migrants into the country. It honestly starts to sound like a good deal, especially when I look at the paycheck I get at CPS

[-] Zorsith 6 points 3 days ago

Formerly funded by the biggest socialist organization in the USA. They owe me money (whenever the current pissing match ends) and i kinda need it.

[-] fluxion@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

I'm funded by Soros' housemaid

[-] Sunsofold@lemmings.world 4 points 3 days ago

Tell them I offered a whole $5 more. If that doesn't get management to scramble for a budget extension, nothing will.

this post was submitted on 03 Oct 2025
125 points (100.0% liked)

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