ill never understand how "married women are expected to change their name to their husband’s" is still a thing in the 21st century
To me, the real issue is that the entire process is one giant double standard which is built on that expectation. At least it is in the US.
If a woman wants to change her last name to her husband's, it's fairly easy. She can just mail a form to the Social Security Administration and use her SS card to get a new photo ID.
If a man wants to change his last name to his wife's, he has to hire an attorney and get a court order.
I guess this is the US of A? Here in a northern European country you get the option when you marry to keep your names, combine both, only keep the husband's or only keep the wife's.
Now that's the way to do it.
In Spain, since the 16th century, the wife keeps her last name, and father and mother last names are used, the order of which can be changed.
Also, after your 18th birthday you can change it to whichever order you want.
I've wondered, though, what happens when the kid gets married and has a kid?
When Juan Acevedo-Rodriguez marries Mariana Cortez-Garza, what is their kid's last name?
Edit: disregard, I should have kept scrolling, someone already answered my question.
It’s even worse in Japan, where married women are legally required to take their husband’s name. (There is mounting pressure to reform this, though the conservative ruling party is dragging its feet.)
Not to detract from your general point, but no, you don't need an attorney to change your name in (at least most of) the US, especially if you have a reason you can put on a simple court filing like "marriage". It is somewhat unnecessarily complicated by paperwork, but you definitely don't need a lawyer and it isn't recommended to pay for one for something so simple.
I know this because I'm transgender and have changed my entire name, and looked up the process in multiple states.
It’s easier that everyone in the family has the same surname imo
So the kids get double surnames?
Do their kids get quadruple surnames? Where does it end?
The Spanish system is superior:
FirstName(s) Parent1LastName Parent2LastName
To clarify it's the first last name of both parents, and you can choose the order with the condition all children of same parents must have the same order.
Just pushes the issue down one generation…
Parent1 B C, Parent2 J K
Makes Child1 C K
(or Child1 K C)
...
Parent3 B A, Parent4 J H
Makes Child2 A H
(or Child2 H A)
...
Child1 and Child2 become Parent5 and Parent6
Parent5 C K, Parent6 A H
Child3 K H
(or Child3 H K)
...
it seems to work pretty well (ends up preferring people with two surnames, which is an ok amount of surnames)
I agree with the fact that it's easier for everyone to share the same name, especially when one parent travels alone with the kids. It's such a faff (with good reasons) if you don't have the same.
The issue is more that it's often assumed that the wife has to take the husband's name by default, rather than it being ultimately a choice between the couple.
Icelandic patronyms like to have a word. You can have a 4 person family and nobody has the same "last name"
Which, like most Icelandic peculiarities, is adorable, but doesn’t scale well, especially with the pool of available names being restricted by the Naming Committee (in Iceland, it is illegal to give a child a name that is not on a list of approved names). With under 400,000 people in the country, and almost no family names, Icelandic phone directories apparently list people’s nicknames as well, so you don’t call the wrong Gunnlaugur Þóraresson by mistake.
Here, there is no surname. every name is a given name. Yes, even something like Abdul Juan Michael Obama Pierre can be a full given name of one guy.
Couples I've known who both had double-barrelled surnames before marriage generally combined one of the names from each of their names to create a new double-barrelled name, which is what their new family and kids use. E.g. A-B marries X-Y and they become B-Y or X-A or whatever.
Sometimes, the missing parts of the surname get given to specific children as middle names. Which is a nice way of acknowledging older family members without burdening your kid with an old or boring name.
where I live, kids still usually take on their father’s name (sometimes the names are combined), but the mother almost never takes on her husband’s name. so yes, usually the mother will be an outlier in her family, last name wise.
i don’t think mothers were i live are less connected to their family because of it, tho
(altho, personally, i still don’t like the fact that it’s expected for kids to take on their father’s name, it feels like a relic of a shitty system better left in the past)
I find it weird that it’s an expectation but I don’t think it’s weird that some women like to do it. My wife wasn’t going to change her name, but decided last minute to take my name because she wanted to share a name with any kids we’d end up having and we both agreed we’d want our kids to have my last name. Now we almost have our daughter (our first) and she has no regrets. But I wouldn’t have been upset if she kept her name. She’s got a far cooler last name than me anyway. Maybe I should’ve taken hers. Oh well.
Let's trade. Women can keep their names when they let their sons keep their foreskins.
That's... a bizarre take on the situation.
Rest of the world: wat
Whenever I've had this debate, it's always the men who are pro-circumcision, but go off I guess.
It makes my work maintaining computer systems a nightmare. Mary Smith changing to Mary Taylor makes my job harder. At least on these CoTS systems, and without notice.
I'd love to see Trav hyphenate and have Kelce‐Swift on his jersey. It would anger all the right people.
For maximum triggering he should put her name first, Swift-Kelce. Plus whenever commentators talk about him it'll always sound like they're complimenting his speed.
I am so damn tired hearing about this stupid engagement. If the goal of this post is that we're going to talk sexism and feminism, the last way it should be done is through the lens of an out of touch idolized billionaire
T Swizzle is the American equivalent of a Royal now...
So that's why Trump is envious then
All billionaires are evil. All of them.
Taylor CO2 Swift
A relic from a bygone era, but my favorite meme of all time
Is this guy not aware that taking your husband's name is optional? Yeah, she's probably not gonna, but if she does, it's be disrepsectful NOT to call her by Kelce.
She can have a stage name be her maiden name. Not a big deal.
Sounds like she worked so hard she would still be this popular even if she wasn't her daddies little "entertainment investment"
her parents entertainment, once had to explain people on a sub about her, said she was from well off upbringing, her entire career was engineered by her parents.
Oh yeah, I'll bet you could do what she does even better if you had rich parents. /s
I had a fun conversation one time.
A friend complained that all movies about band careers are the same. “They start from nothing. Struggle to get anything. Then suddenly get their big break and they’re famous. “
I was like, “yeah otherwise it’d be boring as shit. You want the Taylor Swift movie where her parents just pay her way into stardom?”
The man is back?
dril has been posting a ton on Bluesky for as long as I’ve been on there (eight months?)
Has he enabled Bridgy Fed?
I hope so. He's hopefully even stronger now due to the black mold.
Ok, her name is taylor.swift now.
Hats off to Susan Sarandon for keeping the name of her first husband forever after their divorce.
Taylor Swelce
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