Any port in a storm.

Christian butt babys!

From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands.

It's pretty explicit that he didn't make more than one man. Or maybe it was just a biblical harem anime?

Mitochondrial Eve (evolution) proves incest, so there's that.

Oh yeah no doubt

My old religion teacher said that hereditary diseases weren't a thing back then. I don't believe in the bible but that kinda checks out.

For my body be of coke, and my blood made of that really strong wine.

Yeah, I mean if you think about it, if you really read it, the Bible is written to tell the Jewish people that they are the most specialist, special people on the planet. And everyone else can kinda just go fuck themselves.

Even Jesus didn't really much like performing a miracle for someone who was from Canaan

Mathew 15:22-28:

And behold— a Canaanite woman having come out from those districts was crying out, saying, “Have mercy on me, Master, Son of David. My daughter is badly demon-possessed”. 23 But the One did not respond a word to her. And having come to Him, His disciples were asking Him, saying, “Send her away, because she is crying-out after us”. 24 But the One, having responded, said, “I was not sent-forth except for[a] the lost[b] sheep of the house of Israel”. 25 But the one, having come, was prostrating-herself before Him, saying, “Master, help me”. 26 And the One, having responded, said, “It is not good to take the bread of the children and throw it to the little-dogs[c]”. 27 But the one said, “Yes, Master. For indeed the little-dogs eat from the crumbs falling from the table of their masters!” 28 Then, having responded, Jesus said to her, “O woman, your faith is great. Let it be done for you as you wish”. And her daughter was healed from that hour.

Which, like, one reading of it says, Jesus was so cool that all you had to do was have faith in him and good things would happen to you.

But on the other reading of it, Jesus is ignoring this woman as she begs for her daughter's life, and not until the woman debases herself in front of Jesus does he deign to sprinkle a miracle her way.

He literally called Canaanites dogs, and it's not like it was a huge miracle. The girl was possessed by a demon. Out of all of the people on the planet, the son of God would be the one person who could just like kind of blink in that demon's general direction and banish it. And he wouldn't spare a blink for this woman until she begged him and debased herself for him.

And I get it, to a certain degree, I obviously don't understand what it's like to be the Son of God in any way, shape, fashion, or form, but I'm sure the requirements of being Jesus, like your daily existence, must have been stressful at a level that I could only comprehend if I was actually on fire.

But this kind of makes me not really trust my local pastor, talking about how Jesus loves me when I'm farther removed from being a Jew as almost anybody on the planet, not including china.

If Jesus would barely be convinced under an incredibly public and annoying situation to send a tiny little sprinkle of blessing somebody's way because she just doesn't happen to be a Jew, then my Native American ass likely does not stand a chance in hell.

And that really sucks, because I believe in him and I've prayed to him and I've talked to him my entire life, just being realistic about it, I mean, cross-checking the number of prayers I've had versus the numbers of prayers I've had answered, and cross-checking how much I wish I was a better person, and how often I've prayed for guidance, or understanding, or wisdom, or forgiveness, or strength, or anything, to become a better person. better person and what a piece of shit I actually am in practice, and don't get me wrong, I'm not like a puppy kicker or anything. It's just there's nothing good about me at all.

And so when you cross compare everything in my life, you counterbalance that by the amount of good that exists in me, even though I'm not offensive, I'm not gonna go to the good place.

And there's a part of me that wonders if it's because I just wasn't born the right race, you know?

I mean, there's literally millions of non-practicing people who happen to have been born Jewish, who, if they could just confer their birth right on me, would change my life for the better in so many ways, because I would have been branched into God, and therefore God would have to hear my prayers or something. But I don't know any non-evil way to do that. I don't even know an evil way to do that. I don't know any way to do that at all.

Omg. Command & Conquer was a Bible reference this whole time? (Kane was the leader of Brotherhood of Nod)

That first part of genesis is just two creation myths in a trench coat.

I specified Genesis, as did the meme.
Where will the Jews discover your wisdom?