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When I Realize I'm A Grownup (piefedimages.s3.eu-central-003.backblazeb2.com)
submitted 1 day ago by Nusm@piefed.zip to c/funny@lemmy.world
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[-] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 15 points 17 hours ago

Me, as a child: "I want to eat four KitKats at once."

My parents: "You'll give yourself a tummy ache and spend the rest of the day puking and shitting."

Me, as an adult: puking and shitting noises

[-] Entertainmeonly 6 points 16 hours ago

Next comes the realization you can also buy quality treats.

You're welcome.

[-] Isoprenoid@programming.dev 56 points 1 day ago
[-] skisnow@lemmy.ca 25 points 1 day ago

I've resigned myself to having to only Fuck Nestle on most of their products. Perfect is the enemy of good.

[-] tja@sh.itjust.works 5 points 15 hours ago

I don't think there is any Nestle product I need

[-] Fleur_@aussie.zone 2 points 17 hours ago

I used to have a kit Kat addiction and would eat a whole chocolate block sized bar of the stuff like this

[-] Broadfern@lemmy.world 59 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

The other side to that is realizing how sick you feel after eating three giant KitKats

[-] bleistift2@sopuli.xyz 34 points 1 day ago

Doesn’t matter. The fourth will put it right.

[-] teft@piefed.social 2 points 1 day ago

And the fifth brings you back to upset tummy.

[-] Broadfern@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Goddammit I originally put four and then edited to three LMAO

[-] ccunning@lemmy.world 26 points 1 day ago

Shortly after moving out on my own I realized I could just buy broccoli and steam it and eat it whenever I want. Keep in mind I LOOOOOVED steamed broccoli; especially with lemon juice and butter.

I have binged on candy and felt awful afterwards but never in my life have I felt as miserable as I did the night after I ate a whole head of broccoli. The trapped gas in my abdomen literally made me wish I was dead.

…and my dumb ass had to do this twice before before I made the connection…

[-] myrrh@ttrpg.network 10 points 1 day ago

...that's mostly due to it being undercooked (or cooked-just-right in my opinion), which i learned the hard way after binging on a giant bag and fearing i needed to rush to the hospital until an absurdly-long-winded bout of flatulence relieved the pressure...

...if you overcook your broccoli it doesn't have the same effect...

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Dude, you know what's worse than trapped gas from broccoli? Trapped broccoli. Be careful.

[-] Dave@lemmy.nz 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Well being an adult is taking a giant bite through a bunch of giant kitkats, then putting the rest away for another day.

[-] IndiBrony@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Just wait until you realise there are FOUR Kit Kats in the image!

[-] sga@lemmings.world 5 points 23 hours ago

I never even thought that i would call someone this, but you have forced me to. YOU BARBARIC!

[-] otacon239@lemmy.world 26 points 1 day ago

But being an adult is realizing those choices are accommodated by consequences. Like all your friends giving you shit for being ‘lol random’.

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 1 day ago

But being an adult is realizing those choices are accommodated by consequences

No! I specifically ordered my increased autonomy without any adulting! I demand a replacement or a refund!

[-] LuxSpark@lemmy.cafe 3 points 1 day ago

At least you can decide for yourself if you want to accept those consequences.

[-] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 day ago

I was 26 before I realised that I could have as much bacon as I wanted whenever I wanted.

[-] ook@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 1 day ago

Tell that to your arteries at 35.

[-] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 2 points 21 hours ago
[-] MellowYellow13@lemmy.world 1 points 17 hours ago

Nah, not if you eat like this. You prob unhealthy af

[-] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 1 points 7 hours ago

Actually, I think I'm doing pretty well for a guy my age. Certainly better than the average. However, I could stand to do better.

I don't actually eat bacon everyday. Just because I can do something doesn't mean that I do.

Got any tips for an older gent that's looking for some gains? Not trying to look like Chris Hemsworth, but a healthy muscle tone would be nice.

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

They say bring on the crestor lined bacon

[-] JackbyDev@programming.dev 6 points 1 day ago

The best part about eating kit kats wrong is the look of disgust on everyone's faces as you do.

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

There's no right way to eat a kit kat. Fuck nestle.

[-] JackbyDev@programming.dev 1 points 17 hours ago

My friends sure seem to think there is.

[-] Coolbeanschilly@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 day ago

Then you feel like trash the next morning because you starved your body of proper nutrition. If continued long term, you become a fat diabetic.

[-] bleistift2@sopuli.xyz 7 points 1 day ago

If your body reacts this way from eating too many sweets once, then your problem started weeks before.

The human body needs way less nutrients than people generally assume.

[-] Onomatopoeia@lemmy.cafe 1 points 1 day ago

If I ate something like this, I'd feel awful in a matter of minutes, probably about 30. Oh, it would taste awesome until then.

I'm not diabetic, but hypoglycemia sucks balls. I can't even eat a fucking banana unless I've just had a meal. 😕

[-] bleistift2@sopuli.xyz 1 points 15 hours ago

How does a banana give you low blood sugar, and how could eating a meal (= more carbohydrates) help?

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[-] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 day ago

We still live in a society governed by laws and morals.

Straight to jail.

[-] Bonesince1997@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago

You're right, and it's a jail of diabetes.

[-] myrrh@ttrpg.network 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

...one morning when i was in college, my roommate and i realised we were grown-ups, so we went to the grocery store, bought two tubs of frosting, came back to our apartment, sat down with spoons-in-hand, and watched an afternoon of arthur c. clarke's myterious world on the sci-fi channel...

(ugh; never again)

...i learned the same lesson chewing a jumbo-pack of fruit stripe all-at-once four years later...

[-] Lifter@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 10 hours ago

I guess you didn't learn your lesson then...

[-] Juvyn00b@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

I was in college and loved Arby's beef and Cheddars. Ordered 5 at the drive through, ate them all within 20 minutes. Oof. I still remember how heavy they were.

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

What weighs more, 5 Arby's beef and cheddar or 5 pounds of Tungsten? The 5 Arby's beef and cheddar, because you also gotta carry the weight of what you did to those Arby's workers

[-] myrrh@ttrpg.network 2 points 1 day ago

...i spent a summer internship working at an office where arby's curly fries were the only vegetarian food within walking distance; haven't been able to stomach them since...

[-] Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 day ago

Anyone else just randomly bought a cake and ate the whole thing?

Being an adult isn't all bad.

It’s funny till you been a grown up too long and you get either disgusted or scared of this lol.

[-] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Choosing to by a psycho is definitely a choice.

[-] Ryktes@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago
[-] Nusm@piefed.zip 6 points 1 day ago

Working too hard can give you a heart attackackackackackack…

[-] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

He's trading in his Chevy for a Kitititit-Katatatat

[-] Supervisor194@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

♫♪ You oughtta know by now...♩♬

[-] kinkles@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago

When I started living on my own I baked a whole thing of cinnamon rolls and ate them all.

[-] bleistift2@sopuli.xyz 5 points 1 day ago

Man was it nice to fill up a shopping cart with ALL THE SWEETS and no-one could stop me.

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this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2025
524 points (100.0% liked)

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