What happens if he says yes? Then you are trapped alone with him. Seems worse lol
Then you bail
you bail either way
you bail either way
Yup, you just get to make the joke first :)
You wouldn't be alone if either party has women friends. I wouldn't be surprised if the guy in this post had no women friends , or only had women be wanted to fuck.
Also the bisexual erasure is pretty thick here.
Men lusting after women is bad because women are territory that each man must protect.
Women lusting after women is good because that means larger harem for alpha man.
Men lusting after men is best, because we achieve peak masculinity and become Spartans and conquer the world.
Sparta couldn't even conquer more than their own backyard. They'd overrun Messenia and enslaved the lot, then spent a few centuries bickering with the rest of Greece, until Persia financed them to claim hegemony. That hegemony lasted 33 years, then they bickered with Thebes for a while, took losses, never quite recovered and eventually got subjugated first by the Macedonians, then by the Romans.
That's when you double down and say he can't have women friends because he'll want to fuck them. Then throw a jealousy tantrum because that's literally what he said.
I feel like there's a difference between the two but judging by this comment section lemmy doesn't do nuance.
Exactly which nuance is important in this context?
Presumably the fact that she isn't hanging around his male friends when he is not around? Otherwise they would technically also be "her male friends". Beyond that, he probably has more context to trust his friends.
Apples to apples would be saying they should stop hanging around his female friends, but given how he is implied to act, I would think it unlikely he has any (or at the very least they are unlikely to want to fuck him).
Though frankly, if he is worried about her male friends to the extent that he wants her to stop hanging around them, then the relationship is already on shaky ground. Because he is overly possessive and controlling, and possibly also because she really is giving him reasons to feel insecure. If it's just the former, then her trolling his toxicity is very funny. If it's also the latter, then... well it's still kinda funny, but in a more mean spirited way.
So I'm not sure the nuance between the asks really changes the point of the post.
I 100% agree with this. He's already behaving badly, and overall it's a huge red flag of a comment.
But his male friends are presumably his friends from either prior to the relationship or with no regards to his partner. They would be betraying a friend they're fond of to act on this attraction.
Her male friends do not care about hurting his feelings anywhere near as much, and may even have delusions of replacing him. Many of them may have become her friends directly because of their attraction to her.
I don't believe that this inherent means that he intends to cheat on his partner with a female friends of his own, and therefore believes men are like this, to be clear. I am lucky enough to have a beautiful partner, and have close female friend who I have platonic friendships with while aware those women are very attractive. But I wholeheartedly trust myself not to act on any attraction to anyone else, which is the bare minimum of course. There are men my partner is friends with who I can tell are attracted to her, but largely I don't care, because I wholeheartedly trust her to rebuff them too. But I'd also expect that if one of them made a move on her, she would distance herself from them.
To me, his comment means "I don't trust you around people who find you attractive." That means one of two things. Either he is behaving possessively and exerting authority over her, or there actually is basis in his comment. I'd assume the former, largely because personally, I've known more possessive men than women who would cheat but we don't really know enough about the situation.
Overall I hate the entire post and absolutely do not believe these two people are going to have a happy relationship.
Edit: I support her in maintaining those friendships. If he truly believes she's not trustworthy to be around those friends, and does not want to remain in a relationship if something were to happen there, he should leave her. If it's in his head and he's behaving possessively, she's better for it anyway.
You see, when some motherfucker you don't know wants to fuck your girl, that's BAD! When it's ya homies, it's chill.
Life lesson
Women are human beings that should have autonomy to do as they please. And they're not "yours" or anybody else's but their own selves. (Women, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong)
What nuance? The misogyny??
ಠᴗಠ
These comments are really weird.
Eh, posts like this give people a chance to reflect on their own relationships, and bounce their thoughts off of the internet in a relatively safe space. Half of what you are hearing is folks imprinting on the situation. Things are gonna get a little weird.
UNOooooooooooo.
She's right, though. The only friend I ever had who wasn't creepy with my girlfriends behind my back was gay.
Get better friends!
Oh for sure. Way ahead of you, ditched those guys years ago. Now I just have no friends!
No bad friends! Focus on the upsides
Im sorry if its misogynistic but I dont really want a woman nobody else wants to fuck.
Like... if the consensus is "Naaaaaah" theres probably a really good reason.
The fact that you're basing your desire on anyone else's opinions at all means you are not based. Next.
You are not sorry enough yet.
That comment is badly phrased, but I can appreciate at least some of the sentiment. I’ve always felt pride if other people have found my partner attractive. It appeals to my self-esteem and vanity knowing that this person who is desired by others, chose me.
the consensus is often based on looks, idk if that's a good reason
People are downvoting you, but there's truth there. I assume you're not just talking about looks, because that would be stupid and you deserve all the downvotes. However, If a woman has some major red flags that everybody except you knows about, than your statement holds. For example when you join a new friend group or you move to a new town and you think you meet a nice girl, bit everybody starts warning you te get out.
Back in the day, we used the maxim of "don't stick your dick in crazy". You can't say that anymore in this time of nazis and toxic masculinity, but I think this is what OP means.
I can say I have been with girls whose friends were guys all wanted to fuck em. I never held against em. Was honest about it with em, but I always put the trust in them to do the right thing.
I've learned in life there's a little truth to everything, and a lot of bullshit with a lot of things. You'll have horrible women, and horrible men. You'll have folks so obviously blind to what's in front of em, they won't know until their bumping uglies with eachother. You just gotta roll with it.
I laughed but then I thought about my hubby's friends.
Ew that's nasty 🤢
Punctuation
One time a guy, I was with, was like; "all your male friends[ want to fuck you]© you should stop seeing them" ... And I was like {all your male friends want fuck me too™ we should stop seeing them"¢ and that's when I learned toxic masculinity can be funny~ when I do it®
Yur rite🤾♂️prononicitating correct like makes it much more 🦐
Let you're Jesus live they're life, They're fighting the patriarchy;
(There I used an extra cup of grammar; I even made sure I used words with apostrophes for you)
so there i was minding my own business when suddenly someone decided to become the ultimate guardian of punctuation like seriously who died and made you the king of commas and periods i mean really do you go around with a red pen in your hand just waiting to correct people is it a hobby or are you just that bored with your life let me tell you something oh mighty punctuation overlord the world is not going to end if someone forgets a comma or misplaces a semicolon i know it might be hard for you to grasp but people can actually understand sentences without perfect punctuation it's almost like we have this amazing ability to comprehend context and meaning even when a sentence isn't perfectly structured with all the right punctuation marks in place i mean do you think shakespeare sat around worrying about punctuation probably not he was too busy writing amazing plays and sonnets that people still love today and guess what his punctuation wasn't always perfect either but here you are in the 21st century acting like the punctuation police as if the world will crumble if someone forgets an oxford comma oh the horror i can just see you now clutching your pearls at the sight of a misplaced apostrophe but let me ask you something oh wise one do you think people will remember you for your impeccable punctuation or for being a pedantic nuisance who couldn't see the forest for the trees because let me tell you something the world is full of beautiful imperfect things and sometimes a sentence without perfect punctuation is just a reflection of that imperfection so next time you feel the urge to correct someone's punctuation maybe take a deep breath and remember that life is too short to worry about such trivial things and who knows maybe you'll find that the world is a much happier place when you're not constantly nitpicking every little punctuation mark or maybe you'll just find a new hobby like knitting or birdwatching anything really that doesn't involve being a punctuation tyrant but hey that's just my opinion i could be wrong maybe you're just a punctuation superhero saving the world one comma at a time but somehow i doubt it so go ahead and keep being the punctuation police but don't be surprised if people start rolling their eyes every time you open your mouth because let's face it nobody likes a grammar nasi and yes i spelled nasi with an s just to annoy you because sometimes you just have to break the rules to make a point and maybe just maybe you'll learn to lighten up and enjoy life without worrying about every little punctuation mark but i won't hold my breath because let's face it some people just love being pedantic and there's nothing anyone can do about it so good luck with your punctuation crusade i'm sure it's a very fulfilling way to spend your time and who knows maybe one day you'll look back and realize that life is too short to worry about such trivial things but until then i'll be over here writing sentences without perfect punctuation and enjoying the freedom that comes with it so goodbye oh mighty punctuation overlord may your commas always be in the right place and your semicolons never be misused but most importantly may you find something more meaningful to do with your time than policing other people's punctuation because let's face it the world has enough problems without you adding to them with your pedantic ways.
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