Ok, first, to get some important things out of the way. Voice surgery, or even voice training isn't ever necessary, or at least, it's not something that someone else gets to tell you is necessary. It can help with dysphoria, and it can help with cis passing and avoiding transphobia, but even then, whether that makes it necessary is an entirely personal decision.

As for why people will tell you that your voice passes as cis? There are several reasons. First and foremost, for people who have known you a long time, they often, honestly just can't tell anymore. Secondly, the whole pressure to cis pass that we push on to members of our community is not a positive thing. Like I said above, it's something that people should be deciding for themselves based on their own needs. And I really feel uncomfortable being part of that pressure. So if someone asked me if their voice cis passes, I'd be very hesitant to answer, because the act of answering itself suggests that cis passing is a goal you should be seeking.

The way to get what you're looking for from people here isn't to ask them if you're cis passing, it's to ask people whose voices you find inspiring how they achieved various things. "How did you voice train? How do you shape your vowels like that? Who did you get VFS through?" etc. You're not putting them on the spot and asking them to assess you and your validity, but asking them questions that can have objective answers, rather than subjective answers loaded with judgement.

Now, with all of that out of the way, I had VFS (in Australia), and whilst it hasn't been perfect, it's been a strong positive for me overall. The thing that got me wasn't my day to day voice. It was androgynous, and people didn't know how to read it, until they knew my name or saw what I looked like. The exception was when I was coughing, sneezing, or cheering/yelling. My voice training did nothing for those things, and I got VFS to help me with them. As a result though, my voice now cis passes, but it's also quieter than it used to be. I can yell at my old volume, but making myself heard in a noisy restaurant, or in a workplace meeting without yelling is pretty much impossible now.

And the other consideration is that VFS isn't a magic bullet. The way to think of it is that it will give you more for less from your existing vocal training. After VFS your training will take you further than you were able to achieve beforehand, which means that training is a worthy goal, whether or not you want VFS, and whether or not your voice can cis pass

I have a natural talent for manipulating my own voice. At my best the illusion is bulletproof. Like I once managed to get she/hered in full boymode with a face full of stuble.

I rarely keep it up in conversations longer than a minute. I get distracted and then realize I've slipped into something more comfortable. It's handy for going outside without being hatecrimed. But even as someone who can sound fem by carefully manipulating my voice... like, I wish I didn't have to. Vocal feminization surgery is risky but damn if I can't understand risking it anyway. You're right, "git gud" is not helpful advice

A question I have also asked many times. I am also pursuing vocal surgery. There's so much disinformation about vocal surgery out there. The surgical techniques used today are very unlikely to have the negative outcomes people associate with older vocal surgery. Do your research on surgeon and technique and consider what your expectations are.

I've been voice training for about a decade. It's hard. I work every day with my voice and I can't get my voice to a place where it passes all the time. I settle for giving my pronouns on every call. That does help some. But no I'm planning on vocal surgery after I had the revelation that it is far more advanced than people would have you believe. And I wish there was a greater push to see it as important as grs. It should be covered by insurance.

If you're looking for a recommendation where money is of no consequence, Yeson voice center in South Korea is far and away the most advanced in the world. Their technique is unique and there are a lot of results you can find online. I was looking into the Haben Practice for Voice and Laryngeal Surgery in upstate New York. Their technique is one of the more advanced ones in North America. However, I am Canadian, and getting in and out of America is hazardous at this point. I've been weighing other options.

I guess that's the downside of people talking mostly about what they personally did: you're much less likely to learn the details of something less people do or know about.

But yeah, voice dysphoria sucks, I hope you feel better regardless of how you go about doing that 🫂

i sadly dun kno the answer... bt i do fully agree, it shud be mor of a thing talkd about...

ive been discouraged by some peeps who got voice surgery and.... an accident happened n now their voice is-.... all the way up there, always ;(

bt thad is lik tellin me "oh nononononono if somthin goes wrong, ur WEIRD" which... thads the case for mani things ;(

I don't get it either. I've hated my voice for a very long time, and every time someone compliments it it just digs in like a thorn.

I didn't want to go from a tenor to a bass literally overnight at the age of fucking 14 or 15!! I don't care if it sounds nice, i don't care if its easy to understand on the phone!! I don't like to be recorded in video because if i find the video ill hear my own voice.

They probably weren't lying to you, I have transfem friends that sound fem to me even tho they never did voice training, sometimes just knowing the person is enough to change your perception of their voice