I hate being on ladders, I'll stay down here with the penises.
Hello.
Thanks for assuming it’s a handful
I know it's shitposting, but even if we accept the idea that God would be interested by what you do with your own body when you're alone, isn't the whole point of the Bible that you don't have to climb to go to heaven, but accept God's grace?
I.don't understand evangelicalism.
Some would even argue that the point isn't to accept god's grace but to be a good neighbor and take care of your fellow man.
Some would even argue that the point isn't to accept god's grace but to be a good neighbor and take care of your fellow man.
So stop at every rung to jerk off. I’m not in a hurry.
What about two penises
What do you think the ladder is made of?
Penises obviously.
Watch me climb the dick ladder mouth first.
I heard that ladder had like, 30 goddamn dicks
Wait, I have to climb all the way up there? No thanks. I'll rather stay down here and spank the monkey.
Protip: you can climb perfectly well if said dicks are in your ass.
I was literally touching my penis when my eyes alit on this post.
My first thought was that this was an incredible coincidence, and worthy of remark, but now I'm starting to wonder if maybe I'm subconsciously handling this thing more than I realize.
I hoping to ascend and not to climb. I've gotta say, I'm worried that after a while god might not be able to do it. Like he gets me half way up and then I just kind slowly drop down to earth... And hes like all apologizing ... "Sorry, it's been a long day. This has never happened to me before. Maybe we can try again in the morning." So on and so on.
All the while knowing he was intimidated by me swinging around my rock hard cock yelling "Look mom! No hands!"
🎶 What's love but a second hand in motion. 🎶
Sex gives you STI STOP SEX NOW
Oh fuck, for free???
I love Subaru
Fuck that, I better at least get a damn elevator.
I can sure send the guy to heaven though...
I mean, wouldn't you have fairly strong grip strength with a lot of "practice?"
Hey who said I had to have my hands full of my own penis? I don't need to touch it to masturbate, and I've touched plenty of other guy's penises. Is my "ladder to heaven" just going to be made out of every guy I slept with? Seems a bit sexist.
You say that, but what about St. Paul who is definitely in heaven and was a pathological gooner
Plot twist. The ladder is made of penises.
Touching your penis IS heaven.
Unless you're climbing a penis ladder
Even if I have a Jacob's ladder?
No... I like touching myself way too much
You will never touch your penis with your hands full of heaven ladder
I didn't think we were supposed to climb to heaven. Isn't that what the tower of Babel was about?
"Hands full of penis" is a great title.
Mrs. Jane "Hands full of penis" Smith
or
Mr. Samuel "Hands full of penis" Finch
Maybe not to heaven but you might get close?
Oooohhhh, I get it now, it's because you can't climb a normal leader with a raging boner, or at least it's unsafe since you break every step as you drag along.
But as others have pointed out, a leader made of dicks doesn't have that problem since they snap back into place.
God must be a great engineer.
Pennies*
Fuck you. I'm waiting for the shuttle anyway.
Watch me.
Ok I'll watch you stop
You'll have to watch me start first 😤
Oh yeah, it's all cumming together, I'll secretly observe the bananaless watch hexxor start jerking!!
LOL. Must learn to think before I speak/post. So hard.
I mean, I only really need one hand to climb.
me, who's played Getting Over It:
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