As I said, short. Quite short!

In July of 2022, I used LSD for the first time. Today, I have my sights set on Switzerland, and my goal is to advance psychotherapy and pharmaceutical medications.

A primary goal is to create an alternative to a traditional opioid, targeting the kappa opioid receptor--featuring effective analgesia, no psychoactive effect, no addiction liability, no dependence, and no toxicity. I also want to advocate for safe recreational substance use--and, hopefully, shut alcohol down. I wish to push further for the implementation of psychotherapy for conditions such as PTSD and depression. There is so much we don't know.

How did we get here?

First, 2020.

COVID hit hard, and I'm no exception. I was apathetic, bordering on omnicidal, and, overall, not very far from dying. I was also an ardent asshole that didn't need help from anyone. I continued further and further down this spiral--suppressing my emotions, dismantling my connection to my past, becoming a shut-in despite desperately needing interaction. I was in a fairly bad way. That, and school was not making things any better.

I came across a post on Reddit detailing new findings in depression research--psychedelics help. A lot. It caught my eye.

This is how I was, very literally, handed a red pill. Not the blue pill that the right has decided to dye red, but the red pill that our lovely Wachowski friends made a metaphor out of. This is how my world view became challenged.

I read the absolute shit out of the subject. I was captivated. This rabbit hole went deep--and, oh boy, was reality not what it seemed. In short, fuck Nixon's racist ass.

On to projects like The Drug User's Bible (particularly through a post relating to a Vice article.. rest in peace, Vice), the works of Alexander and Ann Shulgin, projects like Erowid and PsychonautWiki, and, today, organisations like TripSit.

It was painfully obvious that psychoactives were meant for me. Thus, did our journey begin.

It started with sourcing. Turns out, sourcing is hard. I asked around, to no luck, or to find I wasn't the only one that tried.. until one day.

June of 2022.

2022 is when I first microdosed, just to get a feel for it. The tabs must have been rather weak, as it wasn't all too strong. As I'd learn later, they definitely were weak--my current single tab doses feel approximately like two local tabs. I approximate 50-75μg Regardless, easily manageable at a perhaps 20μg dose.

Next came vacation. I brought the tabs with me, and planned on doing them on a good day. So how did that go?

Well, to start.. it didn't. One hour in, nothing. Waited longer.. nothing. It appears that LSD has stopped responding.

Welp, it was a dud. Anyways, I took a pipe hit.

...OOOOOOUUUCH!!!!

I headed to the bathroom to hack my lungs out, when... there we go! So how did that go?

Well, to start, I was saying "DUUUUUUUUUUUDE" a lot. Like.. a lot. The headspace was very stoner, is perhaps the best term. I was in very little control, though it was highly euphoric. I have largely failed to replicate that euphoria until starting to dose higher recently. It was, by all means, a good trip. It was devoid of anxiety, until going outside. It was night, and I didn't like the trees moving around. I simply said "too scary out here" and remained indoors.

Visuals were not particularly strong, but it was obvious this was LSD. I had done mushrooms prior this same vacation. I'll note I went into public on my very first (mild) trip, and was fine. I did LSD again 2 days later, and I don't know how I didn't have a tolerance. Again, nice ride--a little more under control.

I had determined that I love this, and my assumption that this was for me was 100% correct. Little did I know, though, that I was an overachiever.. and shooting for 1,000%.

And then 10,000%.

And then 100,000%.

I did mushrooms with a friend, tripped LSD on my own on various occasions, and kept noting how each and every time, I gained a little more control. My brain was adjusting. It's as if I had a latent skill being slowly awoken. Even during a disaster which unfortunately occurred with a friend during a group trip, I remained quite calm.

Well, let's try a million.

In comes 2025. I am 21.

So you know what salvia divinorum is? Notorious stuff. Abjectly terrifying in high doses. By all means, for the worthy.

I did it. I was doing it wrong, but I did do it. We'll learn later why doing it wrong was about to screw me over a little. By all means, salvia was a gentle ride (because I was doing it wrong, oh God).

Next, fucking Benadryl. And DXM. In combination. By the way, please don't please don't please don't please don't please don't please don't please don't please don't please don't please don't please don't please don't please don't please don't please don't please don't please don't please don't please don't please don't please don't please don't please don't

300mg/300mg was perfectly manageable, and highly enjoyable. I'm keeping it to a super rare once a year occasion, if that. It's a fascinating visual ride, but no delirium. As well as this, it's just dangerous. Let's not do delirium, and keep even low doses infrequent, yeah?

How about Ayahuasca?

Even that was gentle. My body doesn't seem to work correctly with it, though. It hits faster than it should, and is a short experience. Something is weird with me there.

DMT?

Trivial. Haven't broken through, but it's easy. I'm not a fan of the tingly sensation, but the visual ride is fascinating.

MDMA, of course, is trivial. However, I have very little control over it--less than any other substance. At one point, I wanted some me time, and instead became hypersocial and extremely sweet.

Okay, let's combine DXM and LSD.

Hey, we got something! The first hour was slightly unsettling! The rest, however, was the best day of my life.

...LSD, MDMA, THC, DMT?

Fuck it, salvia extract.

Major leagues! I had wondered why it wasn't working (I was doing it wrong God help me) and decided to investigate. Turns out, our lovely active compound, salvinorin A, needs heat. I can't blame Sally--She wants you to bring as much heat as She wants to. Gotta match Her energy.

I'm going to retell this story as I had forgotten the details when I made my post on it. (Link soon)

I sat outside on the porch of a downtown area (you moron) and got my torch lighter (fuck). I lit up, inhaled, and.. YEOUCH, that's some thick smo..oh.

oh god.

Within about eight seconds, I was at my strongest dose ever. Mission abort, exhale early--

Nine, ten, eleven..

"Oh SHIT, GET INSIDE!!"

So I practically leaped out of my chair, and into the foyer. I was now as high as I had ever been in my life.

Thirteen, fourteen, PAUSE! Did you know this is how long you're supposed to hold a hit? Fifteen, sixteen..

So I got into the foyer, realised I had just left my bong there, returned to get it, picked it up, and went back (I DIDN'T BREAK IT!?). I don't remember why, but I put it down (to grab the lighter instead? I found that outside after too, might have abandoned ship). The thing I remember next is once again standing at the doorway.

To my right, a stack of foyers. I saw duplications of myself closing the door. The door closed. One second later, the next. Then the next. Then the next. Then the next. Then the next.. until it reached me--and I closed the door.

...And I closed the door.

And I closed the door. And I closed the door. And I closed the door. And I closed the door. And I closed the door. And I closed the door. And I closed the door. And I clo--

Each step to my left, I was facing the foyer. I'd never rotated in a negative direction before, but here we aren't.

(I hope this is as fun to read as it is to type, praise salvia)

Anyways, I somehow fumbled into the foyer in this disastrous state, and somehow closed the door one more time for good measure. At my right, a void closed in on my vision. I was a clock hand, and I rotated toward my right.. towards the end.

I was approaching midnight.

”WHERE'S THE DOORKNOB!?”

I reached out to the incorrect floor, and..

"OH SHIT,"

It's in my hand.

"IT'S IN MY HAND."

There it is! And so is the door! Ooh, and--

"OH SHIT--"

..the apartment, the Earth, quite possibly the entire universe..

"WHAT THE FUCK!?"

..the clock just struck midnight.

Well, to say the least, this was enthralling! I was now a spinning, amorphous thing--half my body gone, the other half being stretched in all manners of infinite directions on infinite axes. Great!

At some point, I started banging on things, hoping to break out (how the hell was I still standing--) and eventually felt a thud (never mind!). I persisted, noticing a hole opening. I was almost free.

I eventually broke free from this realm, and was helped up by my room mate. I noticed a void in the floor slowly being filled in.

I turn to my room mate, dumbfounded, and simply say "...WHAT the FUCK!?"

I asked what happened. Nothing happened.

And then I remembered I smoked salvia. For the first time this trip, I was lucid.

"REALITY JUST... LEFT?"

Yes it did. Let's get you to bed--but not before getting your precious big ass bong--

"Where did you leave the mouthpiece?"

Where is the mouthpiece.

Bong, lighter, where is the mouthpiece.

WHERE IS THE MOUTHPIECE.

I searched around everywhere--inside, outside.. and I eventually found it.

A piece of it.

I had been holding it, because I released the smoke.. and never put it down.. until I forgot to keep holding it.

The rest is still missing.

Anyways, I was ready to dive right back in after that, so, clearly, that wasn't enough to do me in.

Alright, now for my most recent endeavour. Just add acid™!

Nope! Not even my highest dose of LSD, in combination with salvia (plain leaf, non-extract, so weaker), was enough. It was fascinating, albeit brief. It was quite strong as well, nearly touching the previously described experience. I accidentally started shouting my thoughts aloud, though, so I hope nobody heard me. Still, my mother got home during this, and I demonstrated something very cool.

I was trying to represent one of the visuals with my arms, and noticed they were moving by themselves. I had an idea. I reached my arm out, pointed my forearm toward my chest, then let gravity do the work, making sure to not just let it fall.

My arm became a clock, rotating at a steady pace. To the viewer, it's clockwise. This isn't just a feature of the high--this was a demonstration of the kappa opioid receptor's function relating to motor control. In real time. Call me Bill Nye right now.

Very cool. Also, it still works--I did it today. I tried it with my left arm to see if it'd go up instead of down to maintain clockwise rotation, which I think broke something. Neither arm rotated the second time. Anyone know a technician?

Ketamine jumpscare!

This was after starting this post, in fact. I dosed 250mg orally, which was a little scary. It was quite strongly dissociative, and was actually a little scary. Still, it was nice. It might have been the scariest experience I've had.. until it just wasn't anymore. It evened out, and it was a very interesting and fascinating ride. Not only that, but I talked, typed, and walked.

I give up.

Anyways, that's all fun, but what about the science?

Science is pretty much just as fun as the experience, actually. I'm keeping it super surface level, though. Read into geometry, how the brain generates it, and how different compounds generate different imagery. Look into the functions of different receptors, and how modulation of these receptors translate to effect.

I already mentioned this at the start of the post, but I noticed salvia is analgesic. It doesn't just dull pain, but it seems to make internal sensation vanish entirely, and replaces it with a uniform stinging on the skin. It's weird, but I personally like it. What I want to focus on is the effect of the body seeming to vanish. It is an surprisingly effective painkiller.

Again, no toxicity whatsoever, does not cause any side effects (including no respiratory depression, a huge feature!), no addiction liability, no tolerance, but is obviously too intense of a psychoactive to warrant medical use for pain. However, we can explore different compounds which target the same receptor, but interact differently.

Hypothetically, we could produce a kappa opioid receptor agonist which targets pathways within the receptor involved in pain management. Reduce its ability to cross the blood-brain barrier (which salvinorin A does easily), and you reduce its psychoactive effect. Compare salvinorins or other KOR agonist structures, and you've got yourself a map to work with.

This is an active area of research, which I had discovered based on a hunch. It just sort of made sense to me. Undoubtedly meant to happen.

I've also applied this sort of knowledge to my own life. I noticed during my transition that I seemed to be having some emotional insensitivity--estradiol seemed to be fighting something. I looked into it, and learned THC downregulates CB1 and dopamine receptor activity. CB1 and dopamine regulate reward and motivation, but, specifically, mood and emotion. Indeed, I noted depleted mood, emotional attachment, motivation and rewarding sensations while I was sober. I largely ceased use.

In comes CBD, which doesn't have psychoactive property, but certainly does the opposite of THC--boosting dopamine activity. This should make it an effective and practical tool in my transition. It should also reduce my addiction liability due to dopaminergics producing relatively lower jumps in dopamine receptor activity, now that dopamine activity is perpetually higher.

LSD has been an effective aid in my self image due to its activity on the 5-HT2A receptor--a receptor I need to refer to quite a lot.

It seems that ADHD and autism mesh very well with the modulation of learning, in combination with the expansion of the mind. It truly is a shame that this is the compound that lands you in prison, and then there's alcohol.

Indeed--the compound that has killed zero people, and caused zero motor related incidents, is much more dangerous than the compound that kills over 100,000 innocents a year in the US alone.

Of course, we know the real reason it remains banned--it'd get people challenging narratives. We can't have that, because we'd get female presidents!

You can't keep the public asleep forever.

LSD has essentially erased my personal need for Adderall. I'm thankful I can occasionally have some fun, instead of becoming dependent on a prescription medication with various negative health effects. By no means will this work for everyone, but I see potential here. It's worked wonders for my image and personality, as well as motivation.

And that's merely the substance journey itself. That's glossing over how much they made me start paying attention.

I've seen LSD described as a microscope that looks inward. This is how I discovered my identity wasn't as it had seemed. It felt as if I had to reach for emotions--across a ravine, or through a barrier. I felt distant from myself, and psychedelics got me in touch. This is eventually what let me to start my transition.

Oestrogens boost resonation with emotions (it also modulates the 5-HT2A receptor, meaning that all women trip balls). This trait is fairly well known. On a particular DMT session seemed to break down a wall--I cried for no particular reason. The emotions just freely flowed. I was with my friends during the session, and described it as "feeling for the first time".

After ceasing cannabis use, I recall crying in my bed, and crying during a tense scene in a game. It worked. I'd fulfilled my goal.

Not only this, but I now feel a drive to find new clothing. I now have an eye for fashion, and have preferences. Previously, I got whatever felt comfortable and covered me appropriately, but now get excited over the idea of new clothes. Getting new bras, trying them on, and seeing how they look is so refreshing. I'd fuck up some super short jeans.

I've styled my hair as seen in the photo. It looks great! I just need it to be longer, and I need to give the transition its time to do its thing. Probably need to thin the eyebrows a little, but it's looking good!

That's not even all.

Cannabis cessation (and continuing LSD use) had accidentally made me touch grass. God dammit, how am I gonna play League now!?

Let me just provide a list of changes this month:

• Started maca root supplementation. Supports energy levels, muscles, brain function, supports libido and various aspects of sexual function (actually helpful here as I'm kind of attached to my physiology), improves mood, reduces stress, and balances hormones (super useful!)
• Drink pomegranate juice daily. It's obviously an antioxidant, and also has a myriad of health benefits
• Supplement omega-3 and choline from milk. Choline is required in acetylcholine production, an important neurotransmitter relating to brain function. Omega-3 supports heart and vascular health, reduces inflammation, among many other benefits
• Supplement an alpha brain complex containing l-tyrosine, l-theanine, oat extract, huperzine a, and various other ingredients. These all relate to choline
• Daily, I walk, jog, stretch, and meditate
• I plan on supplementing CBD for its Star Wars intro of benefits
• Reduced salt intake
• Stopped crossing my legs, supporting vascular function
• Reducing shower temperatures
• Stopped skipping meals, and target three meals daily--previously struggling with two, and sometimes barely got one

Transition, physical and mental health improvements, a major career option. I had no New Year's resolution this year, and my goodness did I not need one. The benefits are already obvious; Last LSD trip, my dose was as high as ever, and my blood pressure remained in normal range (119/72! No, that is not a factorial). LSD should cause vasoconstriction, but this remained only a part of the trip, and my heart rate was normal. My circulation has radically improved.

Life feels so much better than 2020.

This post is kind of aimless, and just yapping, but I'm doing incredibly well in the face of chaos. In a few short years, I went from wanting to burn it all down, to wanting to build it back up. I'm sure most will just see the image and scroll by, but I hope someone is motivated by some of my joyous whimsy, or my stories.

V wants YOU to do well in the face of chaosm We need all hands on deck--do not back down. I'm confident anyone reading this has the ability to get on track. Just put your mind to it. I found what works for me, and all you need to do is to find what works for you. I encourage others to share their hardships--I'd love to engage. I want to help as many people as I can.

I will see you lovely folks in the comments!

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/27636269

Kitty and 3,4-Methylenedioxymethamphetarule

I just need to portray how incredibly intelligent I am:

1. Take hypersocial substance in a solo setting
2. ...
3. Three (oh God)
4. Become hypersocial
5. Holy fuck I love everyone I need to talk to everyone (it's after midnight) :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3--

What did you think was going to happen you stupid fucking foxyeen boygirl creature thing (talked to my father for 2 hours)

Anyways, I'm planting flowers in my room, look forward to seeing how that goes. Here's a cat for your trouble.

I just need to portray how incredibly intelligent I am:

1. Take hypersocial substance in a solo setting
2. ...
3. Three (oh God)
4. Become hypersocial
5. Holy fuck I love everyone I need to talk to everyone (it's after midnight) :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3--

What did you think was going to happen you stupid fucking foxyeen boygirl creature thing (talked to my father for 2 hours)

Anyways, I'm planting flowers in my room, look forward to seeing how that goes.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/26305196

Falling on my ass in the foyer while reality ends and I become Paper Vivi rule

Oh joy! It's one of this thing's things again. What is it this time, V?

......A smoothie.

Okay, so basically, for context. I had been using salvia divinorum for a few months on and off, eventually just ceasing use because it was way too challenging to work with. It felt oddly weak, and like nothing I did worked with it. Note that I was using a dry herb vaporiser that isn't capable of getting hot enough to actually vaporise the salvinorin A. I even tried a lighter, to no avail. It was stronger, but my 20x extract was definitely not 20x stronger, and definitely not producing these breakthroughs that so many people seemed to be experiencing. It felt hardly different from plain leaf.

Eventually, I was like "what gives?", so I asked the helpful AI chatbot in the TripSit Discord for some advice.

Simply put, "salvinorin A has a high vaporisation temperature. Try a torch lighter, which will get much hotter than a standard lighter, and especially a vape."

Makes sense, and it wasn't the first time I'd seen this advice. I decided to give it a whirl, not expecting much.

A complete recap on salvia (see the link towards the end for a fantastic experience report on it): It's a psychedelic dissociative. Cross ketamine's insane spatial and gravitational feel (as well as the sense of the body vanishing, hence it being a dissociative) with DMT's breakthroughs, and give it its own visuals. At high non-breakthrough doses, it's described as splitting things into infinite stacks of 2D layers. It has a nice saturation to it. At lower doses, before even the splitting of layers occurs, I'd call it cannabis, but acid, with a body high that actually feels wonderful. I'd say it's my absolute favourite feeling. You'll experience lower doses either by chewing or smoking plain leaf. Chewing lasts about 3 hours, while smoking is a significantly more chaotic feel, yet only lasts a few minutes.

And breakthrough doses.. God knows what'll happen to you. You'll definitely become 2D, you'll fold in incomprehensible ways, you'll be flung across space faster than light, you'll turn into a bookshelf for 8 months--the edge of the universe is the limit. You really need to be prepared for everything that can happen, and everything that can't. This is not a grounded chaos like LSD is--it's beyond bewildering. It makes a DMT breakthrough feel like a cigarette by comparison.

Salvia breakthroughs are for the fucking worthy. We really need a PSA on it, too, since a non-zero population seems to step into this herb believing it's similar to cannabis, particularly through misrepresentation. It's relatively obscure. Of course, I'm well informed, but not everyone is. I would not wish a salvia breakthrough on anyone, except, like, orange man. The only thing I can think of that would be more harrowing is the absolutely terrifying datura stramonium, which is essentially the monster in the woods that you never, EVER cross paths with. If I'm scared of it, you should be as well.

With that out of the way.

Out of the frying pan..

So, I load a full bowl of 20x, and light that sucker up. Smoke so thick that it looked solid filled the bottom, swirling. I hit, and Christ, it burns, and I only take a fraction in. We'll find out in just a moment why this is a blessing in disguise, BECAUSE--!

..into the fryer.

Within 10 seconds, I am as high as I have ever been in my life--and it's not the peak..

..it's the moment of onset.

"Oh SHIT, GET INSIDE!!"

Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen..

I practically dive into the foyer from my chair--note that this door doesn't quite close, so it can just be pushed open--still holding the mouthpiece with the salvia in it. I am also dragging the entire universe behind me with me.

"OPEN THE DOOR!!!!!"

As I slam through and pass the doorframe, it's as if I feel a crease form, and the universe has finished moving, folding flush against the apartment. I shut the door (maybe, probably..?), and look to the door to my floor of the apartment, on the left.

Eighteen, nineteen..

A wall at the right of my vision has formed--a void--and is slowly moving towards the left. It feels as if my feet are the base of a clock hand, like my entire life was on a clock.. and my head..

..is rapidly approaching midnight.

It's the end of time.

"WHERE'S THE DOORKNOB!?"

As I reach and turn, I pick up the doorknob..

"OH SHIT, IT'S IN MY HAND.”

..and everything attached to it..

"OH SHIT--!"

..the door, the apartment, the planet, quite possibly the entire universe..

"--WHAT THE FUCK!?"

..and, as I say that, the clock strikes midnight.

This would be a hilarious sequence of events and dialogue, if my present state wasn't fucking fighting for my life. Half of my body has been swallowed by the void, the other half of my vision is now being wiped away.

I feel extreme confusion and turmoil, but it hasn't been long enough for panic to set in. It's not painful at all, which helps. In retrospect, the sensation was much preferable to nausea, due to this fact. God, I hate nausea.

The feeling is quite literally indescribable. As best as I can portray a rough idea.. all directions and sense of position have entirely ceased to exist. I feel like my entire body is spinning to the right, and all I can tell is that sometimes my head feels like it's being pulled down, and sometimes like it's being pulled up.

It feels like I'm in a wheel, being rolled. I bang, and I can feel something, but it feels futile. I turn my head, and my face feels like it's being flattened and stretched an unknown distance wide. Eventually, I can no longer turn--or sense turning.

This feels like two or three minutes at this point. I bang some more, and eventually, a hole appears. I can just make out something on the outside of this trap. There's light. I struggle for another minute. If I can just push harder..

..I slowly come to my senses, and my roommate helps me up off the ground. When I fell, and how hard, I have absolutely no idea. Probably not hard, as I wasn't in pain, and appeared fine after, if a little dirty. The void I was just in simply stays there. I pull my head out, and it looks like a hole in reality, slowly materialising.

My roommate steps back, and I analyse that void stretching through the entire length of the apartment at a downward angle, appearing to crash through the front walls. The blinds look like they're being pulled from the wall by gravity. My roommates hair is the same, same direction. Details on his clothes just hover off.

After a few moments, I just say,

"...WHAT the FUCK!?"

He doesn't say anything, looking almost as dumbfounded as me. I search around, just in awe. He says to me,

"What did you do?"

And then it clicked.

"Salvia?"

That was the effects of the salvia. I hadn't actually reached the end of time. That was the effects.

And it felt absolutely real.

At this point, I couldn't process what had just happened, so I just said "I smoked salvia, and then reality just.... left." He seemed amused, at least. He also mentioned that my roommates upstairs texted asking what the banging was.

I said something along the lines of "Jesus Christ, sorry," and I went outside to where my bong still was. It's still filled with smoke. I blow it out.

"Where did you leave the mouthpiece?"

The mouthpiece, with the salvia in it, that I was holding, as I dived into the foyer. That's a great question, because I remember holding it as I was absorbed into the void. It was in my right hand. I was holding it by a flat piece on the side. Where is it?

I look around everywhere, and I just don't see it. I go outside, I look there, I look inside. Back in the foyer, I eventually see a piece of it. The holder, and the rest of the main part? No idea.

I still don't know where the rest is.

Now, if you can believe it, I found the ride quite easy to live with having gone through. Not only that, but now that I have perspective on how the high goes, I can confidently say it's manageable, and especially enjoyable in its sheer level of chaos. I didn't know salvia felt like this, and now I do.

I called it a favourite in its lower doses, but now it seems like it could rapidly become a favourite in all regards. Being folded and swallowed by a void actually felt completely painless. I also noticed a distinct comedic edge to it. I wouldn't call what I went through funny, but, I mean, come on. Look at the series of events. This isn't the only time I detected a bizarrely humorous edge.

It's like a roller coaster ride, lined with sick and twisted humour, that won't ever crash. When you look at it like that, that actually sounds great. An instance of fatality due to salvia use is simply not documented--and that checks out from a pharmacological standpoint. Physically, damage done to the body is absolutely minimal. After the high faded, I was left with not even a hangover, or a racing heart, or.. anything.

It's my alter ego. A crazy, non-damaging roller coaster of a high with a comedic edge, which is very brief and ridiculously strong, yet entirely painless for its sinister nature, and can send you to who knows where. It builds no tolerance, and there's no evidence of regular users who enjoy the substance developing health problems with it.

It's perfect. It's so me.

I think my favourite account on salvia is this one, done by a Buddhist in a temple, no less. A fellow Lucy enjoyer, just like yours truly. The account is abjectly horrifying, but I enjoy the connection made at the end. Hellraiser. Why do people keep coming back to the puzzlebox?

Well.. I load a full bowl of 20x, and light that sucker up.

P.S.

Ayahuasca is a substance I capitalise out of respect. Salvia will end up the same, with a pronoun. I just can't pick a name.. The Shepherdess? Ska María Pastora? Yerba de la Pastora?

Or, my own term, part of my conlang: Ikr'aku'bai.

Regardless, I know for certain that salvia is a "She", and has plenty in store for me. I'm only 21, and have so many places to go.

Oh joy! It's one of this thing's things again. What is it this time, V?

......A smoothie.

Okay, so basically, for context. I had been using salvia divinorum for a few months on and off, eventually just ceasing use because it was way too challenging to work with. It felt oddly weak, and like nothing I did worked with it. Note that I was using a dry herb vaporiser that isn't capable of getting hot enough to actually vaporise the salvinorin A. I even tried a lighter, to no avail. It was stronger, but my 20x extract was definitely not 20x stronger, and definitely not producing these breakthroughs that so many people seemed to be experiencing. It felt hardly different from plain leaf.

Eventually, I was like "what gives?", so I asked the helpful AI chatbot in the TripSit Discord for some advice.

Simply put, "salvinorin A has a high vaporisation temperature. Try a torch lighter, which will get much hotter than a standard lighter, and especially a vape."

Makes sense, and it wasn't the first time I'd seen this advice. I decided to give it a whirl, not expecting much.

A complete recap on salvia (see the link towards the end for a fantastic experience report on it): It's a psychedelic dissociative. Cross ketamine's insane spatial and gravitational feel (as well as the sense of the body vanishing, hence it being a dissociative) with DMT's breakthroughs, and give it its own visuals. At high non-breakthrough doses, it's described as splitting things into infinite stacks of 2D layers. It has a nice saturation to it. At lower doses, before even the splitting of layers occurs, I'd call it cannabis, but acid, with a body high that actually feels wonderful. I'd say it's my absolute favourite feeling. You'll experience lower doses either by chewing or smoking plain leaf. Chewing lasts about 3 hours, while smoking is a significantly more chaotic feel, yet only lasts a few minutes.

And breakthrough doses.. God knows what'll happen to you. You'll definitely become 2D, you'll fold in incomprehensible ways, you'll be flung across space faster than light, you'll turn into a bookshelf for 8 months--the edge of the universe is the limit. You really need to be prepared for everything that can happen, and everything that can't. This is not a grounded chaos like LSD is--it's beyond bewildering. It makes a DMT breakthrough feel like a cigarette by comparison.

Salvia breakthroughs are for the fucking worthy. We really need a PSA on it, too, since a non-zero population seems to step into this herb believing it's similar to cannabis, particularly through misrepresentation. It's relatively obscure. Of course, I'm well informed, but not everyone is. I would not wish a salvia breakthrough on anyone, except, like, orange man. The only thing I can think of that would be more harrowing is the absolutely terrifying datura stramonium, which is essentially the monster in the woods that you never, EVER cross paths with. If I'm scared of it, you should be as well.

With that out of the way.

Out of the frying pan..

So, I load a full bowl of 20x, and light that sucker up. Smoke so thick that it looked solid filled the bottom, swirling. I hit, and Christ, it burns, and I only take a fraction in. We'll find out in just a moment why this is a blessing in disguise, BECAUSE--!

..into the fryer.

Within 10 seconds, I am as high as I have ever been on salvia--and it's not the peak..

..it's the moment of onset.

"Oh SHIT, GET INSIDE!!"

Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen..

I practically dive into the foyer from my chair--note that this door doesn't quite close, so it can just be pushed open--still holding the mouthpiece with the salvia in it. I am also dragging the entire universe behind me with me.

"OPEN THE DOOR!!!!!"

As I slam through and pass the doorframe, it's as if I feel a crease form, and the universe has finished moving, folding flush against the apartment. I shut the door (maybe, probably..?), and look to the door to my floor of the apartment, on the left.

Eighteen, nineteen, I'm as high as I've ever been in my life, twenty-one..

A wall at the right of my vision has formed--a void--and is slowly moving towards the left. It feels as if my feet are the base of a clock hand, like my entire life was on a clock.. and my head..

..is rapidly approaching midnight.

It's the end of time.

"WHERE'S THE DOORKNOB!?"

As I reach and turn, I pick up the doorknob..

"OH SHIT, IT'S IN MY HAND.”

..and everything attached to it..

"OH SHIT--!"

..the door, the apartment, the planet, quite possibly the entire universe..

"--WHAT THE FUCK!?"

..and, as I say that, the clock strikes midnight.

This would be a hilarious sequence of events and dialogue, if my present state wasn't fucking fighting for my life. Half of my body has been swallowed by the void, the other half of my vision is now being wiped away.

I feel extreme confusion and turmoil, but it hasn't been long enough for panic to set in. It's not painful at all, which helps. In retrospect, the sensation was much preferable to nausea, due to this fact. God, I hate nausea.

The feeling is quite literally indescribable. As best as I can portray a rough idea.. all directions and sense of position have entirely ceased to exist. I feel like my entire body is spinning to the right, and all I can tell is that sometimes my head feels like it's being pulled down, and sometimes like it's being pulled up.

It feels like I'm in a wheel, being rolled. I bang, and I can feel something, but it feels futile. I turn my head, and my face feels like it's being flattened and stretched an unknown distance wide. Eventually, I can no longer turn--or sense turning.

This feels like two or three minutes at this point. I bang some more, and eventually, a hole appears. I can just make out something on the outside of this trap. There's light. I struggle for another minute. If I can just push harder..

..I slowly come to my senses, and my roommate helps me up off the ground. When I fell, and how hard, I have absolutely no idea. Probably not hard, as I wasn't in pain, and appeared fine after, if a little dirty. The void I was just in simply stays there. I pull my head out, and it looks like a hole in reality, slowly materialising.

My roommate steps back, and I analyse that void stretching through the entire length of the apartment at a downward angle, appearing to crash through the front walls. The blinds look like they're being pulled from the wall by gravity. My roommates hair is the same, same direction. Details on his clothes just hover off.

After a few moments, I just say,

"...WHAT the FUCK!?"

He doesn't say anything, looking almost as dumbfounded as me. I search around, just in awe. He says to me,

"What did you do?"

And then it clicked.

"Salvia?"

That was the effects of the salvia. I hadn't actually reached the end of time. That was the effects.

And it felt absolutely real.

At this point, I couldn't process what had just happened, so I just said "I smoked salvia, and then reality just.... left." He seemed amused, at least. He also mentioned that my roommates upstairs texted asking what the banging was.

I said something along the lines of "Jesus Christ, sorry," and I went outside to where my bong still was. It's still filled with smoke. I blow it out.

"Where did you leave the mouthpiece?"

The mouthpiece, with the salvia in it, that I was holding, as I dived into the foyer. That's a great question, because I remember holding it as I was absorbed into the void. It was in my right hand. I was holding it by a flat piece on the side. Where is it?

I look around everywhere, and I just don't see it. I go outside, I look there, I look inside. Back in the foyer, I eventually see a piece of it. The holder, and the rest of the main part? No idea.

I still don't know where the rest is.

Now, if you can believe it, I found the ride quite easy to live with having gone through. Not only that, but now that I have perspective on how the high goes, I can confidently say it's manageable, and especially enjoyable in its sheer level of chaos. I didn't know salvia felt like this, and now I do.

I called it a favourite in its lower doses, but now it seems like it could rapidly become a favourite in all regards. Being folded and swallowed by a void actually felt completely painless. I also noticed a distinct comedic edge to it. I wouldn't call what I went through funny, but, I mean, come on. Look at the series of events. This isn't the only time I detected a bizarrely humorous edge.

It's like a roller coaster ride, lined with sick and twisted humour, that won't ever crash. When you look at it like that, that actually sounds great. An instance of fatality due to salvia use is simply not documented--and that checks out from a pharmacological standpoint. Physically, damage done to the body is absolutely minimal. After the high faded, I was left with not even a hangover, or a racing heart, or.. anything.

It's my alter ego. A crazy, non-damaging roller coaster of a high with a comedic edge, which is very brief and ridiculously strong, yet entirely painless for its sinister nature, and can send you to who knows where. It builds no tolerance, and there's no evidence of regular users who enjoy the substance developing health problems with it.

It's perfect. It's so me.

I think my favourite account on salvia is this one, done by a Buddhist in a temple, no less. A fellow Lucy enjoyer, just like yours truly. The account is abjectly horrifying, but I enjoy the connection made at the end. Hellraiser. Why do people keep coming back to the puzzlebox?

Well.. I load a full bowl of 20x, and light that sucker up.

P.S.

Ayahuasca is a substance I capitalise out of respect. Salvia will end up the same, with a pronoun. I just can't pick a name.. The Shepherdess? Ska María Pastora? Yerba de la Pastora?

Or, my own term, part of my conlang: Ikr'aku'bai.

Regardless, I know for certain that salvia is a "She", and has plenty in store for me. I'm only 21, and have so many places to go.

I did some ketamine last night, if anyone's keeping track. I indulge in a great deal of things. I do it in my room because my friends don't really approve. I treat safety very seriously, though--I'm not your average user.

There are like three mattress covers, and I lay on the sheets and blanket, with a small cotton blanket and weighted blanket on top of me. I also have a smaller soft blanket to reach for, and a poncho. Thermal socks as well. Then, of course, blåhaj and AFTONSPARV.

Ketamine, plus this bed, felt like I was floating. I was with someone I have a crush on over Discord. I'm transitioning, they're out of the closet, we understand each other incredibly well, life is lovely and gentle in my bedroom, everything is just fine for a few hours a day.

Take it easy, you all 🙏

Where my heart belongs

I'm prepared for nobody to get it

I'm 23 days into HRT and my boobs hurt and I can feel the weight and I will feel randomly euphoric

Look at this wall

Image removed. Here's a readjusted script, including a trip report:

Combo name: Superflip (LSD/DXM/THC)

Lovingly named after the Rubik’s cube permutation (the best one), the superflip is a rather normal combination of substances--a psychedelic, a dissociative, and a cannabinoid. Do NOT use a serotonin-releasing psychedelic, like MDMA, in conjunction with DXM, as it will cause serotonin syndrome! These substances all have a psychedelic nature. Note that it is important to take THC orally, as this will potentiate psychedelic-esque effects. Indeed, even DXM is noted to have psychedelic properties--I can vouch.

I feel the name “super” is a little.. done to death. However, in this case, the name is rather apt. The reason will be made apparent later.

DXM and THC both strongly potentiate LSD. If you’re daring, you could honestly use this as a way to get more use out of your tabs. It’s hard to argue with cost effectiveness these days, thanks to the wonderful work of orange. With this combination, a tab and a half of a $25 ten strip got me further than three tabs of a $100 ten strip.

It’s a solid combination, overall, but it’s far from being for the faint of heart. This one has some wild unpredictability in terms of strength. Start slow, and be patient. I found this combination to be highly enjoyable, with effort on my part.

In one word, though.. it’s exhilarating.

19 April 2025

It is 1347 EST. I am in my parents’ living room, writing this. I am mentally preparing myself for the worst possible outcome, as this is, by far, my strongest trip yet. I am doing a drug combo I have named “Trichroma” (NOTE: renamed). It is to mix a psychedelic with DXM, and take an edible at the same time, named for being composed of three psychedelic-esque substances. Please read into DXM’s safety, as it is unsafe to mix with many substances. I have selected LSD, as it is my personal favourite psychedelic.

Planned dose:

• 300mg Dextromethorphan (Freebase)
• 200µg Lysergic Acid Diethylamide (Gel Tabs)
• 50mg of ∆9-THC (Orally)

Initial Notes

I’ll be fine. Probably.

(NOTE: This initial word was absolutely comical in hindsight.)

Report

+0:00 (1500) - Initial 150mg dextromethorphan dose.

+0:05 - Deciding to reduce LSD dose to 150µg. Split the tabs as evenly as I could, but gel is tricky to work with. Taking about a tab and a half, plus a tiny, long sliver of an unknown amount at +1:15.

+0:13 - Opened a bottle of Pedialyte. This is for later, when my coordination will certainly be hindered. Pedialyte is hydrating, with some nutritional value, making it an excellent choice for a small amount of energy, when eating is challenging. Also useful for sweating, which will certainly come up on this relatively hot day. It is 26º.

+0:15 - Elected to dose 50mg of diphenhydramine, for nausea. Allowed another 100mg if necessary.

+0:30 - Additional and final 150mg of dextromethorphan.

+0:45 - 100mg of DPH. Effects are ramping up. I feel a little heavy, and pleasantly warm. It’s nice. This is likely the small amount of DPH going to work, combined with the DXM.

+0:50 - Eyes are getting a little dry, and my stomach hurts a little bit. Nothing unbearable. I still feel in a good mood. By the 1:15 mark, I should know whether this will go well or not.

+0:55 - DXM ramping up in intensity. I have a bit of time left to mission abort. 

+1:00 (1600) - Nausea ramping up. Coordination is hindered. I think I should have dosed less DXM, and I’m regretting it at this point.

+1:15 - Threw up. Benadryl, you've failed me. Honestly thankful, though. Obviously, not dosing LSD at this point. There has been a delay.

+1:30 - Willed myself to just try a 50µg dose of LSD--half a tab, and a sliver. Noting somewhat prominent DPH visuals. Prominent DPH closed eye visuals, with its characteristic smeary appearance.

+1:55 - About 25mg of THC. Hoping it’ll mitigate that nausea

+2:00 (1700) - Considering dosing 100µg of LSD, though I feel a bit rough. The nausea is fairly bad at this point.

+2:10 - Forced myself a 100µg dose of LSD, deciding I’m ready to follow through.

It was the most beautiful day.

I sat in the backyard, watching my flat-coated retriever, Vanta, run around with two other lovely dogs. The sight of these dogs enjoying the outdoors simply touched my soul in a way that nothing else ever has.

Of all of the days, this was the most beautiful one.

I sat with my father, and discussed this experience, as I watched the most inexplicably, earth-shatteringly powerful visuals I have ever encountered. The Earth itself was a painting. The trees, the clouds, everything was alive.

Of all of the days, this was the best one.

If I sat still, fractal geometry would envelop my entire vision. The clouds folded on themselves. The trees breathed. It was a spectacle.

Of all of the days, this was the most perfect one.

I must note, at the beginning of the trip, I was experiencing deja vu, and almost convinced myself I was in the wrong universe. It felt as if reality itself seemed to stop being believable. I remained calm. When I did, I realised I was in for an incredible healing experience.

The staggering beauty of my mediocre suburban Kentucky backyard was exactly what I needed at this point. Every aspect of existence felt overtly positive. After all, those trees are going to waste not being enjoyed.

It truly was the most beautiful day of them all.

The world must stay appreciative.

The world must stay fascinated.

An Erowid link may be provided eventually.