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submitted 2 days ago by MicroWave@lemmy.world to c/news@lemmy.world

Summary

Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem has ordered lie detector tests for DHS staff to identify leaks that allegedly foiled immigration raids, including a failed Colorado operation targeting Venezuelan gang members.

The directive, leaked to Bloomberg, requires polygraph questions about unauthorized communications with media and nonprofits. Despite polygraphs' unreliability, DHS insists they are necessary for national security.

The crackdown follows frustration from Trump’s border czar Tom Homan over compromised raids and aligns with broader MAGA-era efforts to control government communication.

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[-] affiliate@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago

Despite polygraphs' unreliability, DHS insists they are necessary for national security.

in keeping with tradition, “national security” continues to mean “because i say so”.

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

Dhs should take the classes the inventor of the lie detector offers on how to beat it

[-] Empricorn@feddit.nl 10 points 1 day ago

People like her are dumb enough to believe "lie detector" tests are completely dependable and always print out perfectly clear "lie" and "not lie" results. Everyone else knows polygraph tests are inadmissible in court for a reason and require a lot of careful prep and interpretation. Even then, they're far from 100%.

[-] ExtremeDullard@lemmy.sdf.org 152 points 2 days ago

If the lie detectors don't work, torture is always an option.

Do we call them the Gestapo yet or is it too soon?

[-] athairmor@lemmy.world 81 points 2 days ago

Lie detectors don’t work except as an intimidation technique so, yes, it’s Gestapo time.

[-] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 22 points 2 days ago

Lie detectors are known to not work

[-] meco03211@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

That's gazpacho! - Empty G.

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[-] bdonvr@thelemmy.club 52 points 2 days ago

Daily reminder that there's no such thing as an accurate lie detector test. Completely unscientific. Illegal to use except by government and it's basically a scare tactic/way to deny/fire people they don't have other cause for.

[-] hansolo@lemm.ee 17 points 2 days ago

Ah, you have half of it.

Totally made up metrics but used by govt. Meaning that if there was ever an easy way to purge ICE and DHS of brown people, this is an easy, no fuss way to do it.

[-] Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io 94 points 2 days ago

Why is Noem wearing a bulletproof vest in a staff meeting?

[-] Catoblepas 72 points 2 days ago

Realistic assessment of the mood of people forced to be around her?

[-] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 17 points 2 days ago

Honestly ya may not be far off, humans even profligates like those in Trumps orbit have a generally good enough ability to detect when folks are pissed at them. When said pissed folks have access to weapons, are more intelligent than you, and probably think what you are saying is beyond stupid then well wearing a comfort vest is probably the only thing keeping her from booking it out of the room.

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[-] Chozo@fedia.io 37 points 2 days ago
[-] Telorand@reddthat.com 21 points 2 days ago

Which is why she's ordered the lie detectors. They only know what they see in the movies, and lie detectors are one of their favorite devices.

[-] kata1yst@sh.itjust.works 26 points 2 days ago

You ever seen the dictator warlords constantly wearing miliary gear with too much polish and a thousand made up medals?

That's why.

[-] onecarmel@lemm.ee 19 points 2 days ago

She’s a very serious person with very serious things going on! /s

She’s worried someone will put her down like she did her dog

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[-] athairmor@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago

Funniest thing about that is they only help in an all-out fire fight to protect your vital bits except the head which would have a helmet. She’s not going into any situation nearly so dangerous and if someone wanted to take her out, specifically, there’s plenty of options.

She might as well have a mall ninja sword strapped to her back.

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[-] EtherWhack@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago

She wants to feel special

[-] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 day ago

Cuz she’s a bitch and she expects what she did to that dog

[-] Ledericas@lemm.ee 3 points 2 days ago

maybe animals lovers might not like her.

[-] fox2263@lemmy.world 21 points 2 days ago

I reckon she’s also somewhat leaky.

[-] AA5B@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

What are the odds of her submitting to a test?

[-] MdRuckus@lemmy.world 29 points 2 days ago

Just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it. - George Costanza

[-] BradleyUffner@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

It's a lie if the person interpreting the test says it is.

[-] Zugyuk@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

The card said moops

[-] Hobbes_Dent@lemmy.world 36 points 2 days ago

All the kings horses

and all the kings men

Couldn’t make Americans think

cops were bad again

[-] wjrii@lemmy.world 35 points 2 days ago

Oooh, when do we get to deploy the E-Meters?

[-] 0x0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 day ago

I have a device to sell to the DHS: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ADE_651

[-] athairmor@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

I’m going to sell divining rods to help find the immigrants.

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[-] ChaoticEntropy@feddit.uk 2 points 1 day ago

What's the betting that this is the result of indiscreet dick waving from more MAGA centred members of staff?

[-] blakenong@lemmings.world 13 points 2 days ago

Gucci just needs to come out with bullet proof vests. They won’t work for shit, but all the republican women will buy one.

[-] skuzz@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 2 days ago

I for one am very excited and sleep soundly now, knowing complete idiots are in control of the United States.

[-] MeekerThanBeaker@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago

She gets her training and ideas from episodes of NCIS and CSI... and their neverending variants.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

"Enhance. Enhance."

"Ma'am, images don't work that w-"

"YOU'RE NOT ENHANCING!"

[-] Hobbes_Dent@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

“What do you mean we don’t have cameras on every angle?”

*America is saved again by surveillance, tune in next week*

[-] peregrin5@lemm.ee 10 points 2 days ago

I like that her directive to combat leaking was itself leaked.

[-] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago

That is the single most ridiculous picture I've seen all week.

And that's saying something.

[-] MdRuckus@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

Just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it. - George Costanza

[-] MdRuckus@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

Just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it. - George Costanza

[-] Nougat@fedia.io 6 points 2 days ago

They’d be just as successful using a ouija board.

[-] AA5B@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

What makes you think they want to successful? They probably already identified their scapegoat, and just want to add a veneer of “proof”

[-] Idontevenknowanymore@mander.xyz 4 points 2 days ago
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this post was submitted on 19 Feb 2025
310 points (100.0% liked)

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