651
Tiring rule (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 2 months ago by Catoblepas to c/196

Latest hits: if gender is performative that means it’s fake and patriarchy doesn’t exist! I don’t know who Judith Butler is!

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[-] Emerald@lemmy.world 110 points 2 months ago

Of course you'll have a better time talking about gender with other gender enthusiasts. It's like complaining about how normies can't have a conversation with you about cars for as long as car enthusiasts could.

[-] Catoblepas 63 points 2 months ago

‘Gender enthusiasts’ is probably my second favorite euphemism for trans people now. The first being from an old lady who was trying to politely ask if a woman was trans and asked if she was “a woman by choice” 😂

[-] Emerald@lemmy.world 29 points 2 months ago

starts recording

Okay YouTube, this is my list of the TOP 10 genders of 2024! Tell me how many on this list you know about in the comments below. Leave a like and subscribe and let's get into it. I'll also be having a new video out soon about the best genders upcoming in 2025.

[-] kittenzrulz123 25 points 2 months ago

But before we get into todays video I would like to thank todays sponsor. This video has been sponsored by the Association of Gay Frogs

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[-] duckythescientist@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 months ago

"factory stock" vs. "aftermarket custom"

[-] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 13 points 2 months ago

Y'all overclock your gender?

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[-] sem 59 points 2 months ago

"That's right! It goes in the square hole!"

[-] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 41 points 2 months ago

I don't remember this part of sex ed.

[-] frezik@midwest.social 30 points 2 months ago

American sex ed fails again.

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[-] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 52 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

The fact that it's an evenly split partisan issue with only 0.5% of the population being trans means that you have A LOT of cis allies. Like, statistically, you're more likely to meet several dozens of understanding people than another trans person unless you actively limit your exposure of non-trans people.

There are probably some (not many but some) trans people who conform to binary gender identity beliefs, too, they simply want to be the other gender.

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[-] ElcaineVolta@kbin.melroy.org 45 points 2 months ago

there are so many people out there who can not fathom that the world could in fact be more complex than the version of it presented to them when they were children.

[-] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 41 points 2 months ago

Im a cis person(tho probably not the kind you meant) and i think talking about gender is pretty tiring. I think everyone has their biases and everything but you can make yourself a good person by trying to understand why you have those biasesa at least. And also gender is a prettt complex thing.

[-] Catoblepas 39 points 2 months ago

If you’re being open minded and respectful even if you don’t understand something (or disengaging if you can’t) then probably 99% of trans people, myself included, aren’t going to have any issue with your questions or contributions to discussions about gender

It’s the (usually cis) people who are at Gender 101 level engagement, think they’re at Gender 501 level engagement, and also want to understand and learn nothing who make this so goddamn tiring 🥲

[-] TheFriar@lemm.ee 23 points 2 months ago

lol no disrespect, but you did just say “be open minded and respectful” after posting a meme equating all cis people to idiot babies

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[-] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 16 points 2 months ago

Let's be honest here, that's a long way of saying "the vast majority of people couldn't give a shit either way how I live my life but they just really really wish I'd stop talking about myself for a minute" 😂

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[-] themoonisacheese@sh.itjust.works 34 points 2 months ago

I got hit with the exact opposite yesterday: "gender cannot be only performative because patriarchy exists and that would mean invalidating people hurt by it"

So tiring

[-] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 34 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

So close yet so far, the entire point is that it's performative and therefore millions of people were hurt for no real reason.

[-] Valmond@lemmy.world 16 points 2 months ago

Can you please explain this in simple words to someone not knowing too much about how gender is 'performative' ?

I'm not a native speaker but I'm usually okay but new things needs to be learned :-)

A link is welcomed too ofc!

[-] Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net 37 points 2 months ago

Stealing the answer because I'm nowhere near as articulate on this matter:

The basic (and simplified) idea is that gender--what we think of as masculine and/or feminine--is performed in the ways we act, speak, dress, move, etc. and doesn't really exist outside of that performance. We learn how to perform this way from dominant culture and conventions--what someone might (incorrectly) call "normal male" or "normal female" behavior. But these "normal" qualities (and genders themselves) don't actually exist--rather, we are all repeatedly mimicking them and are rewarded for doing so (or punished for not doing so). We merely impersonate the qualities we've been taught match the gender we've been told we possess (like females being demure or males being aggressive) until those impersonations (and gender itself) become belief and seen as something natural and assumed.

https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/4dddcq/eli5butlers_gender_performativity/

[-] Valmond@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Thank you very much!

Very simple to understand too IMO.

[-] RupeThereItIs@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

So, in a nutshell, the assertion is that gender is entirely nurture and not nature.

Yeah, sorry, that is an extraordinary assertion and I'm going to need extraordinary proof.

Are there people for whom gender and sex don't neatly match up, or even those for whom it is purely performative, sure.

But they are statistical outliers, and not representative of the majority experience.

People can be different then the statistical norm, and that's ok, but to assert that this norm is entirely cultural is over the top self serving.

[-] frezik@midwest.social 12 points 2 months ago

There are clearly things that fall under physical differences. People with penises will always find it easy to stand up while peeing, and that affects how bathrooms are arranged. These things fall under their sex.

There are clearly other things that don't fall under those physical differences. Men can have long hair styles, but western culture doesn't usually go that way. That hasn't always been true, it's more common now than it was in the 1950s, and other cultures make entirely different choices for hairstyles between men and women. These things fall under gender.

Which means gender is performative by definition. You fall into society's rules for gender, or you deliberately break them, but it's never something encoded in DNA or anything. If it is, then it's sex, not gender.

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[-] Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

My understanding (and it could be incorrect) is that this is more of a definitional/philosophical thing.

Though you are more than welcome to read directly from the source Judith Butler who (to my understanding) first started this theory on gender:

https://www.amherst.edu/system/files/media/1650/butler_performative_acts.pdf

[-] Objection@lemmy.ml 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Gender is definitionally cultural. A person's sex is nature, but the bundle of signifiers that denote gender (as well as which categories exist at all) are largely arbitrary and divorced from that, and vary greatly across time and place. Women wearing pants was unheard of a century or so ago, and would 100% be perceived as queer, nowadays it's completely normal. There were times when dueling was a virtually mandatory rite of passage to being considered a man. There are also historical cultures with more than two genders, and it's not as if people in those cultures were biologically different from others.

There's nothing "extraordinary" about this claim.

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[-] blindbunny@lemmy.ml 28 points 2 months ago

I literally had a moment today where I had to explain to a coworker that some feminine presenting women can have xy chromosomes or swyer syndrome. That apparently jenga towered his cis male beliefs on gender.

[-] herinaceus@sh.itjust.works 25 points 2 months ago

This is my first downdoot on a blahaj post post, or probably meme in general... I get it's mostly just a joke, but still.

Cis people aren't all fucked in the head or clueless, just like trans people aren't. Allies are able to push for, or at least support trans rights, and unfortunately are a lifeline for trans folk that get shoved out of discussions for "bias."

The "cis bad" memes just add to the lack of understanding, and force and "us vs them" mentality, based only on gender expression. It's not even an optics thing... It just comes off as wanting to be a victim, before Mr Chadson or Ms Becky have been transphobic, or pushed for a bathroom bill, which almost demands a defensive attidude from them both.

Anyways, I have talked with people that are painfully unaware of how gender works/exists. Whether intentional or not, it is not a great time. I would dip out of the interaction ASAP, unless they are trying to understand or learn, which is kind of rare in most cases.

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[-] CEbbinghaus@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago

The real problem is that studying human behaviour when it comes to gender/sex is inherently flawed as any attempts to isolate nature & nurture would be inhumane. Imagine raising a baby from birth to adulthood never having interacted with another human being just to see whether they portray the behaviours we associate with their gender / sex.

My personal opinion is that it's probably a little of column A, & a little of column B. The higher levels of testosterone in the male sex would naturally lead to higher levels of aggressiveness. But the extent to which that would impact our daily behaviours is a huge unknown. Presumably it accounts for enough to be measurable but not enough to make a difference. But who knows.

P.s If you know more about this than me and have a study that disagrees with me please post it. Haven't done my research as this isn't something I think about day to day.

[-] Quadrexium@sopuli.xyz 15 points 2 months ago

I think someone in the 1900s tried isolating a baby from human contact and it just died of stress.

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[-] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 months ago

The more I look into genders and try to understand it the less I understand. On the gender wiki (apparently gender is so complex it has its own wiki??) I was reading about 'genderfae' and 'genderfoe' kinda understanding it, kinda not. But when I got to the comments and I saw "gender ≠ pronouns" in the comments and I just gave up trying to understand anything 😭
I'm sure I'll look into it more at some point but for a '3am browsing Wikipedia because I can't sleep™️' adventure I did not have the critical thinking for that level of thought

[-] Catoblepas 11 points 2 months ago

FWIW I would consider regular Wikipedia a much better source to learn about transgender 101 topics, the stuff you’re talking about is really niche even within the trans community, haha

[-] Jumi@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

When someone tells me their gender I nod and move on. I neither really care nor do I care to understand it.

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this post was submitted on 28 Dec 2024
651 points (100.0% liked)

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