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submitted 2 months ago by jeffw@lemmy.world to c/world@lemmy.world
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[-] Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works 270 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Step 1: offer sanctuary

Step 2: offer citizenship

Step 3: conscript

[-] Railing5132@lemmy.world 108 points 2 months ago

Step 4: get blown ta fuck by a fpv drone

[-] VelvetStorm@lemmy.world 53 points 2 months ago

Step 4 a Ukranian solider will post that shit on the internet

[-] expatriado@lemmy.world 32 points 2 months ago

step 6, sprinkle some sunflower seeds

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[-] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 219 points 2 months ago

Hey, if you and your buddies wanna go, Alex, knock yourselves out. Seriously: get the fuck out of here, because the vast majority of us hate you for being one of the worst calibers of human.

[-] expatriado@lemmy.world 112 points 2 months ago

i heard refusing Putin offers is woke

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[-] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 34 points 2 months ago

Just a moment now - before he's allowed to go let's make sure we get all his money into the hands of gun violence survivors.

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[-] N0body@lemmy.dbzer0.com 132 points 2 months ago

”[Putin’s] new decree blows the lid off the establishment's agenda, letting freedom-loving folks bypass the usual bureaucratic nonsense like language tests or history exams," Jones posted on X. "If you're ready to reject the insane policies of your home countries that push these destructive, anti-human, neoliberal agendas, Russia is rolling out the red carpet!”

Based and fuck off to Russia pilled

[-] kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 122 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

”... bypass the usual bureaucratic nonsense"

Immigration laws? Quotas? Checking that they're not importing the "criminals, drug traffickers, human traffickers and people from insane asylum from those shithole countries"?

"like language tests"

"Speak 'Merican!" "Why should I press 1 for English!?"

"or history exams,"

"They come over here and don't even integrate to our culture, our laws and our history. They want to bring their own culture here and replace us"

I know it never stops, but even still this level of hypocritical entitlement still amazes me. Either way, can't wait for these Leopard Ate My Face posts.

[-] N0body@lemmy.dbzer0.com 54 points 2 months ago

Russia needs meat for the meat grinder. Putin is delaying sourcing his meat from St. Petersburg or Moscow for as long as possible.

[-] jonne@infosec.pub 36 points 2 months ago

I love how the same people that call for tougher immigration laws are clamoring for looser laws in other countries.

You just want to go to Russia and live there without ever bothering to learn Russian? And you're not expecting any resentment to grow against those immigrants that just come and don't adjust?

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[-] zv0n@lemmy.ml 125 points 2 months ago

"This new decree blows the lid off the establishment's agenda, letting freedom-loving folks bypass the usual bureaucratic nonsense like language tests or history exams"

This coming from the "LEARN ENGLISH, YOU'RE IN AMERICA!" crowd

[-] EdanGrey@sh.itjust.works 30 points 2 months ago

"freedom loving", yes Russia sounds like the best place to go .....

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[-] NutWrench@lemmy.world 122 points 2 months ago

1980's conservatives: "Why don't you move to Russia if you don't like it here?"

2020's conservatives: "Why don't we move to Russia if we don't like it here?"

[-] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 29 points 2 months ago

In the 1920s, a brash group of young and ideologically committed Americans saw the Bolshevik Revolution taking place in Russia and decided to travel halfway around the world in order to join it.

In the 2020s, a boorish group of over-the-hill talk radio hosts and their most die-hard hangers on are witnessing the last dregs of humanity squeezed out of the failed revolutionary experiment and have decided "Damn, now is definitely the time to pop over and go golfing."

I wonder what the Russian police will say the first time they see Alex Jones light up a fat blunt?

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[-] Red_October@lemmy.world 120 points 2 months ago

I hope they all agree and go in one big wave, because otherwise stories of the early adopters being conscripted to die in Ukraine might dissuade the rest of them.

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[-] RegalPotoo@lemmy.world 93 points 2 months ago

... Wasn't there a story a few months ago about a family that had done exactly that and turns out living in Russia kinda sucks?

[-] mosiacmango@lemm.ee 143 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Haha, yes. They were home schooling, antivaxxers who sold a fully owned farm in Canada because of "the gays," then hoped a plan to russia with their 8 kids.

Of course, Russia froze all their funds, forced them all to get vaccinated, then refused go process their visas for months, while they had to live in a one bedroom with a broken sink. The husband posted a video talking about how they missed their washing machine.

The wife then posted a video about how she hated Russian bureaucracy, which they pulled down quickly. Suddenly, they are talking about howm much they love Russia, how its great that they can't access their money.

Now, months later they find out that they need to speak fluent Russian to become citizens, and that it can take years after that. They also can't own more than 49% of a farm without being citizens, so they found a russian to own the 51%.

So after all this, they are going to build a house and a barn and raise farm animals, all for some guy they met to actually own, all while not speaking the language and being utterly dependent on strangers.

Man, that fully owned farmed farm in canada where they were utterly independent and had free healthcare sure sounds like shit in comparison.

[-] catloaf@lemm.ee 68 points 2 months ago
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[-] zcd@lemmy.ca 53 points 2 months ago
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[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 92 points 2 months ago

Please, take him up on that offer. please!

[-] kent_eh@lemmy.ca 29 points 2 months ago

Preferably before November.

[-] ours@lemmy.world 82 points 2 months ago

They can all go and make their own new Russian town. They could call it Jonesgrad or perhaps Jonestown to keep it closer to their American roots.

Don't forget to pack up some FlavorAid for those scorching Russian summers.

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[-] Roflmasterbigpimp@lemmy.world 75 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Bruh. They get drafted straight into the meatgrinder.

[-] PrincessLeiasCat@sh.itjust.works 72 points 2 months ago

And nothing of value was lost.

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[-] renrenPDX@lemmy.world 74 points 2 months ago

Didn’t a conservative family already try living in Russia recently and found out it wasn’t all like a better version of America?

[-] Sway_Chameleon@lemmy.world 55 points 2 months ago

There was a homophobic family from here in Sasktachewan (the Feenstra's), who sold their family farm and dragged their 8 kids to Russia to escape the "far leftist" and "lgbtq ideology" here in Canada. Guess it didn't work out too well for them since they had their bank accounts frozen (possibly assets seized) and then proceeded to speak ill of Russia (including they don't speak English there) only to have to publicly apologize and eat their words.

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[-] meco03211@lemmy.world 72 points 2 months ago

I hear Kursk is lovely this time of year for Russians.

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[-] MehBlah@lemmy.world 71 points 2 months ago

Please idiots, flee to that hellscape. There you might realize how full of shit you all are.

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[-] zenitsu@sh.itjust.works 65 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Please do take all the conservative brainlets and build a Gilead so we can all watch it crash and burn while you cope about foreign interference.

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[-] Underwaterbob@lemm.ee 56 points 2 months ago

What's the opposite of brain drain?

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[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 53 points 2 months ago

I’d be soooooo triggered if they accepted. And remember, the US is the only country that taxes citizens on foreign earnings. So you’ll have to renounce your citizenship

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[-] ccunning@lemmy.world 51 points 2 months ago

Don’t forget to renounce your citizenship so you ~~can’t come back~~ don’t have to pay taxes…

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[-] charonn0@startrek.website 50 points 2 months ago
[-] aesthelete@lemmy.world 46 points 2 months ago

the Foreign Ministry is gearing up to issue visas to true patriots as soon as September! It's time to stand up for spiritual and moral values!

My God these people are fucking idiots.

True patriots leave their country for Russia, and to flee your country is to "stand up for spiritual and moral values". /s

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[-] AbidanYre@lemmy.world 46 points 2 months ago

The traditional value of fertilizing sunflowers in Ukraine?

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[-] dumbass@leminal.space 41 points 2 months ago

But dont they hate immigrants?

[-] hungryphrog 45 points 2 months ago

You silly, "immigrant" is an euphemism for POC and non-christians.

[-] Hacksaw@lemmy.ca 30 points 2 months ago

Yeah, everyone knows that when white people do it they're "expats"!

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[-] Ep1cFac3pa1m@lemmy.world 40 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Is there a GoFundMe to which I can donate to help with relocation costs?

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[-] Silentiea 38 points 2 months ago

Putin puts out call for Americans to conscript and fight in Ukraine?

[-] zarkanian@sh.itjust.works 36 points 2 months ago

That last comment is really sad, because it sounds like schizophrenia.

"Good, if those still wishing to make satanic hand gestures and hidden eye symbols keep doing it and don’t stop Alex Jones I might just do that," added X user Robin Cope.

[-] cultsuperstar@lemmy.world 36 points 2 months ago

I can see it now, they go to Russia and expect all Russians to speak English.

Russia: You're in Russia! Speak Russian! You don't like it, go back to where you came from! Conservatives: How dare you!

[-] Saledovil@sh.itjust.works 36 points 2 months ago

And then they went to Russia, where they were send to Ukraine, where they were turned into fertilizer by the shells their tax dollars got for Ukraine.

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[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 34 points 2 months ago

Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

[-] RBWells@lemmy.world 30 points 2 months ago

Oh yes please! Move to Russia. Can easily keep denying climate change and live in the authoritarian system they prefer. Let all these guys move there, they can make up for all the men Putin killed in his stupid war with Ukraine.

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this post was submitted on 20 Aug 2024
800 points (100.0% liked)

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