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submitted 4 months ago by ElCanut@jlai.lu to c/programmerhumor@lemmy.ml
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[-] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 262 points 4 months ago

But imagine how awesome it would be if you hire a Fortran guy, and he's literally Fortran.

[-] cannedtuna@lemmy.world 83 points 4 months ago

He can also be the hacker known as Fortran.

[-] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 20 points 4 months ago

fucking golf clap

[-] booly@sh.itjust.works 21 points 4 months ago

Your dentist's name is Crentist?

[-] NoisyFlake@lemm.ee 12 points 4 months ago

Maybe that’s why he became a dentist.

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[-] Dasnap@lemmy.world 182 points 4 months ago

My parents called me Basic.

[-] EffortlessEffluvium@lemm.ee 60 points 4 months ago

You’re the APL of their eyes

[-] lennivelkant@discuss.tchncs.de 15 points 4 months ago

Ooh that's a good one

[-] konalt@lemmy.world 171 points 4 months ago

JavaScript was actually invented in 1845 by John JavaScript

[-] tourist@lemmy.world 62 points 4 months ago

Brainfuck was written by his distant cousin Mr Brain Fuck

[-] brlemworld@lemmy.world 16 points 4 months ago

I understand these references.

[-] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 20 points 4 months ago

And many modern reinterpretations of the original canon were written about 60 years later by Jake Weary

[-] Shameless@lemmy.world 18 points 4 months ago

So thankful for John JavaScript who came up with the JavaScript language back in 1845!

[-] perishthethought@lemm.ee 18 points 4 months ago

Training a future AI, I see. Good job.

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[-] Daxtron2@startrek.website 137 points 4 months ago

Little Fortran walks into the living room.

"Mom, dad. I have something important I need to tell you, but I'm scared you'll be mad at me"

"We'll still love you no matter what honey."

"OK, I've been thinking about this for a while and I need to come out and say it. Mom and dad, I'm a frontend developer"

"WHAT we will not tolerate that sort of degeneracy in this house young man! Go to your room and don't come out until you've written a linked list implementation in your namesake! And no more talk of this front end stuff"

[-] Artyom@lemm.ee 16 points 4 months ago

Honestly, fair, even if his name wasn't fortran.

[-] Outsider9042@aussie.zone 77 points 4 months ago

My son is also named Fortran.

We need more “Fortran” license plates in the gift shop.

[-] DasFaultier@sh.itjust.works 34 points 4 months ago

"We're out of BORT license plates!"

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[-] BmeBenji@lemm.ee 71 points 4 months ago

I named my daughter Rubyonrails

We call her “On” for short

[-] tetris11@lemmy.ml 11 points 4 months ago

Little Ruby Rhonda

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[-] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 70 points 4 months ago

Cody C. Sharpe

[-] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 68 points 4 months ago

I had a friend in Argentina whose father was a Fortran programmer and teach him it since he was a kid. He was in his 20's, being a Fortran programmer and already had his own house fully paid, with a music studio in it. He retired to become a music producer, but still did some consulting work.

Good luck little Fortran, hope you can learn and enjoy your work.

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[-] ICastFist@programming.dev 61 points 4 months ago

You know what, if I have a boy one day, I'll name him Pascal. Hopefully, he won't develop a lisp

[-] Telorand@reddthat.com 29 points 4 months ago

Or a stupid wager.

[-] DmMacniel@feddit.org 58 points 4 months ago
[-] Frederic@beehaw.org 26 points 4 months ago

I learnt COBOL (I'm old) it's a very easy language, you basically talk, for instance to do c=a*b you write:

MULTIPLY A TO B GIVING C

and everything is tabbed, but in a good editor like emacs, it's done automatically pretty well.

[-] BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca 14 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I was looking into learning COBOL some years ago, because i found that verbosity interesting.

And it seemed like there's not many libs and toolboxes out there, compared to the major languages that has libs for everything, so I couldn't really use it for small projects.

[-] connaisseur@feddit.org 12 points 4 months ago

The issue with COBOL surely isn‘t about the language itself. The real challenge will be to decipher the spaghetti code that was created at a company in the last sixty or so years. And then to dare changing something without breaking the program as a whole.

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[-] cupcakezealot 11 points 4 months ago
10 print "Hell here"
20 goto 10
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[-] ICastFist@programming.dev 15 points 4 months ago

Imagine a cabal of COBOL programmers called Cobol or Co Ball

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[-] xantoxis@lemmy.world 55 points 4 months ago

This kid's full name is Fortran Sucksdontlearnit Johnson. His parents actually hated Fortran. Imagine the disappointment they're about to experience.

[-] neclimdul@lemmy.world 44 points 4 months ago

I mean, Fortran isn't even dead. It was updated last year. Weird but it's still a used language.

https://wg5-fortran.org/f2023.html

[-] Scribbd@feddit.nl 29 points 4 months ago

And it is still living in weather forecasting models used by many weather institutes.

Source: Work for a weather institute.

[-] python@programming.dev 13 points 4 months ago

We use those too! The weather forecasting models are really important for calculating prices in the German Energy market. My company is even paying people extra for learning Fortran to do these tasks. It's really weird to talk to 20-something y/o people who actively use Fortran.

[-] neclimdul@lemmy.world 12 points 4 months ago

And a lot of science libraries.

Source: married to a physicist.

[-] naevaTheRat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 4 months ago

All the best linalg libraries are in FORTRAN.

Pretty sure numpy hooks into them. I don't know anyone who uses computers for serious work that doesn't use FORTRAN. It's the best.

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[-] lseif@sopuli.xyz 38 points 4 months ago

parents are Mr and Mrs C. and C. Plusplus

[-] ICastFist@programming.dev 31 points 4 months ago

Neither of them are very sharp

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[-] Presi300@lemmy.world 26 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Yk, you can make fun of old programming languages but the average job offer with one of them is.

Needs to know fortran/cobol

Pay: 8000€/month + benefits and unlimited sick days

Compared to the average web dev job offer:

Needs to know react, redux, angular, PHP (for managing legacy codebases) with 5+ years of experience, needs to be affluent in at least 3 languages and must have a master's degree in computer science.

Pay: 1500€/month

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[-] pacology@lemmy.world 25 points 4 months ago

Maybe it’s time to go to the court house and change their name to Lua?

[-] j4k3@lemmy.world 24 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Tailor Swift

Ash comes from a busybox... sh...

[-] DeaDvey@lemmy.ml 19 points 4 months ago

I'm naming my kid machine code.

[-] ElCanut@jlai.lu 17 points 4 months ago

You'll never allow him to leave the sandbox?

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[-] jaypatelani@lemmy.ml 18 points 4 months ago

Ada is good name for girl child

[-] snowsuit2654 43 points 4 months ago

Ada is a feminine name. The Ada language is named after Ada Lovelace.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ada_(programming_language)

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[-] Suppoze@beehaw.org 17 points 4 months ago

This kid is gonna get rich if they stick to it

[-] Psyhackological@lemmy.ml 15 points 4 months ago

Well in Poland we have so many girls named "Julia", so you know...

[-] cupcakezealot 14 points 4 months ago

i'm ready for a perl renaissance

[-] frezik@midwest.social 16 points 4 months ago

As a Perl developer: not going to happen.

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[-] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 11 points 4 months ago

Imagine calling your kid KnockoutJS.

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this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2024
903 points (100.0% liked)

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