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How's your week been?
(self.trans)
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this post was submitted on 31 Mar 2024
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It was a somewhat stressful week. Second busiest week of the year church-wise and I'm exhausted from that. Been trying to juggle a bunch of different stuff.
Had Easter dinner with my mom, grandparents, and one other person. Didn't wanna be there because I was tired and hate having to sit still for so long. Got misgendered and dead named all the while which made me feel worse. For my grandparents I don't bother because they're very old and it's hard to change at that age, but my mom knows better and I've told her so many times and she still does this shit. She's also been saying weird TERFy shit lately. I hate getting misgendered, especially by someone who knows better. It hurts like hell. I put so much effort into passing and it's like no matter how hard I try she won't try. She always claims she's a supportive parent and she's done so much for me but the thing I need most from her right now she acts like she's incapable of doing it. I hate how she acts like she's some woke liberal ally around other liberals, and then comes home and won't even acknowledge me as her son. She's outed me to different people so many times that I can't even keep count anymore.
But the weather's been nice and I've been out taking lots of pictures of the flowers and scenery. My aunt's paying me to take care of her dogs while she's away, so once she comes back I'm gonna use the money to buy a bass guitar and start learning 👀
I picked up the bass guitar last year, this really helped me learn how to play: https://www.bassbuzz.com/
I'm sorry to hear about your mom, that is frustrating. I don't know what your relationship is like with her, but it sounds like some basic boundary setting might be needed. She shouldn't be outing you or misgendering you.
Thanks a bunch for that link. Looks like a good resource. I was having trouble finding some. I'm very excited to start!
Yeah, frustrating is a good way to describe it. She crosses boundaries that I set all the time. I love her, but it really hurts me. Luckily, I'm moving out in September so it won't be as constant of a problem.
Yes! It's a lot of fun to play. I think I learned about BassBuzz from searching for videos on youtube to help me learn. His videos were pretty decent, and there seemed to be community consensus that his course was useful and effective. I'm more than 3/4 of the way through the course now and in retrospect I'm extremely glad I tried it (I was quite averse to spending money on it, but when compared to paying for a tutor or lessons it seems like a rational choice). The course is basically just a series of videos. Each lesson has usually a video teaching a new song, then there are three practice sessions where you start off with a slow and easy tempo and gradually work up to full tempo. The lessons also incorporate music education but the bar is kept really low so that you could always move forward in the course without learning the music theory or how to read sheet music, etc.
I think a common experience with the course is that it is so well laid out that it can be deceptively easy, then it's almost a surprise when you hit a song and it takes a lot more practice to be able to play at full tempo. I would just say don't worry how long it takes, and to be easy on yourself. I have noticed that when practicing a difficult new song no matter how much I try I might not get it on that first day, but literally just sleeping the next morning I'm able to play the song. Sometimes it just takes a bit for the brain and muscle memory to sink in, so patience as well as diligence is importance. It's also super rewarding when you are finally able to play that difficult song that took so much practice to learn. 😁
Bass aside, cheers on moving out - it can be risky to really press boundaries with parents while you still depend on them or live under their roof. Having independence is a good first step to repairing relationships. I wish you luck, but it sounds like you're well on your way.