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created a community for harmreduction purposes
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this post was submitted on 03 Mar 2024
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Trevor Project: crisis mental health services for LGBTQ people, lots of helpful information and resources: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/
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[GERMANY] Deutsche Gesellschaft für Transidentität und Intersexualität: They have contact information for their advice centers and some general information for trans and intersex people. They also do activism: dgti.org
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The thing is, I love my therapist, but we are at the phase where I am supposed to like, go socialize. Just do it. Like flipping a magic switch. But I went nowhere and could hardly stay awake the past 3 days, despite antianxiety and antidepressant meds. When they work, it's great, when they don't, it's hell. I'm in hell rn. Under a mountain of accumulating shit.
I have never been able to figure this out in 40 years. And rather than dwelling on that, and my probable future (bleak), I kinda just want a distraction tbh.
I had that same issue. My therapist wanted me to go socialize and for months I couldn't do it. I got increasingly depressed and eventually couldn't deal with it anymore and I said fuck this, I'm tired of feeling this way. So I decided that I was going to socialize in the next opportunity I got.
Idk if this happens to you, but when I'm depressed I become extremely nihilistic and that gives me a huge confidence boost. It puts me in a mindset where I feel like nothing matters, and that also temporarily gets rid of my insecurities. I would go and talk to people while in this state and I was a bit awkward at first, but eventually I got the hang of it, and I've built up a lot of confidence by doing that.
I think one of the big things for me is that for a long time I've always wanted to feel in control. Anxiety is caused by the fear of the unknown and being in control eliminates the unknown. The thing is though, you're never really going to be in control. Accepting that I am not in control and just letting go has helped me significantly. Now I feel like I'm just along for the ride that the universe is taking me on and life's been a lot more enjoyable since I made that realization.
Oh wow, no I don't get a confidence boost from depression, really it's the opposite. I start to eat away at myself, criticizing where I am, what I'm doing, who I am, etc. It's a bad cycle.
All the nihilism with none of the perks I guess lol
This part resonates the most with me. I absolutely "need" to be in control. That's part of why I always avoided drugs, even alcohol. Why I spend so much time thinking before acting. Maybe part of why I avoid people. Meeting my partner introduced a lot of spontaneity in my life, after all they are a major influence that I can't control. I started to relax my expectations, I'm not quite carefree or "along for the ride" just yet, but more flexible than I was.