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how do you know? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by Gebruikersnaam@lemmy.ml to c/mtf
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I'm not sure whether this is the right place for this question, but... How do you know?

Like, I would 100% be a woman if I could choose. I also always play a female character in games. When I see a girl I feel a strong sexual attraction, but I also feel jealous of her.

But, I'm honestly not sure if I am not cisgendered. I feel like I missed the boat. I also don't know if I am sure enough. Is this impostor syndrome? How do I know it's not just sexual attraction? Or me being unhappy with the role men have in this world? Or me being depressed otherwise? It all seems like a big tangled mess.

Thanks a lot for all the comments. I made an appointment with my GP next week and hope that he can refer me to a therapist. All the best to you all <3

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[-] ada 18 points 1 year ago

In my case, my therapist has voiced a tentative opinion that, what at first felt to me to be a desire to be a woman, has been me conflating my own identity with my unrestrained sexual desires and fetishes

This is a huge red flag. That right there is straight from anti trans conversion therapy tactics.

A therapist should not be telling you who you are or who you aren't, they should be helping you find yourself. And that there is not helping you find yourself, it's taking someone struggling to find themselves and then pushing them in a certain direction.

If you are trans, all you will get from following that path is pain and anguish, because nothing will ever feel right about pretending you're not.

If I were you, I would ask your therapist something like this. Now that you've explored the possibility that you're not trans, and what that might mean, and how you arrived there, how about you explore the possibility that you might be trans, and see where that exploration leads you.

If they push back, and refuse to consider anything like that as an option, or if they allow it, but start loading the conversation with negative stereotypes about being trans and comparing it to a fetish, then you need to get away from that therapist for your own well being.

You might be trans, you might not be, but you need to find a therapist who is open to helping you find that answer, not a therapist that thinks they already have the answer and is trying to push you down that path. Make sure therapist is the former, not the latter.

this post was submitted on 25 Sep 2023
88 points (100.0% liked)

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