130
rule
(blahaj.zone)
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2026
130 points (100.0% liked)
196
6713 readers
1519 users here now
Community Rules
You must post before you leave
Be nice. Assume others have good intent (within reason).
Block or ignore posts, comments, and users that irritate you in some way rather than engaging. Report if they are actually breaking community rules.
Use content warnings and/or mark as NSFW when appropriate. Most posts with content warnings likely need to be marked NSFW.
Most 196 posts are memes, shitposts, cute images, or even just recent things that happened, etc. There is no real theme, but try to avoid posts that are very inflammatory, offensive, very low quality, or very "off topic".
Bigotry is not allowed, this includes (but is not limited to): Homophobia, Transphobia, Racism, Sexism, Abelism, Classism, or discrimination based on things like Ethnicity, Nationality, Language, or Religion.
Avoid shilling for corporations, posting advertisements, or promoting exploitation of workers.
Proselytization, support, or defense of authoritarianism is not welcome. This includes but is not limited to: imperialism, nationalism, genocide denial, ethnic or racial supremacy, fascism, Nazism, Marxism-Leninism, Maoism, etc.
Avoid AI generated content.
Avoid misinformation.
Avoid incomprehensible posts.
No threats or personal attacks.
No spam.
Moderator Guidelines
Moderator Guidelines
- Don’t be mean to users. Be gentle or neutral.
- Most moderator actions which have a modlog message should include your username.
- When in doubt about whether or not a user is problematic, send them a DM.
- Don’t waste time debating/arguing with problematic users.
- Assume the best, but don’t tolerate sealioning/just asking questions/concern trolling.
- Ask another mod to take over cases you struggle with, if you get tired, or when things get personal.
- Ask the other mods for advice when things get complicated.
- Share everything you do in the mod matrix, both so several mods aren't unknowingly handling the same issues, but also so you can receive feedback on what you intend to do.
- Don't rush mod actions. If a case doesn't need to be handled right away, consider taking a short break before getting to it. This is to say, cool down and make room for feedback.
- Don’t perform too much moderation in the comments, except if you want a verdict to be public or to ask people to dial a convo down/stop. Single comment warnings are okay.
- Send users concise DMs about verdicts about them, such as bans etc, except in cases where it is clear we don’t want them at all, such as obvious transphobes. No need to notify someone they haven’t been banned of course.
- Explain to a user why their behavior is problematic and how it is distressing others rather than engage with whatever they are saying. Ask them to avoid this in the future and send them packing if they do not comply.
- First warn users, then temp ban them, then finally perma ban them when they break the rules or act inappropriately. Skip steps if necessary.
- Use neutral statements like “this statement can be considered transphobic” rather than “you are being transphobic”.
- No large decisions or actions without community input (polls or meta posts f.ex.).
- Large internal decisions (such as ousting a mod) might require a vote, needing more than 50% of the votes to pass. Also consider asking the community for feedback.
- Remember you are a voluntary moderator. You don’t get paid. Take a break when you need one. Perhaps ask another moderator to step in if necessary.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
i'm fine with yap. and i get you.
i got it without a diagnosis or a test by just talking it out with a local doctor who prescribed some stuff "just to see if it would help" and it did. it's not perfect, i still get episodes, but i can get out of them myself now. i was worried that i would... lose myself, but what actually went away was some of the time that i just spend dissociating or procrastinating. i got more of me. but it makes sense that hrt would have a similar effect, as the stuff i got is also hormonal.
hugboxes are good sometimes because it makes you realise that just because you can doesn't mean you have to. while it's true that nobody but you controls your brain chemicals, being told that while full of bad brain chemicals is how you get a spiral going. and that's when a hugbox comes in handy.
i have been actively working on not being my own worst critic for years at this point. i used to beat myself up over every little mistake, punish myself when i failed at tasks, and go into hiding when people disagreed with me online. being an overachiever with bad motor skills and bad braining skills is a shitshow. so i went into some sort of half-burnout coasting phase. and i used that to think to myself what the point was when the only one who cares is me. it took a long time to get out of that mindset and there are still remnants of it (no real sense of self, defining yourself by what you don't like...) but i've made progress.
that's why it's so annoying that the lying thing works. if you're stuck in a well and people are lowering a bucket, thinking "that bucket isn't for me, it's for fetching water", then you're going to continue being stuck. but if you think "maybe it is for me", then you eventually get out.
...that's the dumbest metaphor i've ever written, i think.
hmmm nono thats a fun metaphor, i can see it.
thank you for writing this. i... hope that you find yourself at some point. am not quite sure how to respond to this...
you don't have to :)