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Butch transfemmes: how is your butchness similar and different to that of our non-transfemme butch siblings? (quokk.au)
submitted 1 day ago by PurpleFanatic@quokk.au to c/mtf
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I'm a butch transbian. I've been thinking a lot lately about my butch identity, and how my experiences with butchness overlaps and maybe differs in some areas to my non-transfemme butch siblings. For example:

  • We've likely grown up with very different bodies and genitals, and that has impacted our relationship to our butchness
  • Our struggle with presenting butch in a way that doesn't get us misgendered or give us dysphoria
  • Dealing with the pressure from outside transfemme circles and inside to present more feminine
  • Feeling like a fraud in lesbian spaces, because I feel like I'm dressing like a "man", despite knowing that butch identity is a whole separate thing.
  • Fearing exclusion from cis lesbians, what if they think im a cis dude creeping around?
  • The lack of representation for butchness in transfemmininty
  • How do other butch transfemmes feel about femminine clothing?
  • How do we feel about compliments? Beautiful vs handsome?
  • Feeling tension between wanting to present more feminine in some ways to "escape" the masculinity I was imprisoned by growing up.

I would love to hear about any thoughts and experiences you've got.

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[-] Chubbypunk@troet.cafe 2 points 1 day ago

@strawberry_enjoyer42

Okay. Thanks - i understand now, where the mistake comes probably from.

As I said before- I‘m not native english-speaking.

In my area „femme“ seems to be used mor as opposite of „butch“. So i don‘t know „transfemme“ this way - it was always „transwoman“, sometimes „transgirl“, never „transfemme“.

Sorry for this.

[-] strawberry_enjoyer42 2 points 1 day ago

No need to appologise! You had no ill intention.

"Femme" and "butch" are opposites (though, some people consider themselves to be both—sometimes they use the term "futch"). However, "transfemme" (from my understanding) is actually a variant of "transfem".

The term "transfem" is used by trans girls/women, but also non-binary people who are transitioning toward being female. Basically, "transfem" means someone AMAB, who is transitioning to another gender.

this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2026
24 points (100.0% liked)

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