oh, I'm the same as you - I keep forgetting I am not supposed to call myself a lesbian (hard when I'm married to a woman and primarily sapphic, admittedly I think of myself as mostly a lesbian, even if I'm really bi).

I guess I also wasn't thinking about my orientation much because I was bi, it sorta felt incidental to my gender tbh. It's just interesting it was always those probes into my sexuality that caused me discomfort with my gender. Being perceived as a gay man really bothered me because it reified me as a man, which felt wrong, and so maybe that's why my sense of being a gay woman was bubbling up in those moments.