Trans people do not, under any circumstances, gatekeep when you feel like a "real woman" because bottom surgery is something utterly inaccessible to most.

Sorry, but this is simply wrong. There is a whole section of the community that does exactly that. They are known as transmedicalists. They believe that you have to have dysphoria to be trans, and that you have to badly want GRS, and do everything you can to attain it.

For many many years, fitting this description was the only way to access medical care, as popularised by the Benjamin Standards of care. And whilst many countries have moved away from this, many have not. There are many trans communities and sub communities that absolutely judge trans people who don't need or want GRS, because they're perpetuating the transphobic gatekeeping that they've internalised in to their own self image.

Which is to say, a key part of your suspicion is based on your own lack of exposure to harmful parts of the community, and there is a non zero chance that you're being needlessly cruel to someone expressing their pain and vulnerability.

Yes, it's suspicious that someone with a brand new account appears out of nowhere, and expresses pain and distress at an experience that is uncommon in trans spaces, yet is also perceived as common by transphobes.

But unless you know for certain that you aren't hurting a genuine member of the community with your words, I'm going to ask that you refrain from engaging further.

This is a really, really bad take and it's very cruel, I completely understand why you'd be suspicious, but I think even with those suspicions, you should be erring on the side of caution, on the chance you are wrong, you may have pushed a transgender person closer to suicide by invalidating their experiences.

There is a good deal of transmedicalism out there, and I don't see many signs of OP being a troll at all, they seem like someone nearing the end of their rope to me.

Screw you! if I wanted to have people dismiss my experiences and validity I would go back to the transphobes on Reddit!

Being post-op doesn’t change shit for trans women when it comes to hook ups or even meeting people. Transphobes will do it regardless. Transphobes will see you as a man regardless. Everyone in the trans community is inescapably aware of this. People who are not transphobes will have no issue seeing you as a woman regardless of your equipment.

I've seen comments/posts from stealth trans people talking about keeping it a secret. There was a post recently on one of the comms where they mentioned their hookup partner said her cervix felt weird (because she doesn't have one). I've certainly gotten the idea that such is achievable for some people. My impression is also that snip-snip memes are also far more common than memes celebrating the rejection of bottom surgery. There certainly can be an implied peer pressure, even when people are just talking about their own personal experiences and not implying some universal truth. Unfortunately, imposter syndrome is really common and could lead to overcompensation (such as seen in transfems who have a hyperfeminine phrase right after cracking and transfems who go through a hypermasculine phase right before cracking).

I've never tried taking any of the steps towards getting surgery, but is it really that impossible that Martha didn't at least mostly believe she wanted it during the lead-up? Honestly, I hope they're not as bad as you make it sound. Surgery is scary regardless of what kind, so there's no way I'd ever not express some level of doubt for that reason alone. Also feel like I'd be so embarrassed about the topic that it would be difficult to convey a sense of confidence that its something I wanted.