I hear ya, I had the same fears and wanted to make the transition as smooth as possible.

You'll never know how fast and how your body will change on transition. The best indicators are your siblings and parents, after that niblings, auncles and first cousins.

What I did was start in spring (mostly coincidence, but a good one). That helped because by the time the changes would be more visible, fall was at the door, and so I could hide it with thicker clothes. Dressing in boring neutral fashion also helps.

But otherwise, a binder/sports bra might a possibility. They flatten it a bit. Vice versa I wore shape forms at home, initially, that helped me a lot during dysphoric attacks.

And very true, it'll be better in a while. I feel like that if someone has a doubt of their gender, they should be open and free to explore it (mind the egg prime directive though!).

To those not sure whether to go on HRT or not -- the mental effects come first, physical after. Up to about 3 months it's generally reversible either way, so after that period should be a good indicator for what someone feels they want, whether to continue or not, it's all valid.

The calming effect is such a big thing! Previously I'd feel distracted by the sex drive a ton, but now that's much less the case. It's as if instead of my body parts thinking for me, I'm deciding that for them. Back in control!

I've never had DMT. Weed though... I think aside from the strange laughter if it's too strong, it's likewise more relaxing, but that's on me, I guess.

I had that impostor thing too. I think it would be less the case if less people were still held back in old mindsets, and more of the mindset of "Do whatever you like, slay. Why should I care if it doesn't harm anybody, when it makes you happy?" I felt liberated from it once I realised I shouldn't look at stereotypically feminine outfits, and more at how cis women generally dress - just like me. Getting on E helped too, though.

I'm not sure whether the near future will be as open, but I am certain that as Sappho put it, "even in another time", we will have our liberation. And to heck - I am going to live my best life and so will you. We should see the general queer community as our friends and vice versa :)

I like your idea about us being normal, ha. But when nobody is normal, everyone is. Screw labels, blåhaj hugging forever.