I saw and was upset by the way trans men are treated in some of the other trans spaces on this platform about a month ago, and it has been making me think about yall a lot. It made me do some introspection about my own experiences, and I realized that trans men were either not present or not visible in the male spaces I (a cis man) was part of growing up. I saw another meme about gender affirming male lonliness, and it hit me with a "bro, you're just like me" kinda vibe.
My conclusion is that like... I want to try to more proactively accept and advocate for trans men. This is somewhat hampered by the fact that ive never known any trans men well, and I dont really know much about your experience. Bluntly, I'm a bit ignorant and I'd like to change that. I've got a few questions that I'll list below, but also like I'd love it if you want to just say hi and chat and tell me about yourself. Anyway, here goes
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Do you engage in or participate in traditional male spaces?
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If yes to 1, are you open about being trans in these spaces? Do you feel excluded or discriminated against in these spaces due to being trans?
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If no to 1, do you want to be part of these spaces?
Finally, I want to apologize if this post is offensive. I promise that is not my intent, and if i am being offensive it is purely out of ignorance. If you do find me offensive, I would hugely appreciate if you explained how and why I am being offensive so I can try to learn from it and do better in the future
Nah, not at all, some trans men do identify as femboys or even twinks. Personally I don't get too into specific labels like that but I don't care if others see me that way. It can actually be the opposite of dysphoric, because the transphobic types will assume I'm a man who's trying to be femme or transitioning to a woman and emphatically call me sir like to remind me I'm a man, lol.
Sometimes openly, yeah, I've had a coworker ask me if I was gay after weeks of like clearly wanting to say something. But usually it's more subtle, like in the way some guy in a group will talk to the other guys different from the way I get spoken to, or they share looks between each other like "this fuckin guy, eh." Or they'll joke about how I might need help lifting something because of how lanky I am. I'm obviously the bookish nerdy type not into sports and going to the gym, and I don't have a big build.
In my experience the treatment isn't that bad. It's like any time you're out among people you don't know, people are just polite. Maybe if I was on a sports team or went to the gym a lot it'd be different.