How do you make yourself visible? (self.lesbians)

submitted 2 days ago by dandelion to c/lesbians

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Are there ways that you are able to signal queerness?

People keep assuming my partner and I are two straight women, and it's just awkward sometimes. I know my partner would like if people saw us as a visibly queer couple, so I was hoping for tips.

Usually I try to engage in "PDA" like holding hands or kissing in public, but even that doesn't seem to always work (I have done this and had a waiter still assume we're relatives rather than partners).

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[-] dandelion 6 points 2 days ago

I think primarily the signals are intended for straight strangers, so we don't keep getting mistaken as relatives or friends when going to a restaurant or interacting with various people.

[-] JennyLaFae 1 points 18 hours ago

The problem is other people, not how you're presenting yourselves.

Some people have unconscious biases and will do mental gymnastics against acknowledging LGBT existences. And some people are just conscious bigots trying to ruin your day.

this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2025

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