How do you make yourself visible? (self.lesbians)

submitted 2 days ago by dandelion to c/lesbians

21 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Are there ways that you are able to signal queerness?

People keep assuming my partner and I are two straight women, and it's just awkward sometimes. I know my partner would like if people saw us as a visibly queer couple, so I was hoping for tips.

Usually I try to engage in "PDA" like holding hands or kissing in public, but even that doesn't seem to always work (I have done this and had a waiter still assume we're relatives rather than partners).

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[-] apotheotic@beehaw.org 11 points 2 days ago

Do you want to signal to other queers or everyone? For other queers there's the obvious - carabiners, etc. typical lesbian fare.

For everyone, I would have said being openly affectionate but you already tried that 😅

[-] lwhjp@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 1 day ago

carabiners

TIL! BRB, off to the hardware store...

[-] dandelion 6 points 2 days ago

I think primarily the signals are intended for straight strangers, so we don't keep getting mistaken as relatives or friends when going to a restaurant or interacting with various people.

[-] JennyLaFae 1 points 15 hours ago

The problem is other people, not how you're presenting yourselves.

Some people have unconscious biases and will do mental gymnastics against acknowledging LGBT existences. And some people are just conscious bigots trying to ruin your day.

this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2025

28 points (100.0% liked)

Lesbians

443 readers

3 users here now

A community for lesbians, people whose loved ones are lesbians, people who want information about lesbians, queer people, and allies! Trans lesbians are lesbians and are welcome.

founded 5 months ago

MODERATORS

erotador

TotallynotJessica