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submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by Stamets@lemmy.world to c/whitepeopletwitter@sh.itjust.works

Suck my entire dick. Y'all wrong.

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[-] Stamets@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I hate chocolate. I don't want no fuckin chocolate randomly surprising me. It is evil and should be banished.

Edit: Okay because apparently I need to literally spell this out for people for who cannot make the simple leap on their own...

I do not buy chocolate ice cream. I buy vanilla ice cream. It comes in a cone. It is vanilla. There is vanilla. That's it. Maybe peanuts. Then, suddenly, chocolate.

Does that make more sense now? Jesus H. Christ.

Edit 2: Downvote me all you want. I'm not trolling, y'all are either utterly fucking incapable of understanding the concept of VANILLA ICE-CREAM, y'all are trolling or you're living on such a distant plane of reality that you're inventing shit that I've done then your opinion is worthless to begin with.

Have fun with the single brain cell amongst all of you and let me know whose turn it is tomorrow.

[-] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 55 points 2 days ago

buys chocolate ice-cream

looks inside

chocolate

[-] Stamets@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Buys chocolate ice-cream

Kind of a crazy assumption on your part that the dude who just finished saying he hates chocolate is buying chocolate ice cream. Like... how the fuck did you get to that conclusion?

No dude. I buy vanilla ice cream. Vanilla ice cream that has peanuts on top and is in a cone. No chocolate except for the random plug of chocolate. I'm sorry. It's totally on me for assuming that the logical leap between "Hate chocolate" and "not buying chocolate ice cream" was such an easy one. I will take greater care in future.

[-] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 29 points 2 days ago

how did you get to that conclusion

this is the box that ice cream comes in

There are tons of similar products, and every one I've seen has chocolate on the top, including this one (oreos are chocolate).

[-] Morlark@feddit.uk 14 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

The inside of the cone is coated in chocolate to prevent it from getting soggy from all the melted icecream. It tends to pool at the bottom because that's how gravity works.

There is no "random" plug of chocolate. It's an inherent function of the product. No matter what the flavour of icecream is, the cone itself is inherently a chocolate product.

So yes, you are, in fact, knowingly purchasing chocolate products, as evidenced by the fact that you're currently complaining about all the chocolate in these cones that you keep purchasing. If you hate chocolate that much, then maybe just don't buy it?

This is entirely a problem of your own making. And people are correct in pointing out that your responses have been nothing but toxic.

[-] CrazyHorse@lemmy.cafe 9 points 2 days ago

If Cornetto is the best vanilla ice cream you can get, you might have a point. But both you and me know that's not the case!

[-] Aviandelight@mander.xyz 3 points 2 days ago

I'm definitely team chocolate here but now I'm really curious. What else could be used to plug the cone instead of chocolate but still taste good with vanilla ice cream? Has any other company tried something other than chocolate?

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 days ago

Nougat, maybe?

Caramel?

Fudge?

Mac & cheese?

Ham?

Pesto?

Sun-dried tomato?

Fresh clove of garlic?

A floppy of the original Prince of Persia game?

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 days ago

Chocolate fudge exists, yes, but that's far from the only flavor..

It's the only flavor that matters. 😉

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 days ago

Nah, caramel fudge and liquorice fudge are pretty rad too 😁

[-] burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 day ago

Fucking cream with berry liqueur flavors are always on top.

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 day ago

Never tried those but DAMN they sound good! 🤤

[-] grue@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Even the vanilla versions of those things have a chocolate shell coating on the top, not just inside the cone. You would've known what it was about way before you got to that last part.

(If that isn't true for the ones you buy, I want to know what weird, obscure brand you're talking about.)


To be fair, though, coating the cone with some other flavor (butterscotch, maybe) could be a neat idea.

[-] brisk@aussie.zone 10 points 2 days ago

Not where I am it doesn't. No idea where OP is

(Still has chocolate on top though)

[-] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 17 points 2 days ago

I'm not following you with the "I hate chocolate". Are you sure you're speaking English?

I can understand being allergic or something, but hating chocolate isn't valid.

[-] skisnow@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 days ago

: blocks OP for insanity

why did three quarters of all posts on Lemmy suddenly disappear?

[-] Kickforce@lemmy.wtf 2 points 1 day ago

The chocolate is part of the charm you infidel. If you don't like it there are other ice cream products that don't have chocolate. Don't ruin our Cornetto.

[-] TheOctonaut@mander.xyz 11 points 2 days ago

Did you commit to this before you knew what a Cornetto was?

[-] nialv7@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

Ok, you bought a Cornetto once and was surprised by chocolate. Surely you learned after the first time and can just stop buying it? Where's this obsession coming from, why can't you move on?

[-] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 days ago

Seems more like you're trying to bring Reddit here, with that kind of trolling.

[-] Stamets@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Trolling

Right. I'm trolling to say that "I don't like random chocolate in the vanilla ice cream cones that I buy."

Jesus Christ. You people are fucking hopeless.

[-] 5in1k@lemmy.zip 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

It’s not a vanilla ice cream cone though. It’s vanilla with chocolate coating. It’s not random, they put it right on front street.

[-] fubbernuckin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 days ago

You can just... Not eat that part. Like nobody's making you.

[-] AlexanderTheDead@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

Take a picture and show us what cones you bought so we can make fun of you more. If you refuse, you'll get made fun of anyway because we will all assume you realized you were in the wrong.

[-] MotoAsh@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

I mean, if it's always there, and you're surprised to find it... maybe it is your braincells that are free roaming...

this post was submitted on 24 Jun 2025
529 points (100.0% liked)

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