For starters, I present femininely because that’s just my base model (afab) and I’m quite literally too poor and too busy working to do all of the modifications I want on my body. I also find the convenience of looking cis does help me get through my tougher work days.

While I appreciate those who know of my identity using the proper pronouns to refer to me, it stings just a tiny bit every time I get misgendered. I get it. I just ‘don’t look the part.’

It feels like I’m at an impasse but I do want to put in the work to look the way I want to. I just need some time and a good mindset to get things started. I just want my body to feel mine again.

i find it funny that i happen to be lgbt but was born in one of the countries that totally hates us. i’m nonbinary [she/he/they] and bi/pan :)

i moved to the us with my family at age 10 in 2013.

Question 1

Hi! I am an AMAB enby living in Edinburgh. I was wondering if, other than the LGBTQ+ society at my university, there was any sort of community/group/Discord server for non-binary people in my area.

Question 2

I was just watching some movies from the 1920s, and I felt some sort of connection. Obviously, things are better nowadays than in the 1920s (apart from the politics), but I was wondering what the non-binary experience would have been like back then, apart from the obvious xenophobia etc etc.

Question 3

I would like to try dressing more femme. I tried a skirt last year, but it was a midi skirt (I think mini would suit me better) and it was far too tight anyway (damn nonstandard sizing). Physiologically, I am shorter than most AMABs in the UK, but otherwise average, and stockier than the average enby. Could anyone give me any advice for skirts and dresses?

Hey fellow enbies!

Does anyone here have experience with binders? Specifically, do they permanently alter the shape of your chest? I like my naked body and view is as gender neutral, but I'd like to be READ as more neutral while wearing clothes sometimes. So I want to bind in a way that won't alter how my naked body looks. What's your experience with that?

Thanks!

I don't want to turn this place into my personal journal, so hopefully this is the last post of its kind that I do here (I do have a general question in mind to also post here though). Although I do wish this place was busier so that people could discuss their journeys without feeling like they're taking over, or feeling too exposed.

On the subject of labels. I am sticking with non-binary now and deciding to make the conscious effort to stop thinking of myself as an imposter or invader, whether I ever actually take any steps towards HRT or not. I feel 99% sure that if all of this stuff was openly discussed and accepted in my country when I was a kid, I would've read the definition of non-binary and been "Yup! That's me!" Just like when I finally read the definition way too late in life. And if that had been the case, I feel like a lot of things in life would've been better and made sense or felt fairer to me.

As far as HRT goes, I am very open to trying, mostly to see how it feels. I feel like as long as I have only ever known having T in charge of things, and have never experienced E driving me, part of me will always feel like an imposter. Reading up on the effects of switching to E, almost all of it sounds beneficial to me. Except for one of the two irreversible effects, breast growth. This is the difference between doing this without needing to explain anything to anyone and publicly coming out. I have seen people report that it starts fairly early. And I already have a kinda prominent chest and reason to believe it would end up being quite hard to hide.

Either way, it's not on the cards soon due to finances, living situation etc. And either way, I would still be non-binary because I am also 99% sure that if I was AFAB but still had the same personality and experience in a binary world, I would've also read the definition of non-binary and been "Yup! That's me!"

So for now, I'm actually happy owning this body and by extension the way society looks at me for a while longer. I'm happy being GNC at most for now. And I'm going to use this time to work on my mind, work on a regular income, work on my general health, work out, and prepare for what the future may bring.

If anyone responds here and I don't respond and / or upvote and stuff right away, it'll be because it's currently 2am here and I've finally fallen asleep. Although I am planning on another joint and cup of coffee.

songs with multigender vibes?

@nonbinary

I'm looking for more music with this theme. Something like "In Or Out" by Ani DiFranco.

Lyrics:

"In Or Out"

guess there's something wrong with me
guess I don't fit in
no one wants to touch it
no one knows where to begin
I've got more than one membership
to more than one club
and I owe my life
to the people that I love

he looks me up and down
like he knows what time it is
like he's got my number
like he thinks it's his
he says,
call me, Miss DiFranco,
if there's anything I can do
I say,
It's Mr. DiFranco to you

somedays the line I walk
turns out to be straight
other days the line tends to
deviate
I've got no criteria for sex or race
I just want to hear your voice
I just want to see your face

she looks me up and down
like she thinks that I'll mature
like she's got my number
like it belongs to her
she says,
call me, Ms. DiFranco
if there's anything I can do
I say, I've got spots
I've got
stripes, too

their eyes are all asking
are you in, or are you out
and I think, oh man,
what is this about?
tonight you can't put me
up on any shelf
'cause I came here alone
I'm gonna leave by myself

I just want to show you
the way that I feel
and when I get tired
you can take the wheel
to me what's more important
is the person that I bring
not just getting to the same restaraunt
and eating the same thing

guess there's something wrong with me
guess I don't fit in
no one wants to touch it
no one knows where to begin
I've more than one membership
to more than one club
and I owe my life to the people that I love

#nonbinary #enby #lgbt #bigender #multigender #genderfluid #trans #androgynous

First I just want to say that I wish this community was busier. There's still major things missing from R*ddit around here on Lemmy. Namely, actual discussion. In all areas, like even the punk subreddit was great for actual discussion and not just dumping links and shit. And as far as gender identity goes, I'm not sure how different my mindset would be right now if it wasn't for the non-binary and genderqueer subs on R*ddit being around and just having other people's stories to read and interact with.

But to the actual post. Not so long ago, I boldly and confidently declared that I'm agender. And I truly felt it at the time. Which honestly has just made it so much more obvious just how many times daily and for how many reasons I wish I was afab. And it can't be exactly true that I'm no gender if this is how things are.

However, I remain under the non-binary umbrella because I know that I will probably never* take steps to change my physical body or even start asking people to address me in a certain way. Not going to even share these thoughts and feelings with family, or even a therapist. And I haven't even been in contact with a lot of my friends for years and in this already religious conservative leaning country that I'm in, I have no doubt that a lot have gone down Joe Rogan looking rabbit holes in the years since. I've even had one old friend catch up out of the blue, which I was quite happy about at first, who then sent me a Jordan Peterson link and I kinda ghosted that conversation and haven't spoken to him since. So I've told exactly one (1) person in my life, a decades long online friend that I've never even met in real life lol.

So based on societal pressures and various other things, not excluding imposter syndrome, I begrudgingly accept my shell despite my inner feelings. I begrudgingly accept being something 'other' or 'in between' and that I will never be either. And anyone that wants to claim that this is some sort of fad is out of their god damned mind. Because it's actually kinda shit. The world is full of "men" and "women" labels on arbitrary, cultural and non-biological shit. And being man shaped but also not only pretty much disgusted with the current state of 'masculinity' but also yearning to be surrounded by things and people with the 'women' label is shit. And I think a double source of guilt and imposter syndrome is being man shaped, feeling this way but also being attracted to women shaped people.

So yeah, it's all fucked up. After a couple of years of this journey and thinking that I had answers, turns out that I still don't really know who I am or where I belong. Or if this state of being just dooms me to be alone and seeking connection in random corners of the internet in a binary world. But it's also all good because actually life has always been this way and I've got this far.

Everyone is different. Some people who are non binary but lean/present as feminine might use feminine words, but others I’ve seen use the masculine because they think modifying the grammar is complicated.

I personally use the gender-neutral modified language, like using elle in Spanish.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/20125127

Found this article on medium while scrolling through some comments in a post here. I recommend you go read the article, it's very insightful. It basically talks about how some cis people are likely Agender due to their lack of an internal sense of gender, or them not ever thinking about gender. I know that this isn't the only experience of being Agender. Agender experiences can be quite varied and different, and not all Agenders will relate to not experiencing or understanding gender, for some it's just a different feeling of gender, or a different type of feeling.

I do know that a lot of Agender people do though which is why I decided to post this here since I feel it could maybe help some people, or maybe just be an interesting article for people to read

Anyway what are your thoughts on this idea? If you have any thoughts or anything you'd like to add please share in the comments.

Hello, I recently just created an Agender community on Lemmy, I'm posting here to hopefully try and promote this community in case there are any Agender people or people curious about Agender who would be interested in checking out this community.

~~The Agender community is at !agender@reddthat.com if you want to check it out, the community is also included as a lemmyverse link in the post.~~

Agender has moved to lemmy.blahaj.zone, find it here !agender@lemmy.blahaj.zone

If this type of promotion isn't okay please let me know and I won't do it again

Hi, shower thought time. Are we wiggly? Do we have an official wiggle, or wiggle style? I like to wiggles enbily, to demonstrate but Idunno if any-enby-critter else wiggles at all, let alone whether we've got a traditional/official/typical style of wiggle 🤔 Also, same question but for everything else. Share your favourite wiggles! Discuss the traditional enby wiggles, trans wiggles, weird wigglycritter wiggles... I'll even accept wriggles as well :3 Maybe wobbles too. Case-by-case, that one.

Late warning: this post is entirely 100% goofness :P

Firstly, buuuuump! hehehehehehehe

Secondly, so, my trip to enbyness has taken a bit of a circuitous route, right? It took ages to realize that, hey, y'know... maybe I don't have to be a guy. I can be a girl! Yaaay! Finally free! So I hatched and be'd a girl for a while (... where did the past decade go, please help me get it back). Well, I kindof always expected I'd end up creeping enby-ward at least a bit but recentlish I got to having some feels and it's been getting to the point where I'm occasionally getting bits of a second dose of that hatchy euphoria. Turns out, I can wear through the gender hangups and start to just be me, right? So, double-yay! Kinda feels like I'm cheating, honestly 😅 Most people only get to hatch zero times, and even lucky trans-critters mostly only get to hatch once. So here I am, delightedly double-dipping discovery, digging into my 'dentity and hoping maybe somecritter around here has a story to share :3 That or I'm just yapping into the void. Even still, maybe I can fan the lingering enbers (harharhar, see what I did there? :D ) of this community!

Also any neat tricks for finding/committing to names/colour schemes/avatars would be nice :3 Actually I should probably just have another poke at making an avatar and just go for it but eep >.<; Triple-eep at making a top-level post 🙀

cross-posted from: https://sopuli.xyz/post/6893472

cross-posted from: https://sopuli.xyz/post/6893359

https://caiquirk.com

My wonderful partner Cai Quirk recently released a new book on themes of finding unique personal narratives for queer people.

In a world that doesn't have many stories for gender-nonconforming individuals to help find themselves, I think their work has potential to help many.

Cai's photography and writing delves deep into our collective connection with nature to pull out new stories from the ever-generative wellspring of life that is all around us.

I adore them and am so proud of this accomplishment, and would ask for you to please support them by purchasing a copy of their book if their work speaks to you!

I hope my enby peeps can help me out here.

I am very interested in exploring a more feminine expression, but my starting point is masc-af physically, so anything too feminine too quick is going to have a very hard contrast and I'm definitely more of an "I don't want to stick out much" kind of person.

Any ideas that may be more androgynous, but not attention grabbing that I can try out? I am not good at picking outfits anyway, so I need all the help I can get.

Like beard and full body hair, so obviously lower cut stuff could be very dysmophic atm.

Maybe something that just feelsmore feminine but may not look it so much. You know? Does this make sense?

Does anyone else feel like binding just makes you more dysphoric? Binding makes me more conscious of my chest, which generates more of the bad thoughts... am I approaching binding wrong?

its my first day on lemmy, this is a truly enby moment

23 year old AMAB. All my life, I've considered myself cisgender, but recently, I've begun questioning that. I'll sometimes see posts like "if a potion/pill/button existed that could turn you into the opposite sex, would you use it?" and think to myself "Yeah, I'd be down to at least try that." I know that doesn't automatically make me trans, but it does make me question.

At the same time, however, I get a lot of euphoria from presenting as a man. When I start questioning my gender, I'll look in the mirror, or at pictures of myself, and think "I look good with this masculine hairstyle", "I like getting dressed up in a suit and tie", or "I want to try growing a beard". And the idea of being a father someday does bring me a lot of joy.

I've done a bit of research already, and based on my experience, I think I've narrowed my possible identities down to two options.

• Cisgender male who is just curious about the female experience
• Demiboy with a secondary identity of female

The thing is that I'm not sure where to go from here. This isn't exactly a problem, since I feel no dysphoria when presenting as a male, so am comfortable living as cis in the meantime. But I would like to figure this out at some point, ideally sooner than later. Do any of you have any suggestions?

Side note: I'm currently living with my parents, and while they're generally nice people, they hold some pretty transphobic views. I do expect to move out sooner than later, but anything that would require a totally safe physical space might have to wait.

It seems to me that anything short of high fem (which isn't really my thing) is interpreted as "man" on me since I'm amab. Does anybody have some suggestions of hairstyles, clothes, accessories, etc that hit that sweet spot in between? I really want to give off queer tomboy energy, but the mirror is disappointing. :/

Title. I go about my day-to-day life as a man still even though I don't entirely feel that way. But then again, how do I feel? It's weird, I really strongly identify with the nb flag; it makes me super happy when I look at it. I want to be like other enbies but it's hard to do so because I feel so stuck in the way I present myself now. I would feel super stupid making a change to myself, you know?

Anyways, I guess I just wanted to use the opportunity of this new site by asking you all for advice. Have you been in this situation before? What should I do? Thanks, love you all. <3

koi

We love representation in this house! Can't truthfully say I've watched all of these series in full, but I still love my little non-binary critters to death, they make me so happy :)

I gutted an old CRTV, replaced the screen with tinted 1-way glass, filled it with foam and a hard hat to be comfy, and spray-painted tf out of it

but maybe the real treasure was the gender we met along the way