This might because I have more confidence in myself now and the act is now being done using the correct parts. I'm just surprised how much my needs have increase because before surgery I was meh to sex.

Hi everyone, a friend of mine is looking for sources on this. Hopefully you can provide some.

So I'm very new to self acceptance on being a woman. Only a week in a half in, but have been contemplating if I were trans for a few months.

My partner is supportive and wonderful but I also know how big of a change this is for her as well. I don't want to move faster than she is comfortable, but also am struggling a lot more with dysphoria since I realized who I am.

I have good days where I explore my femininity and feel a confidence in myself that I've never felt before. It's especially helpful when my wife is right there by my side. Today for example she did my makeup for me. We trimmed my eyebrows, put on foundation and mascara as well as a tinting lip balm. I couldn't stop smiling about how pretty I felt.

Other days I feel more like my old self. Stuck in my shell and shutting down. I didn't realize how dark and depressing my life felt before my acceptance. I feel almost suicidal in those moments because that was generally how I was starting to feel. Just a mountain of shame and guilt over the drastic changes I'm forcing my wife and child to deal with.

I guess I'm wondering how normal it is to feel a shift in my mental image of myself like this? Either I feel like a woman, or something makes me feel like a man and my mood plummets.

Guess I'm just looking for some extra reassurance from others like me. I've only told my therapist and wife and when I'm drowning in guilt, all I want is a hug and reassurance that things will be ok. That I will be ok.

I don't know. This is all so scary sometimes and gives me a pit in my stomach. Do I even have the courage to come out to the world? To risk my life and what I've built with my loved ones to explore this?

Heya, I'm Nen, been on hrt for a little over a year now and made some discoveries about myself along the way.

I didn't expect that I'd be gender fluid, but funnily enough my sister called it and told me they weren't surprised! It's been a little bit of a shock to realize that I don't mind being read as a guy sometimes, I've spent so much time trying to avoid looking like one just to find that I'm rocking my beard with a binder on.

I definitely know that being on estrogen (and now progesterone!) is the best for my mental health, and I definitely lean feminine in presentation overall. I feel more comfortable in my body as well when I feel less restricted by gender labels.

There's a few struggles however. I do find myself presenting the wrong way and only discovering later in retrospect, dysphoria can be different depending on the day (too masculine one day, too feminine the other, or often not androgynous enough). I also struggle with correcting others on my pronouns, but that's another struggle with being a people pleaser and avoiding conflict lmao

Ultimately I've been gender fluid for a while now, I am just more confident in the label after wearing it for a while. Despite the few struggles I have I feel more free to be myself

This weekend was a hard one, one of the hardest in a while.

My partner is always so supportive, and she got to have fun with another girl on Saturday night.

When we talked about it afterwards, she felt that she had been able to relieve a sapphic itch that had been sitting there.

From that it came out with the complexity she feels surrounding myself, having known me as a cis male before the egg started cracking earlier in the year.

Recently we'd been playing around with caged chastity rather than just through orgasm control. To her that was more of a sissy thing, so neutral/male leaning into femme presentation. I liked the cage, not sure I even want to look at it right now.

When we were sitting in the hotel room she talked me through an experiment. I was in my lingerie and she had me close my eyes, move in front of the mirror, drop my panties and then open them looking at myself, with my lingerie hem pulled up a bit.

My instinct was to look away, to dislike what I saw hanging there... to want to hide it.

I asked for her help going to Victoria's Secret yesterday, got measured for a bra... and bought two... wanting to give some shape and form to my chest.

Not sure why I'm writing this tbh, other than to express myself a little to the void in the safety of strangers.

Going to talk to a gender support line when they open later in the afternoon... for now I'm hiding under a blanket cuddling Blahaj and occasionally crying.

I am currently on 0.12ml (12 units) injected weekly, I don't really know if it's enough?

https://transfemscience.org/misc/injectable-e2-simulator/

I tried this but had no idea how to convert 12 units into mg, also the pharmacy does not seem to list to concentration.

https://www.empowerpharmacy.com/drugs/estradiol-valerate-injection

And you know what? They were right. My partner, trans elders, and levelheaded allies.

It's so easy to be impatient when you first realize. Nothing can happen fast enough, and you want all the things, all at once. You want to be today where others are who have lived for decades to get there.

2.5 years into my transition it's occurring to me just how much progress I've made, even over the last few months. My body is developing rapidly, but I'm also gaining confidence to show the world who I really am.

More people are using my name and pronouns every day, I'm wearing more comfortable clothes and I no longer obsess about whether anyone will notice. Male-failing is an almost daily occurrence. I'm developing my own authentic fem styles.

I have a looooong way to go yet, but I'm excited for what the future might bring. My goals are finally beginning to seem attainable.

Hopefully those of you who haven't reached that point yet, and those going through a difficult time, can take solace in my little story about passing through into better times. Keep your head up, work toward your goals, and most of all be patient. It might take years, it might take a decade, but eventually you'll realize it was worth it.

Had surgery at Rush in Chicago. Ask me any questions you have.

I was in the hospital for a week and nursing facility for 2. Dilation is not bad, when they took out the packing and the first feeling inside made me nauseous and dizzy but the physical therapist helped with that and no more issues.

Surgery: Penile Inversion Vaginoplasty

Surgeon: Dr. Loren Schechter

So I became fairly recent aware and confident enough to accept my inner self being a woman instead of a man, like my body. All of my friends are super affirming and supportive, and I totally love them for having them!

But thats the good side of it all. There is the bad side as well.

Just randomly, during a quite boring company online meeting, I scrolled through some toots, listend to some music and to their presentation, I got such a severe anxiety attack. I don't know why, or what I could do. I was just bawling my eyes out. All those negative emotions of just being different, that there are groups in our society that dont accept us or even worse attack us hit me all at once.

It was utterly horrible. I sat there in my chair for atleast 10 minutes, unable to do anything but cry and destroy my mind.

Then I got a smidge of courage and joined my friends (who also happen to be colleagues from the same team) discords voice chat. Just expressing that I'm fricking awful and telling them about it. How I feel and all, but unable to determine a trigger. Sure they couldn't really "help" me, giving me advice or whatever. But that they were just listening, and understanding was already enough to get me out of that awful hole.

I am so lucky that I have them, just one click away.

Sorry for the ramblings, but I just had to somewhat write all of that shit down.

https://imgur.com/a/06wqcVf

Getting hit with a lot of emotions. Some scary and some exciting.

My wife is being really supportive and we've been talking through all of this the past couple days nonstop.

Part of me is ready to shave everything and start HRT and feel pretty, but I'm also fucking terrified about how my world will react. It's also only been a few days but I feel like a whole new world has been opened up to me?

I don't know. I want to everyone and nobody so I thought I'd scream into the void here. Hope that is ok.

I'm so fucking empowered by all of you

First off, I’m fine, I’m in a good place, safe, etc. This is just kinda stream of consciousness, so sorry in advance.

I’ve lived my life a long time with a sense of fatalism that bordered suicidal, and I’ve lived a crazy life. Got kicked out young, was into crypto in the early 2010’s but didn’t have enough capital to do anything interesting, couch surfed, homeless shelters, all kinds of stuff. People would ask me if I had any regrets and I legitimately never did.

Now, I have lots of regrets…

I regret being stagnant basically since puberty, living like some Punk Rock Peter Pan, drinking every day for decades, doing nothing but playing video games and smoking weed and blasting myself into some other life any way I could. I existed like an astral projection of myself, too apathetic to brush my teeth or do anything productive with my body. Workout goals never resonated with me, so I never did that either.

I have the general regret I didn’t come out to myself sooner, but I find that wholly unproductive, so I don’t entertain it, but these other regrets, they are making the tapestry of the game plan to get myself back on track and i don’t have the luxury to ignore it.

I’m making great progress, counting my calorie intake, being active, practicing mindfulness, but the more I do and feel better about myself, the more that regret nags at me.

It Just kinda dawned on me while I was sitting here, I’m actually afraid to die now, made me think about what else had changed when I realized I regret so much now, and it didn’t make me who I was anymore than the trauma or anything else, and now I feel brain fucked.

I dunno what the call to action is here, any of y’all relate or have anything to say?

I am having issues letting go of my family. My dad, he's awesome. Bought me a bunch of makeup and nails polish and is just generally wonderful.

My mom and one of my brothers at least are giant thundercunts. My brother cut me out of my nephew's life cuz 8 "is too young to be thinking of gender identity," even though they have been saying "it's a boy" since the ultrasound. My mom is standing up for my brothers parental rights, yet won't even say my brother is being a dickheaded bigot. "Cuz I'm 37 and old enough to fight my own battles"

I want my mom and my brothers. I'm really sad and hurt. I have told them as such. They do not care. How do I cut them out and let them go. It's really hard.

I'm just torturing myself every day, trying to win them over. It hurts that they don't care. I want them in my life, but not if they are going to be filled with so much hate.

Help?

I'm looking for other transgender people to be friends with. I used to be antisocial but now that I have been on e for a few months I feel so much better and I want to find some friends to play games with like Minecraft, Terraria, and Spelunky. I don't really know where to make friends but doing it locally isn't an option because I live in the middle of nowhere unfortunately.

Hi!

This is actually my first post on Lemmy so sorry if anything is messed up, but I was just wondering if anyone's explored (or knows of anyone who has) the idea of training a stable diffusion dreambooth/LoRa on their face then asking it to feminize it.

I'm not currently in the position to easily or openly explore too much, and thought this might help me personally (and if no one else has I might try it myself then release the steps I took!)

Lemme prephrase this with one simple comment: I have absolutely no idea what I am doing and this entry into the Fediverse is about to be a total trainwreck.

That being said...

Hi! I'm Stella, and I just joined this instance to see who could I talk to.

Young adult Asexual MtF uh... programmer question mark? Anxious Plays Minecraft Trying to escape the closet

As I said before, I have no idea what I am doing, and this is possibly going to be the norm for a while.

I hope I can meet some of y'all soon!

(oh and sorry if this isnt where I should be posting an intro I am confusion and howdy hasnt seen posts for over a month aaa)

I want to inject into my thigh but how do I find the thigh mussel? And not just inject into fat.

So, my egg finally cracked a few weeks ago. And while generally dysphoria isn't terrible for me at the moment, one thing that is really making me uncomfortable is my body hair. I've always been pretty hairy, so I bought an epilator a while ago, and while I'm really happy with it for my legs (smooth legs are aweeesome!), I'm having a hard time on my belly and chest. There's just so much and it regrows so quickly, and with how sensitive these areas are, I'm having a hard time keeping up.

Do you have any other tips or ideas, or do I just have to power through? I've heard it gets better if you do it often, but I can't feel much of a difference yet

And how are your experiences with body hair on HRT? I'm not on E yet, but would you say it gets better?

Thanks :3

It's apparently supposed to make a distinction between trans people before/after bottom surgery. I doubt that's a common use for that word, but I still have a few points against that specifically:

• I don't think it's ok to make a distinction those in this way
• It straight up ignores that not everyone wants bottom surgery
• It's not even the way '-sexual' is used normally.

Most people just use it interchangeably with transgender to my knowledge.

If I hadn't heard of it in context it's commonly used in, I would think that it's the attraction to trans people.

Idk if I'm making any sense here, I suck at saying/writing things that do

So sadly I failed my drivers test, so going to a thrift store a few cities away isn't happening, but I'm still going on a trip and I want some decent girl clothes to wear while I'm with friends who affirm me.

I woke up rested, got my little one in to school, got home, smoked a bowl, and fired up my virtual machines to grind pennies out of crappy cash grab mobile games to waste some time this morning. Stopped to use the bathroom quick, and was admiring how my hair line is coming in. I’ve had a lot of dysphoria about my hair before I knew what that was, it was the first thing that meant a lot to me and I didn’t know why, it was the first thing they took from me to try to break my will, and it was my first panic attack. Anyway, there is a lot of emotion tied up in my hair, and I wanted to share that with somebody and my first reaction was to send a selfie to my mom, but I couldn’t. So instead I’m sitting here upset that I can’t even celebrate my simple wins with my mom because of the way she acted last time (if you’re curious, you can read her exact words in a prior post).

Anyway, One of The garbage mobile games I’m playing is monopoly go, and they have this ADORABLE pink heart shield as a reward for the tournament, and that sucker is mine 💅

Blessed be ladies 💋 XOXO

I have a lot of facial hair; and I've been trying to properly combat it for a long time now.

I first got a safety razor, for a close shave - but the dark hairs were very visible and grew out a couple of millimeters by the end of the day.

I tried laser, but apparently my facial hairs are both light and dark, not to mention also having red pigments - so there weren't much results.

Then i tried pulling hairs out, one by one - this has the actual results I want, but I have to spend so much time on it, and do it around 3 times a week to even keep it sort of under control.

I have a epilating machine (pulling hairs out), that work wonders on my legs - but my facial skin hates it, and last time I ripped my upper lip pretty badly

I'm hoping for permanent hair removal, but I have to wait for my doctor to hopefully send me to a place (electrolysis)

Does anyone here have any experience with waxing the face or such? Should I give up and live with the dark shades of shaving?

Hi, I'm trying out the name Vibia Valentine. My pronouns are She/They.

I tried it in another community but I think it would be better to do it here.

I would love to hear what you can come up with.

Thanks!

I'm not sure whether this is the right place for this question, but... How do you know?

Like, I would 100% be a woman if I could choose. I also always play a female character in games. When I see a girl I feel a strong sexual attraction, but I also feel jealous of her.

But, I'm honestly not sure if I am not cisgendered. I feel like I missed the boat. I also don't know if I am sure enough. Is this impostor syndrome? How do I know it's not just sexual attraction? Or me being unhappy with the role men have in this world? Or me being depressed otherwise? It all seems like a big tangled mess.

Thanks a lot for all the comments. I made an appointment with my GP next week and hope that he can refer me to a therapist. All the best to you all <3