overview for undercoverkobold

Seems like I'm genderfluid now by undercoverkobold in c/mtf

[-] undercoverkobold 4 points 1 year ago

I don't mind as much but ultimately it depends on the day and how strongly I identify with certain pronouns. If I'm trying hard to present one way I'll notice pronouns more for example

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Seems like I'm genderfluid now (self.mtf)

submitted 1 year ago by undercoverkobold to c/mtf

6 comments fedilink

Heya, I'm Nen, been on hrt for a little over a year now and made some discoveries about myself along the way.

I didn't expect that I'd be gender fluid, but funnily enough my sister called it and told me they weren't surprised! It's been a little bit of a shock to realize that I don't mind being read as a guy sometimes, I've spent so much time trying to avoid looking like one just to find that I'm rocking my beard with a binder on.

I definitely know that being on estrogen (and now progesterone!) is the best for my mental health, and I definitely lean feminine in presentation overall. I feel more comfortable in my body as well when I feel less restricted by gender labels.

There's a few struggles however. I do find myself presenting the wrong way and only discovering later in retrospect, dysphoria can be different depending on the day (too masculine one day, too feminine the other, or often not androgynous enough). I also struggle with correcting others on my pronouns, but that's another struggle with being a people pleaser and avoiding conflict lmao

Ultimately I've been gender fluid for a while now, I am just more confident in the label after wearing it for a while. Despite the few struggles I have I feel more free to be myself

HRT has changed my perception of my own gender by undercoverkobold in c/mtf

[-] undercoverkobold 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I've considered it admittedly, I think I'm just worried about push back from others I know.

Add in a little bit of denial and imposter syndrome as well and that's me rn

HRT has changed my perception of my own gender by undercoverkobold in c/mtf

[-] undercoverkobold 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'm not the best at answering these kinds of questions but I'll try to give my perspective

I sometimes feel pressured into choosing who I am and using labels, when inherently I know labels will never perfectly describe the complexities of being human. But because everything in the Western world seems to demand conformity into such restrictive labels, I honestly just am left feeling like I'm not truly being myself.

(An example is on paperwork for many things still demanding binary gender markers when my ID labels me as non-binary)

Maybe I am gender fluid, but I think I'm scared to admit to it because it's such a change from my previous Perception of self before hormones?

Summed up, I feel there's pressure to pick a box and stay in a box, but I really don't feel like any box really fits me

72

HRT has changed my perception of my own gender (self.mtf)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by undercoverkobold to c/mtf

14 comments fedilink

I've been admittedly struggling with my identity as a whole, especially as I approach my 1 year mark on Estrogen. So far it's the right call for me, but I've discovered that I'm becoming more comfortable with my masculine traits and even find myself binding my breasts that I've waited so many years to have, while the next day I'll do the complete opposite and present femininely.

I feel like I have no consistent sense of self and often have a hard time even knowing what's going on in my head haha

Constantly trying to figure out if I'm a boy, girl, both, or neither, because I admittedly struggle with my body in various fronts. One day I'm too feminine, the next I look too much like a man, or I'm not androgynous enough.

Frankly, it's exhausting. I used to think I was just a woman but it doesn't seem to fit as I continue hrt.

It feels odd to express all of this but, I've not really talked to many trans people as I'm chronically shy. Is there anyone who can relate to what I'm going through?

Coming from RIF, what is your personal favorite Lemmy app? by undercoverkobold in c/redditwasfun@lemmy.world

[-] undercoverkobold 1 points 1 year ago

I've been loving wefwef on my mobile device, although I've definitely been missing some of the polish of RIF as it's still early on in the app's development.

So far it's close enough and clean enough for me coming from RIF. I tried jeroba but I'm not much of a fan of it personally.