https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breast_self-examination

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diagnostics/3990-breast-self-exam

Edit: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/u/Fiona points out that WHO doesn't recommend self breast exams. According to the wikipedia article I linked, you could self exam every single day and suddenly find a walnut (Susan Love), and self exams have not been proven to save lives.

Well, I finally had my first time being somewhat directly confronted with transphobia.

The background story is the following: So I made a meme (in another lemmy community) about a relatively unpleasant interaction I had with my parents ( I told them that I wanted to change my legal gender and they were not amused about that at all and said I should wait with it, they said I should also wait with hormones until I finished my degree for whatever reason) and someone decided to comment something about me being trans being a failure of my parents. I of course replied to it and several other other people were quite eager to roast him for this complete shit take. This ended up in him spitting a god awful amount of obvious transphobia. He called us a trend, a cult and us being trans a result of social media. He also cheered for "the reversal of the trans trend" and of course had to bring the children into it again. I would call myself not that sensitive and quite resilient to insults and similar stuff, but at some point I realized, that I have to stop the bullshit he wrote, because it definitely impacted my mood. Luckily it did not caused dysphoria, but It made me feel quite shit. He did ended up getting banned (obviously) and I am quite happy for that, since I have absolutely zero interest in Interacting with this fact resilient asshole ever again, but it was awful, even tho it was "just" my identity getting denied (and not stuff like direct threads or insults) and through the internet, but it definitely showed me, that I 100% do not want to repeat something similar in real life.

edit: One good thing was, that there were plenty of people roasting him and standing against the bullshit he said. As everyone says, allys are 100% needed, because i would not have had the energy and will to constantly push back against his bullshit.

Edit 2: Aaaaaaand here comes the Dysphoria.........

I am 14M(AGAB) and started feeling gender dysphoria after starting puberty. At first I thought that I was agender. Soon, I found myself imagining being an AGAB agender, so I decided that I was not agender but a trans girl. However, after identifying as trans, I only feel gender dysphoria once a while, and it's not string enough as before. I am now thinking that I might not be trans, and what I felt before was just a normal puberty experience. I'm afraid that I was thinking about myself all wrong.

Had two interactions with men in public today.

First guy walked next to me, I was on my phone, he walked uncomfortably close.

Him: Hey, how are you?

I looked at him, half-thinking maybe we know each other from somewhere, pretty quickly knew: No, we don't. So I just said:

Good.

I turned onto a park pathway. He kept walking next to me, so I said:

And?

Him: Ohh, I'm good. Where are you going?

Me, increasingly confused: Home?

Him: I'm coming with you!

Me, walking faster: Oh hell you aren't, bye!

Him, speeding up with me: I just want to ask you something!

Me: You're not asking me anything, get away!

And then he finally gave up. Honestly, it was fucking creepy. He then stood there and stared at me until I was gone. I was scared. And so happy he didn't follow me further. I'll file this under "Situations I'm glad I'm 6ft tall and look a bit scary".

Second guy: I was waiting at an intersection and then walked to the other side on red when there were no cars. He was stood on the other side. Then, when I passed him:

You'd be the perfect model!

He was nice about it. Even said it in the respectful form in my language that signals distance and respect, him clearly older than me. I said thanks, we smiled at each other. End of interaction. (There's a whole other conversation to be had about situations like this but that's for another day)

The duality of men, I guess. And also: This is what it means to pass, I guess.

Context for this: I grew up in a quite rural village but most of the time I am not there, since I study somewhere else(where my social transition is quite far, so that almost all people I know/care about know it and i very rarely get misgendered/deadnamed). When I am back at home I am an active member of 2 two clubs. I have not outed myself in my village for one reason: Talking. The people around here like to talk a lot of shit and imagine the wildest stuff ever. To avoid this I am planning to drop my coming out out of the void on the yearly general meeting. This means, that the people I am around know what the reality is and I can therefore avoid them maybe asking questions eventually forcing me to come out.

To eliminate any risks of other people learning about me being trans before I chose I since then avoided to tell my family my new name (they do know Im trans), since I dont want them to get used to my new name/pronouns and then accidentally drop them in a conservation with someone else.

Now to my main problem/rant:

Im currently back at home with my family until about the start of October and it fucking hurts getting called a boy all of the time. It hurts having to hear my old name all the time. It hurts hearing male pronouns used on me all the time. as much as I hate these things, I can not really tell them to use my new name/pronouns, since I want to absolutely avoid them accidentally dropping it. This means, that I will have to suffer for about one month until Im leaving my hometown again for the new semester. The good thing is, that in November the general meeting from one of the clubs is, so I can finally do my coming out there and around my local friend group. Im just hoping that everything works out fine, since the pepple here tend to be much more conservative. Another thing that is also absolutely terrible is, that I dont have any skirts to hop into when Im in my room (I did not bring any with me and Im also not ready to let my family see me in one) and it quite sucks that I wasnt able to bring my Blahaj with me due to limited space and me wanting to bring quite a lot of other stuff.At least I have a second pillow, that i can cuddle with, even tho it is by no means capable of being a replacement for my Blahaj its better than nothing.

I am quite lucky, that the constant deadnaming/misgendering does not trigger that much dysphoria for me, but it still always hurt a little bit. I know, that its not really their fault, but it kinda looks like they are trying to ignore me being trans, even tho I know it is not the case.

A set of genetically identical ovaries would be awesome.

Sorry for the first link that popped up. Don't know where that came from. Fixed it now

I've been saying, "I was born without a uterus", which so far seems to answer honestly without directly outing myself as trans.

Any thoughts on how to best navigate this? Ideally without disclosing I'm trans 😅

CW: transphobic boomers. This is going to be a rambling mess. Sorry

So I've definitely had some form of gender dysphoria for as long as I can remember. It's usually manifested as relatively mild things like having significantly more female friends than male friends, choosing female video game characters, and liking more traditionally female hobbies like baking fancy cupcakes. But I never really "acted like a girl" or dressed up and have absolutely no interest in makeup or clothing.

I'm also very much into girls so I never really gave gender much thought. That being said I was always very envious of my lesbian friends because I'm of the opinion that there's nothing more beautiful than two women in love. Although I mostly had bi girlfriends so maybe I give off certain signals.

Now when I mentioned choosing female characters, I mean exclusively. The only male character I've chosen was my avatar on stardew valley and then only because my SO wanted to play with me as me. And to be honest I never saw myself as a girl/woman, I just really wanted to be sometimes. I'm given to understand that when most guys look in the mirror they think things like "I'd look better if I got shredded, or grew a beard whereas I was always more of the opinion that big pillowy tits, thick thighs and an ass so big you can see it from the front would definitely be better.

And then there's all the ways testosterone fucks up my life. I'm constantly angry over nothing and it makes me hate myself. As well as feeling like a bono on crack the whole time. I just want to talk to my friends without constantly daydreaming of ploughing them.

So all that has been building for some time but recently I discovered that an acquaintance from highschool had gone through a transition since we lost touch, and she was living her best life in the fullest sense of the term. I found out because my mother had saved a clipping from a newspaper talking about her novel being nominated for a prize. Not because she thought I would want to know that one of my classmates was successful, but because she thought it was hilarious that someone I knew had transitioned (my mother is a toxic woman). These sentiments were echoed by my father (another deeply flawed individual). But in spite of their obvious amusement, I felt nothing but admiration towards her. She had done this big thing and done it in a rural community. I wish I had the ovaries to do that. So I decided I'd buy her book since my parents had advertised it so effectively.

So recently I was sitting at my desk in my shitty office doing my shitty job and I was brought to the verge of tears by the realisation that being a man was something I never wanted and was making me deeply unhappy. I haven't been happy in as long as I remember. I realised that the first half of my life had gone by and I'd not enjoyed it. It was actually reading through the posts on blåhaj that told me why.

The issue is that I have built a life around my male self. And while it's humble, I don't want to loose everything. I'm sure my partner and kids would be fine with it, but I'm also sure that some degree of prejudice would also follow them if I embraced my true identity. I desperately want to do hrt but I'm apprehensive.

Thoughts?

Hi, I just want to kindly ask what hygiene products to use? Preferably european and cheap, don't care if they are advertising it to men, women, or like unisex or whatever just would like something that works. Idk where to ask, just I as a kid I kinda neglected hygiene and would like some recommendations, also this Philips oneblade was honestly worth buying for me, kinda expansive but worth it :3

I'm terrible at posing, but I did manage to get a good shot instead of my ADHD "the person you are talking to has left the conversation" face.

I remember starting out seeing people post timelines a year or more in and thinking how impossibly distant it seemed. But now here I am after a year, and even I have to admit I look a bit different. It's been crazy, but I'm sooo glad I did it. Here's to another year, and another...

OK, so recently 2 of my jeans broke and so I had to buy new ones. Went shopping in the next City, but not a single store had any kind of jeans that were long enough (German/EU length 36). So I decided to then get them on the internet and when I order from one shop I can just buy 1 jeans Mentz for men and one for women. I then settled on a high waist Jeans and I have to say, that they are much cooler then men jeans.They look kinda cool And they also look way cooler if you add a nice belt. They are also much more comfortable, but that also may just be mine and since its new.

As you all might have guessed, the pockets are way smaller, but that's always the problem.

I also really like my high waist jeans, because that's something that I can get myself to wear it outside than as example anl skirt. It also provided quite a lot to me feeling extra "womenly" today.

I'm trying to find somewhere to store my sperm for fertility preservation before I start estrogen. Anyone got any recommendations in or near the bay area?

Did you get rid of the vellus (fine, downy) hairs as well? I realize the correct answer is "ask your surgeon", but...

The best I can find is that it probably doesn't matter, but since they have the potential to develop into a problem down the road I'm leaning towards better safe than sorry. My electrolysist (electrolygist?) wasn't sure. Hence The straw poll.

Thanks!

I just moved to a new area, which is right on the border between a red state and a blue state (living on the blue side, of course), and I'm looking to set up healthcare appointments. I can search for providers through my insurance, but there's basically no information on them. I would expect that the average medical professional would be more accepting than the average person, but I would still like to increase my chances of finding an accepting provider, since there are definitely phobes around. Are there any tips I can use to help with that?

Hey everyone sorry I’ve been quiet for a bit but I’m back because we really need help. I know some of you had started following the stories I started sharing about our life as queer refugees but I haven’t been able to post another update lately because I’ve had serious issues with my internet and account. It’s been hard just staying connected. Tho we had really a pressing problem and emergency

We’re still in Juba a small group of us queer refugees who escaped to find some safety. But we’re now facing a new emergency. We don’t have beddings no mattresses, no mosquito nets and it’s gotten worse because some of our people have already fallen sick with malaria. We’re trying to care for them with almost nothing. We sleep on bare floors in the cold and there’s no food left. We’re trying to raise almost 589$ to get basic things for us. Please find the support link in my bio or profile. If you can help with anything donation, sharing this post or even just words of encouragement please know it means everything to us. I’ll keep sharing updates when I can but this moment is really tough and we need our community. Thank you so much

With gratitude, Cyara Kaira

Hello nice people.Hello nice people.

I recently lost access to reddit :( and therefore I lost my favorite community 4tran4 :( which I'll miss dearly, those were most beautiful people in the world. And with that I also lost my support group.

I'm hoping somebody here would be able to give me some recommendations.

What I'm looking for is slightly dooming community, people who are not super cheery but rather somehow depressed,

I recently lost access to reddit :( and therefore I lost my favorite community 4tran4 :( which I'll miss dearly, those were most beautiful people in the world. And with that I also lost my support group.

I'm hoping somebody here would be able to give me some recommendations.

What I'm looking for is slightly dooming community, people who are not super cheery but rather somehow depressed, slightly toxic but always good to each other. Supportive, but when somebody is being stupid they would tell them. Not overly affirming, not celebrating every fetish under the world, calling out BS... but still nice to each other.

Can somebody recommend me something? please

I'm struggling to believe that the same person fit in both tops.

So, I'm going to be the best man in my friend's wedding. I'm very flattered to have the honor. He's one of my closest friends, and I have no problem supporting him as his best man/best trans.

Furthermore, I'm out to him, and he has made it clear that he wants me to show up in whatever way makes me the most comfortable. I've picked out a dress, started taking voice lessons, and plan on getting my hair and makeup done professionally.

I don't feel dysphoric at all about filling a traditionally male role, but...

How the fuck do I write a speech? A lot of best men seem to give speeches that joke about their 'bromance' with the groom and all that, which I find to be wholly inappropriate in my scenario.

My first thought was poking fun at picking a woman for best man, but some of his family are transphobic and I don't want to rely on gender humor out of fear that they stew in their transphobia and say something to ruin his wedding. Then I thought maybe I could crack a joke or two about being trans - but I also don't want to lean into the self-deprecation so much that I validate anyone's transphobia.

So, how do I even approach this?

I was thinking I could open with, "When the groom asked me to be his best man, I said, 'sit down, there's something you should know.'"

Maybe I'm overthinking it, but this is a friend who has been there for me in the past. I want to fill my role in his wedding perfectly. Any advice is welcome and appreciated.

Honestly don't have much to say. Just want to show how much I love my trans sisters and give you virtual flowers, since I can't physically give you real flowers. <3 🪻🌹🌷🌷🌹🪻🪻🌹🌷🌷🌹🪻🪻🌹🌷🌷🌹🪻🪻🌹🌷🌷🌹🪻🪻🪻🪻🌹🌹🌹🌷🌷🌷

hey does anyone have any progesterone suppliers they can recommend? been on e for a several months now but im looking to also start prog. i wasn't too sure about any of the links on hrtcafe tho...

Hello friends,

I’ve decided to start a series of posts sharing the true stories of queer refugees. I really want to create a clear and honest picture of what life is like for LGBTQ+ people in refugee camps like Kakuma and Gorom. I hope this will help the community understand us better not just what we go through but who we are. I believe storytelling can build connection, awareness and trust.

My name is Cyara Kaira. I’m an Ugandan transgender woman and a passionate human rights defender. I’ve survived violence, displacement and isolation not because I broke the law but simply because I dared to live as myself. My journey into exile began in Kakuma Refugee Camp, Kenya. I arrived there after fleeing Uganda where being trans can mean imprisonment, torture or sometimes death. I thought Kakuma would be a place of safety but instead it was another battlefield of trauma. In Kakuma, LGBTQ+ people are treated as if we are not human. I lived in constant fear. One night a group of men attacked us and tried to burn down our shelter. The trauma from that night still lives in my bones. I wasn’t sure we’d survive. This happened several times where queer refugees were usually stoned, cut with machetes and burned to death. It is on record that we have been losing lives starting from new born babies.

The camp had no support system for queer refugees. We were left to fend for ourselves and punished when we tried to speak out : ( I was threatened to be killed by the head of police ( OCPD) of Turkana region simply because i stood up for others. Remember this wasn’t me at all I didn’t wake up one time and thought that I can one time battle with some government institutions or UNHCR simply because they failed to respect even the basic human rights. They turned me to who I am today. A lot of transphobia happened to me and my fellow queer refugees that really forced us to flee to South Sudan. Now you might ask why of all countries near Kenya. The neighboring countries of Kenya were Tanzania, South Sudan and Uganda my home country which almost the leading country in world for criminalizing LGBTQ individuals. South Sudan was the nearest to the Kakuma refugee camp.

Here is a link of PinkNews about me and the life of transgender refugees in Kakuma. It was taken some years ago but I believe it can also add to the story I am talking about.

We fled to Gorom a refugee settlement in South Sudan. It was meant to be safer. But the truth is even here life remains uncertain and painful. Literally the same and here also the government is really strictly against us. We are because of UNHCR’s advocacy and also UNHCR cannot do more if the government speaks. I really have a very long story that I can tell for days.

In my next post, I’ll share what it’s like for queer people living in Gorom how we survive, what we lack and how we care for one another.

Thank you for reading. And thank you for seeing us.

CyaraKaira

Heya! I’ve been looking into getting an orchiectomy, but I’m having a really hard time finding a surgeon. I’m located in Arizona, USA. Does anyone have any tips or recommendations?