I joined Reddit thanks to 3rd party apps, and when they turned their back on them I was out too.

I used one of those automated programs that used the old.reddit API to overwrite all my comments. I took a break for lunch, thinking to delete my account afterwards, but when I came back my account had been permanently banned.

So it was definitely like one of those "You can't quit, you're fired" type of situations.

From time to time I visit the site because of search results, but from what I can tell, all the main subreddits are filled with bots reposting the same content from 5 years ago.

Lately it's been a kaleidoscope of mourning for a past that could have been... So much questioning, denial, and self doubt. 😔

Real.

And voice training!

Meee

Thank you for kind words. <3

Things are OK. I was looking at TotallyNotJessica's post encouraging more people to post in egg_irl, and I thought "OK, but what would I even post?" This was the result.

I'm at a point where I'm questioning the validity of my own experience. I just got diagnosed with ADHD, and I'm finally on medication that has significantly reduced my anxiety. While I was waiting for diagnosis I didn't actively think much about being trans. I observed that if I'm not focusing on it, it's not a thorn in my side, and it doesn't bother me, and my impression was that for "real" trans people, dysphoria & the incongruity of identity in lived-experience is not just something they can ignore or turn off. So yeah, imposter syndrome, not trans enough, etc.

It leaves me to wonder, if I just deleted my trans-leaning social media & didn't seek out the trans-affirming content, would I just forget all about it and settle into some form of non-queer (but still Allied) identity, as I did in the past when I never really thought about or considered these things?

(And now I'm realizing this is definitely Matrix red-pill/blue-pill territory, and I could probably make another egg_irl post just based on this ramble! 😅 )

(And yes, Children of Men (2006) is a great SciFi. Grim, dystopian, pulls no punches. Highly recommended.)

One of my all time favorites. I re-watch it at least once a year. The characters, the setting, the ✨cinematography✨. Just wonderful.

Cultist Simulator. (half joking 😂).

Big fan of Cities Skylines in city simulator genre.

Johhny Silverhand tried and look where that got him.

Feels like pressure.

At times it's just a barely noticeable background level of weight, like sure I can handle this, no big deal. At other times, it feels like a crushing weight, painful, can barely even sleep, and all I can do is seek some kind of gender affirming euphoria to feel some relief.

Tonight is one of the latter, after feeling like I clothed myself in lies and had to perform all day, the pressure is unbearable. Looking forward to an evening of painting nails, makeup and spinny skirt.

Same. Joined at the Digg migration. Left at the 3rd party App-ocolypse. Reddit is dead. Or perhaps it's more accurate to say that it's a zombie: with more bots than actual human users, it's the Dead Internet Theory in action.

All my screenshots are memes. Where is Google going to send me on vacation?