Oh, my. I think I'm getting the girl-horny already. Somebody please send help... no, wait, lesbians. Send lesbians.
Seriously, though, my wife's basically asexual and my original solo playbook is not going to cut the mustard. What do?
Heyyy! Nice to see you again <3
And you changed so much since the last pic! Ahhh, you're so pretty!
Ah yes, I know it well. The "I'm only into cute shit ironically" → "I'm secure enough in my masculinity to dress in pink" → "I'm a girl" pipeline.
Yes, I can relate!
Even though clothes, makeup etc aren't inherently gendered, a lot of people (myself included) have pretty strong associations between those items and binary genders. That person with long hair, wearing mascara, lipstick and a skirt? I'm going to assume they're trying to present feminine and identify as a woman^*^.
Before coming out, I spent a long time trying very hard to be a man. Avoiding femininity. That cute outfit? Not for you, bad!. Long hair? Not for you, bad!, Make up? Run away! Not for you! Associating with women? You'd better only be looking for sex, not someone you identify with. For someone who grew up in a very binary, gender-conforming environment, it was a learned instinct for self-preservation.
So of course when I start trying out feminine stuff, all that internalized misogyny comes flooding back, pointing at myself. Thing is, it also feels really good, and so I feel guilty, like I'm doing something I shouldn't. In other words, embarrassing.
Going slowly and getting used to things gradually helps. Also other people's lack of reaction: I went out today in a skirt and make-up; nobody gave me a second look, let alone commented. So I can tell myself: see, nobody cares. It isn't that bad. (Of course, there are also transphobic assholes out there, so be careful)
^*^ I should clarify this: I don't mean that only women can present like that. Gender non-conforming people are a thing. Clothes are not inherently gendered. But in everyday life (rather than, say, LGBT-centric spaces), I'm going to assume, until corrected,
Blåhaj is always up for a cuddle.
Waiting...
... for my hair to get long enough for even a short feminine cut. I don't really feel like wearing a wig, but I guess I might try a cute headscarf.
... to lose weight. I'm going about as fast as I safely can, and it's noticeable, but there's still a lot to go.
... for hair removal. Seeing the effects already, but gotta wait at least a month between appointments.
... for hormones. First appointment in six weeks or so. At least there's DIY as a fallback.
But! I'm out to my family, and my immediate coworkers (I work from home anyway). So I can wear what I want, practice my voice and makeup, and things are good. I don't wear anything more boyish than women's jeans and a semi-fitted T-shirt (OK, fairly neutral), and I guess I'll just tell anyone who asks. Just wish I could see in the mirror how I feel.
Yay, thanks for the update!
Hiya, and congratulations! Newbie here.
Now that I'm no longer using junk food and booze to fill the gaping void in my life, I'm slowly but steadily losing weight (for the first time ever) - went down a belt notch today :) I wonder if my man boobs will stay to give me a head start?
Plus, first laser session in a few hours. Bye bye, beard!
Things I've found out this week:
- wearing a skirt makes me look pregnant (way too much belly fat)
- makeup looks a lot better from a distance
- eyeliner won't stick (tried liquid and pencil so far)
- I have no idea how to do makeup
- skincare makes a huge difference
- camisole over t-shirt rocks!
- buying clothes I like is fun!
- still look like a fat old man in drag :(
Seconded. I had a great time at university, but geez do I wish I'd come out then rather than waiting till now. That's just present-day me talking of course; please don't take it as pressure to do something you're not ready for.
OP, you have all the time in the world. You're not going to miss out on anything, so stay safe, OK?
Hehe, I was forgetting I still have T skin...
OldEggNewTricks
joined 10 months ago
Glad you're OK(-ish)!
Yes, the brain worms are real. And you're right: I don't imagine emergency responders are going to play games. If they're talking to you as a woman, that's what they thInk you are.
Here's hoping future affirmations are in more pleasant circumstances!