Executives report that they have finally finished the number crunching that has been the topic of discussion for weeks now regarding the new budget changes. One board member told us "The nerds in accounting kept complaining about how many expense reports we've been sending lately. After looking into it, we've found a rapid uptick in hitman related expenditure." Confirming recent suspicions that vendors did take note of the recent demand increases and decided on a market adjustment industry-wide. Our source did not confirm that these new layoffs were due to the investigation results, but inside rumor is saying that's the case.

I mean, I myself was so fucking depressed that it was between the two, so literally anything that the Democrats would put up other than Biden I'm automatically going to be thrilled about. I could think of a few better options, actually quite the handful of better options than Harris, but you bet your sweet ass I'm still going to vote for her and support the ever living fuck out of her cuz fuck Trump.

If only we had a free market 🫤 (but still fuck musky husky)

Obviously any and all outside support for either is completely due to complex and additional ulterior motives.... but even knowing that, I'm sick of my taxes being used like they are and I find myself in agreement with this fucker....

What moment did we stray from a reasonable timeline

As a full time delivery,driver completely reliant on this to survive as I live in my car, but in another state, allow me to share some tips. (I do not take responsibility for your actions or the results.

1. Unless you have near-perfect overlap of your zones/active areas across multiple platforms, do not waste your main time (2 hrs on either side of a common meal time) trying to multi-app.

2. If you are choosing the cherrypick method of offer acceptance: Get to know the specific flow of high value orders during high order quantity times. Your acceptance rate, and therefore your average offers, obviously suffer with this method. Accept that as a fact and ensure that you're still the nearest/fastest/best driver. Attempting to maintain a nearly-next-tier acceptance rating is useless. (Example: Doordash does not officially take issue with drivers for acceptance rates except in outlier cases. You may be hovering around 10-30% and thats how cherrypicking works.)

3. If your customer has added anything into the details other than the default instructions,it is worth it to contact your customer directly with a more accurate and personal ETA upon leaving with their order. The same for when there is any sort of a wait. Yes the app sometimes notifies them automatically, but I've never had a complaint for doing this and you can automate a large chunk of this with Android phones, idk about iPhones. But I have seen a.noticible increase in likelihood of additional tips from being more specifically informative than the app is.

4. If you find yourself with a pain in the ass order to a shitty low/no tipper, and you find yourself frustrated that this won't even pay for your own meal.... then snap your blurry-as-hell photo as you drive by and go on your way with your meal that DeliveryCo.s investors just paid for. Seriously. I have over 5k deliveries across 3 apps, and I have had 2 strikes ever, both of which were removed after I disputed them.

look, the Customer gets their money back, and the very same number you call to attempt to get some help when an order goes to shit only to wait on hold for someone who is also underpaid as fuck to do exactly fuck-all to help IS THE SAME ONE THE CUSTOMER GETS. They are incentivised to process calls as quick as they can because they are being fucked by the same company fucking you. Not to mention the fact that if someone places an order and doesn't tip, then they cannot afford the order in the first place, and the get their money back. Moral relativism is built in to capitalism, and being the bigger person to a corporation when you haven't eaten since lunch yesterday only serves to perpetuate the problem.

5. Wealthy homes =/= great tips. Sometimes it does, and weathier areas do tend to have less 0$ tips, insufficient tips can be just as prevalent if not more in certain areas.

6. The staff at restaurants are hardly ever responsible for you having to wait for an order, and being kind and patient is a necessity and often results in your order getting finished with less mistakes and less time.

7. This is very dependent on your area, but the best times I have found on average generally with all 3 different States I have worked in:

-Monday breakfast

-Wed-Sat nights

-(*)Sunday until after late lunch(around 2:30pm)

-government holidays

I have had consistent crappy dekiveries with workday lunch hours.

(*) I have had both my very best tips and my absolute worst tips + deliveries on Sundays. Its random.

If i'm not on several already, then I'm not doing things right as it is.

Eat the rich!

Idk why, but it seems to help my dyslexia. ¯\(ツ)/¯

It would be good to know how this works on a larger scale. Like, everyone in a city or county having UBI and watching to see what society and the local economy as a whole does in response.

Mammals only got yeeted to their own evolutionary tree branch 40 million years prior to those that would be considered reptilian (sorta dinos too) which was somewhere in the realm of 250 million years ago.

Meaninng the reptiles of today are ~5x further apart in time from dinosaurs, than dinosaurs are from their common ancestors to mammals.

I think we really should just not bother thinking in terms of current speciation concepts. They could have had jellyfish like tentacles dangling allover their skin and we'd never know.

Never thought I would grow up to be a terrorist, but here we are.

Feels way more fun than I would have ever thought!

Yeah, such as anyone trying to unscramble your... "thoughts"

Most underrated animated show of our time. So pissed Netflix owns it, cause it will never receive the love it deserves.