That's the first time I've ever double-taked a sentence before. Nice.

Where did the trans stuff even come from, my dude? No mentioned it until you - weirdly - brought it up.

What? Ah, nevermind, I got you. Fairy fucks

Good grief, that might be the worst customer service job I've ever heard of. I've worked Sainsbury's 'head office' - which was just the outsourced customer service centre for people who phone store chains to complain about cucumbers - and that was bad enough, but at least I got some good stories out of it ("My watermelon has exploded and I'm afraid of the second one. Can a man come round and take it away?" First ever call).

You were getting Mail readers who are already a self-selecting group of thick cunts and you were getting the worst of them. Jesus Christ, that must have been rough. So, so happy for you that you're out of that, I can't imagine what that would do to someone's mental health!

The second last time I went to a dentist, he told me I had been brushing my teeth wrong. Cool, bought the TeethIoniser5000 plus recommended toothpaste from his suggestion.

Last time I went to the dentist, he told me that I was still brushing my teeth wrong. "But the last guy?"

"Wrong. He was wrong."

Every fucking dentist has told me whatever way I brush my teeth, I'm doing it wrong, so fuck them. Now I just use my finger.

Don't do that, as I have one tooth left I use to open cans.

A fellow wonk, I see. "They burn to the fucking ground, Eddie"

I can't work out how to upvote this on the app as I have been at the pub. Take this comment as considerable appreciation for this image 🙏

They would just claim it was to 'make the them look bad' or something similar. That's the beauty of bullshit; it's like a perpetual avalanche. It's overwhelming and incredibly difficult to counter.

Socialism wasn't even mentioned, dipshit.

I don't know why I find this so hilarious.

You might be interested in subvertising which actively works to reclaim the spaces invaded by advertising.

One could, in theory, download the posters and put them up over the relentlessly shite, unasked for adverts that permeate every part of your city. One could even buy a key which opens certain advert spaces - such as bus stops - and replace them with any image of your choosing. Obviously this is illegal and no one would ever do this, however, I assume wearing a hi-vis vest and beanie hat would work surprisingly well when not doing this illicit activity. Also, complain about the hourly rates if questioned and you'll absolutely be left alone.

Exactly. Being close to pissing myself in the cinema due to the incessant false summit endings soured that film a bit. Rewatching the extended version at home was amazing though.