someone who can write VLOOKUPs

I think you're overestimating the competence on display here...

Elizabeth Warren, btw.

Humanity: develops nuclear fusion

AI:

Eat local, honey.

I just really want decent VR support...

They also made some pretty significant improvements to performance, and importantly, simulation speed with this one. But yeah, the DLC is kind of insulting.

Well, Bottles anyway, and Affinity Photo v1.10.6.1665.

Here's the custom recipe I use (with caffe-8.21): https://privatebin.net/?5f0ccc4d96c9f386#8MRRLF6WkZ8zjPWDFucuwsiCGSg9mdSVwcF3YqfqFarU

Some minor rendering issues, but perfectly usable.

I'll vouch for Affinity. Runs pretty well in Wine, too.