Please dont take this seriously guys its just a dumb meme I haven't written a single line of code in half of these languages
Every programming language has it's place.
JavaScript's place is in hell.
I used to think Javascript was hell when I barely used it. Now I have to build with it regularly and... once in a while I'm just right about things.
Ever wanted to be somewhere inbetween java and JavaScript?
Yeah, that's Groovy. Only it's the wrong groove
JS is ironic punishment as a programming language. It's fun to screw around in! And then you have to use it for stuff, and pain ensues.
Latex: Problem --> \def\please@#1#2#3#4{\e@kill#2#3{\me#1}#4@now} --> 
Accurate. LaTeX is great, it makes you feel like you have superpowers compared to "office suite"-style software. But every once in a while you just run into some bullshit that feels like it's stuck in 1985 and it completely breaks your flow. I remember wanting to make a longtable where text in the "date" column would be rotated by 90 degrees to leave more horizontal room for the other columns. It took me two rotateboxes, a phantom, a vspace, a hspace and 40 minutes of my life to get the alignment right. Would probably have taken a duckduckgo search and three clicks in Libreoffice.
PHP: Problem -> real_solution_for_real_this_time() (real_solution_i_swear() is unsafe and deprecated)
Eh, your statement is accurate for PHP4 and still relevant up to PHP5.2... We're on PHP8.3 now and PHP8.0 is now out of security updates. I know it's trend to hate on PHP but you've got to at least update your materials to var-vars... it's like knocking node for having substr() and substring().
missing the stage of C where it's all incomprehensible bitfucking with comments like "this works, i do not know why it works, do not touch this"
Real fast inverse square root algorithm hours
That one is not that complicated if you don't think about the math. It's basically just if we interpret the float as int and add a magic number we have a good estimation.
From what I remember at least, it's been a little while since I implemented it.
C: "Segmentation fault."
Where?
C: 🤷🏻
Then you open the core file with GDB and hope the stack is not smashed.
gdb -> where
python is like that. someone waay smarter than you have already done this 10 years ago.
Idk I still like writing my own stuff purely pythonic when I can. Pythons syntax is the most “fun” and “natural” for me so I find it fun. Like doin a sudoku puzzle
OK rust made me laugh
Yeah that one got me too. Rust has tons of c libs wrapped in safe rust.
I was mainly thinking about how so many Rust projects advertise very loudly that they're written in Rust. Like, they would have -rs in the name, or "in Rust" as part of their one-line description. You rarely see this kind of enthusiasms for the the language in other languages. Not a bad thing by the way! And also there's the "rewrite it in rust" meme, where people seem to take perfectly functional projects and port them to Rust (again, not a bad thing! Strength in diversity!)
C# Solution -> .sln
(brought to you by .net gang)
The line between problem and solution for C should be 30 miles long.
...with 19 bugs 9 of which are exploitable.
And one bug that one person found once but is not reproducible
So the developers claim, but the users still encounter it, and the bug report stays open for 22 years ... possibly more.
i feel like javascript could also be
Problem -> solution -> 3 days pass -> all dependencies had breaking changes made -> problem
I never understood this logic:
“I know nothing about this subject, I’m gonna post a meme (a funny graphic usually about a specific topic, this one outlining the differences between languages) but I know nothing about the subject and will ask that nobody correct me or try to apply rationale here because I choose to be ignorant and have no interest in expanding my knowledge of the world and people around me, I just want people to tell me I’m funny and give me internet points”
To each their own ig
...but it's funny (although it would've been funnier if C was "Problem -> Buffer Overflow")
If you have never had a segmentation fault, then you have never programmed in C
We need a SeniorProgrammerHumor community. Less jokes about quitting vim and programming languages and more about every day funny issues.
We no longer have humor, it's been beaten out of us by code reviews and merge conflicts.
for the ones missing the marvelous HTML, I gotchu bro:
<problem />
Add css, and the problem looks really pretty now
Problem
Didn't see any mention yet, so...
Useless use of cat!
I’ve seen this before but don’t accept it myself. There are cases where you just wanted to cat. In this case, maybe to review the problem. Then you want to extend the command. Preserving it in the next commands where you start stacking on pipes is useful since it can be fewer strokes and maintain a habit.
C:
Problem → return Solution;
C++:
Problem →
const [auto]&& (Problem&& problem) noexcept(noexcept( Solution<Problem>{}(std::forward<Problem>(problem)) )) { return Solution<Problem>{}(std::forward<Problem>(problem)); } -> decltype( Solution<Problem>{}(std::forward<Problem>(problem)) )
JS is basically the Hydra from the Greek Mythology.
Though PHP is literally the problem had me lol.
Java:
Problem -> NullPointerException.
More like
Problem → new ProblemSolverFactory().createProblemSolver().solveProblem();
Exactly. And configured by 5000 lines of brittle XML.
XML is great because while most config formats compromise on either being human-readable or machine-readable, XML solves this problem by being utterly incomprehensible to man and machine alike 😍
Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)