Lol best answer so far
Honestly, spend time with my family and pets. Enjoy nature. Have a big party with my favorite people where I tell them how they've made my life so wonderful.
After divorcing and making sure my wife and child get whatever nest egg I can scrape together, I’d go big on highest limit credit cards I could find and we’d all go have as many adventures as possible together (even if it’s just right seeing).
I wouldn't spend much because my wife would need something to live on. I'd spend it with family and just hang out.
Quit my job on the spot and do fuck all
Ooh, I actually know the answer to this! I had cancer a couple years ago, and it got really dicey for a bit. While my story has a good ending and I am now effectively cancer-free, I had to look the potential of death clear in the face and start making some concrete plans.
My answer is unequivocal - I would prepare my family for my untimely demise. My wife and I got together when we were young enough that we entered adulthood together and grew that way. There is no me and her - there is only us. This is not some creepy codependency thing. We just became adults whose emotional and mental shapes are highly complimentary. That happens when you are with someone longer than you were not. We also have kids for whom I am the primary caretaker and stay-at-home dad while she works. Both boys are autistic though you might not notice it, and I am their primary coregulator. My family needs me in ways that are not universally true across families.
Most of my plan can be summarized as follows:
- Prepare my wife for life without me. Ensure she has the basic skills that I have taken over in our lives. Impress upon her the notion that while she has been the love of my life, I sincerely hope I am but one of hers.
- Spend as much time with my kids as possible. Cement myself in their memories. Record messages and fatherly advice in writing and/or video for every major life event I can think of.
- Set up therapy and support services for my family once I die.
- Get my friends and family on board for specific forms of help as time goes on. People who want to help do nothing when they do not know what to do. They are more likely to follow through when told, "I know Jimmy really looks up to you. After I die, please take him out for some bonding time at least once a month. He is going to be lost without me, and Wife cannot be a masculine role model like I was."
- Plan my funeral and write my obituary. Make it clear that any of this can be changed.
- Basically, do anything I can to prepare my family for life without me.
I know this is not terribly exciting, but it found that what I feared far more than death was the fate of my family without me there to care for them.
This is extremely heartfelt, wonderful advice. I'm glad your story has a happy ending. But I can't imagine a better way to prepare your family. I am going to save this somewhere, for in case I ever need it, because this is exactly the sort of thing I would want to do.
I also totally get what you mean about your wife and you growing into adulthood together. I have the same thing with my husband. If he were gone, I literally am not sure what I would do in many small parts of my life. I'd adapt eventually, but knowing I'd be struggling with grief in addition to suddenly need to consider a dozen crucial but small things is dizzying to think about.
Holy shit, that sounds like you spend a lot of time thinking about that. First of all your relationship sounds like a dream. Hope it holds forever. I definitely got a lot of inspiration from your post, even tho I'm not looking the reaper in the eyes. Lots of good points how to plan our passing for the remaining people. Death can always happen to anyone unexpectedly. Always good being prepared. And I guess those are some good steps. Spending time with your loved ones is obviously important even if you are not the person facing death but if it is an elderly person.
You faced death so well that you got your life back. You might be my hero.
instantly feel the tension in my body release. completely relax like i've never relaxed before. watch all the films i still want to. probably be sad for most of it though
a lot of drinking drugs and videogames i guess
Maybe a cruise with my wife too or something she would enjoy.
Overseas trip. Not my thing but my wife would enjoy the bitter sweet memories guess.
fly to america and piss on ronald reagan's grave.
it's 1 of my 3 bucket list items and i've already done the other 2
I think you might need more bucket list items.
Unless you’re like 70.
Well, there were probably more originally, but there are only so many graves and so much piss.
I would quit my job, sell my house, cash out everything I could and move to southeast Asia to live like a hedonist. Hookers and blow, perhaps literally.
Rehome my pets to make sure my bonded animals stay together and everyone goes to someplace that will love them :(
Release my superannuation (a government mandated retirement fund) and move to Buenos Aires with those I love.
-
write a will
-
settle debts
-
quit my job to spend more time with my kids
-
write my memoirs
-
record hours of video of me telling stories for my kids to have after I'm gone
-
write down all my accounts passwords for my wife
-
prepay for twenty years of webhosting and domain registration
-
plan my own funeral
-
dance every weekend (though at my currently level of fitness, maybe this would be a feat)
-
definitely spend a lot more time in church
Assume that you only have the resources and money that you’ve acquired up to this point in your life
I've got nothing.
and you still have to pay rent, bills etc.
I've got less than nothing
I am still studying, and now there would be no point. So I'll just make it shorter. Nitrogen asphyxiation seems promising if done right.
Just take out a loan
Put up all my game dev related stuff on GitHub and make any applicable account passwords accessible to someone who might know what to do with it.
The dev we don't deserve but needs
Make sure all my assets will be turned over to my wife without issues. Then set aside some money to take a vacation with her until the end.
Set up a trust.
So I.... Kinda fantasize about this like daily.
I think I'd be incredibly happy/relieved to know I can die without hurting my family too much as it wasnt by my own hand. At the moment I'm trapped here and I don't exactly want to be.
If your family would be upset to lose you, I imagine they love you and they would be upset no matter the way it happens. You might be trapped now, but life is long and full of opportunities. Luck is when preparation meets opportunity. Seek help, go to therapy, work on yourself and grab life by the balls. This humble stranger on the internet believes in you.
Given the information disparity between me and insurers, probably take out a life insurance policy.
Record 40 years of birthday messages.
Probably work overtime to make sure the next quarter's numbers go up - because nothing is as important as the economy!
/s
Attaboy!
Quit my job and blow my savings traveling and visiting my friends and family. Probably chill for the last couple weeks.
I would put the entire world on ignore and have adventures until I croak, but the awesome thing is, I'm pretty much already doing that and I have many, many years to live.
Get my shit together to make sure my partner and my mom are okay. If I have to keep working as a condition of my partner getting my retirement savings and health insurance, that’s fine.
Other than that I don’t know. Travel? I wouldn’t want to spend too frivolously if it means my SO would lose out on something.
Aww, you're a good heart, too. I also hope you win a significant amount of money and live to enjoy!
Quit my job and travel.
Well, I'm not exactly super rich from med bills right now, but being physically well enough to do normal stuff would be a pretty bittersweet miracle. I'd take it in stride.
I have a few loved ones who are pretty well off who would probably want to go on a few vacations with me, and I'd probably go do some cool stuff with some fandoms (I'm not even that into Xena but I want to go to a Xena event some time because that's real fandom goals IMO) to celebrate nice people who exist and raise awareness of whatever's killing me.
If I were dying, love to do something dumb like ask the world for enough stickers to cover an entire car with pokemon or ponies or dragons or something.
You would remember some obscure disease if it were the Dragon Sticker car, right?
I'm not exactly super rich from med bills right now, but being physically well enough to do normal stuff would be a pretty bittersweet miracle.
Oh to just be told "it's terminal, you've got 6 months, good news, you'll have a surge of health before the end"
It's not what I would hope for from my life, but it sounds nice to finally be able to just, stop.
No more chasing down GPs for refferals, no more calling specialists asking if they've sent over results and reports. No more weekly appointments trying to find the right medication. Most more confusion over "is this symptom something new that's unrelated? Or Is it related? Will it be temporary? Is this symptom my new normal? Wait, is this a drug side effect?"
No more fighting with council to get ramp access to my house, no more stressing over how I will ever be able to afford the home care I'll need for the extended duration I'll need it on the income my disability limits me to.
No more looking at my mother and my auntie's as they slowly crumble, while still being expected to suck it up and bear the responsibilities they always have. No more seeing the long, deteriorating future ahead of me reflected by my loved ones.
No more "oh, you're chronically ill? have you tried drinking water and doing yoga?"
No more "you don't look sick"
I've only got 6 months to have to put up with any of this, and then I'm gone.
I'd prefer to be alive, but I wouldn't be upset at the universe if that's the hand I was dealt.
6 months is a good time frame. Certainly beats getting hit by a bus tomorrow - who would look after me cat?
Simple: eat, drink & fuck.
I'd get started on all those "100 Things You Must ______ Before You Die" lists. I mean, I'd like to spend time with loved ones and prepare for the end, but they're mandatory, apparently.
Coke and orgies
Idk I’d probably just live like normal, but find a place to rent so I can live and enjoy without anyone minding lol, probably take some steroids and build a shit ton of muscle so I could see myself jacked as well probably, though 6 months prolly aint enough
I would write my will which contains things about my possessions and wishes, then visit my friends I have not spent time with yet, then the ones I have memories of, then my remaining family members, then the place where it all started.
Travel and see the world expense be damned. I'm young though.
travel. international flights might be out of the question but theres gotta be plenty to drive around and just go see and explore. maybe try to reconnect with some old friends i once loved dearly
Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu