Damn, I guess every so often someone independently invents Mormonism lmao

And she gave birth to her firstborn son; and she wrapped Him in the stars and stripes, and laid Him in the bed of the truck, because there was no room for them in the holiday inn.

The idea of Americans believing the bible actually took place in the USA is the most American thing I can imagine.

Also, counterpoint: The Bible actually took place in Scotland, specifically in an around the Forth. Here are my arguments:

• The Forth has more than seven tributries, including (but not limited to) The Leven, The Esk, The Water of Leith, the Almond, The Avon, and The Carron.
• Scotland was actually, provably, occupied by the Romans and still has Roman remains.
• Splitting the sea at the Inchgarvie Narrows makes more sense than splitting the Red sea.
• The Islands of the Forth are full of Hermitages, and Inchcolm has a Abbey, why? BECAUSE THEY KNEW!!!
• The Temple was built on a mount and surrounded by walls? St Margaret's Chapel is on a mount surrounded by walls. Ergo; Edinburgh Castle is the actual site of The Temple!
• America has had no Presidents called "David", but Scotland has had two.

COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT!

Ah yes, the Mississippi, the only river with 7 tributaries in the world. Of course.

Yeah.

And Moses split the Gulf of California to deliver his people to the promised land... Baja California.

What do leftists have to so with the Bible?

Also 2000 years ago river systems were different.

This is real dumb

Okay, the first problem is that the Bible does not say that Nile has 7 tributaries.

It says that (a different river, likely Euphrates), will get smashed into 7.

The second problem is everything else.

Does that make the chosen people the Appalachian Hillbillies?

Why are so many people taking a shitpost so seriously, some of ya'll have watched wayyyyy too much Woke Veggie Tales

Kinda related: The mormons believe that the garden of Eden was where Independence, Missouri is now... and everything resettled in the Middle East after the flood.

yes, they sold the greatest lie in history and were very successful with it

so, this is what they mean by AI hallucinations?

Christianity loses basically all of its real historical support if you remove the Roman context. But that's kind of on brand for evangelicals who seem to think that "faith" is only pure when the conjecture defies all logic, reason and is in conflict with any external information.

The Atchafalaya is a distributary, not a tributary.

There's a guy who long maintained that the Garden of Eden is found near the Florida panhandle and there's a park to commemorate this.

All I know for sure is that Atlantis was in Iowa.

“The Bible says…” Stop. There’s your problem right there.

And did those feet
In ancient times
Walk upon Kentucky’s mountains green?

If this is true shouldn't all the MAGGATs give up their land to Zionists?