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Women on the Tea App Are Red-Flagging Men for Liking Pokémon (www.distractify.com)
submitted 3 days ago by StillAlive@piefed.world to c/offbeat@lemmy.ca
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[-] Ajen@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 days ago

Rage bait. Yes, the app is creepy, but the first actual quote the article gives is in this paragraph:

And then there’s the phrase. Post after post across the app uses some version of the same line: “he collects women like Pokémon cards.”

None of the quotes truly support the headline, imo.

Also, that app is creepy af and should probably be illegal on privacy grounds.

[-] JackbyDev@programming.dev 0 points 2 days ago

Yeah, that part really shows the entire methodology of the article is bullshit.

And then there’s the phrase. Post after post across the app uses some version of the same line: “he collects women like Pokémon cards.” That’s not a joke somebody made once. That’s the app’s house insult, used so often it might as well ship with the keyboard. The man on the receiving end doesn’t even have to play. You could have never touched a card in your life and still catch this one.

They're proving that this instance of a negative mention of Pokemon doesn't even have to do with someone being interested in the hobby which is the entire premise of the article. But they never mention filtering for this, and then just go on to say that liking Pokemon is the worst hobby stats wise. Not that I'm expecting perfect methodology for something like this, but this is a pretty fucking glaring issue they even openly admit but somehow don't see the problem with it.

Saying someone collects women like Pokemon cards is just an insult about someone being a player, it doesn't have anything to do with someone's hobbies. It could easily be said as collecting women like any other commonly collected item.

[-] RobotToaster@mander.xyz 45 points 3 days ago

Wasn't that the app that leaked a massive database of women's IDs?

Just checked, it happened twice. https://consumerrights.wiki/w/Tea_Dating_Advice

[-] misk@piefed.social 6 points 3 days ago

I think that leak is probably why this kind of analysis is possible at all.

[-] sensation@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 days ago

Thank you for introducing me to this website.

[-] Cypher@aussie.zone 20 points 3 days ago

The data these women are spilling on men is outrageous, they’re putting up full names, birthdays, photos that often identify addresses and making claims that are straight up defamatory.

It needs to be shut down as the users have no right to be sharing others information in this way.

Before anyone throws around accusations I’m married and I’m not featured on this disgusting app.

[-] LodeMike@lemmy.today 7 points 2 days ago

If men did the same thing to women, people would have a much different reaction.

And I get that sexism makes it completely reasonable for women to act differently and/or defend themselves but that's not what this is.

[-] atro_city@fedia.io 18 points 3 days ago

Imagine this app existing for the opposite sex.

How is this even implemented? How do you keep a certain sex off of the app? Especially trans people, what do they do with them? And non-binary people too.

[-] BillyTheKid2@lemmy.ca 10 points 3 days ago

They require video or id confirmation. It's creepy as hell. Either a "video selfie" or give photo id

[-] Smaile@lemmy.ca 0 points 3 days ago

Well, why shouldn't it really...

Considering this thing exists I don't see why not.

[-] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 19 points 3 days ago

I don't care. Why would you want to be with a woman who isn't accepting of pop culture?

Even grandmas play Pokemon Go GTFO of here.

[-] DosDude@retrofed.com 11 points 3 days ago

Be thankful that the app is filtering out the bad apples in advanced.

[-] FatVegan@leminal.space 0 points 3 days ago

Because it's dumb? Idk.

[-] Assassassin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 3 days ago

You're dumb

[-] BillyTheKid2@lemmy.ca 0 points 3 days ago

So is smoking but as long as they don't blow the smoke it my face it doesn't bother me.

[-] BigTrout75@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago

Slow news day

[-] bamboo 9 points 3 days ago

Clearly the author pulled a Slowpoke card

[-] OwOarchist@pawb.social 6 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

The app is women-only. If you’re a man, you can’t download it, can’t search it, and can’t respond to anything on it.

So ... what's stopping men from setting up a burner device, pretending to be a woman, and using the app?

Hell, for that matter, it would probably be very beneficial to set up some sock-puppet accounts to post glowing 'green flag' reviews of yourself.

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Chuds already did that, furious at the idea that women were talking to each other about men and even doing things they don't approve of.

Edit: awww the Lemmycels are mad ;)

[-] wyldrstallyns@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 3 days ago

I guess, if you're that into the waspish drama-queens that gossip more than breathe, sure. Got a thing for Karens, Jessicas, et al?

[-] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

It would be really nice if this could exist without being petty. I dated a guy who lied to me about having been in jail for nearly two decades for beating his mother to death, and I would love to be able to warn others about him. I have a google alert set up for his name and got a ping a few years ago that he was arrested for violating a restraining order taken out by the woman he dated after me and felt awful that I wasn’t able to warn her.

It’s both predictable and annoying that people are using it to be petty, but the concept is still useful, even if some use it in a way I find shallow. I don’t think it’s wild to imagine that some women would see this report and take it as a green flag. I met up with my husband for the first time after we matched on a dating app to play magic the gathering with him, so I know that some women look for nerds when dating. I previously went on a date with a different guy to play magic (I like seeing how someone plays, wins, and loses, plus it’s a low pressure first date activity that helps ease conversation), and he showed me his Khorne tattoo. He said he just really identified with the character when I asked why he had chosen Khorne, and I absolutely took that as a red flag, not because it’s nerdy, but because I don’t want to date someone who identifies with Khorne.

I would 100% support a twin app for men about women, to be clear, and I don’t know what the solution would be for non cishetero dating, but I wouldn’t be against any of them.

[-] Instigate@aussie.zone 3 points 2 days ago

I’m not sure how to do it in a way that can’t be abused, sadly. My instinct is that maybe domestic violence (DV) crimes should be public knowledge - i.e. offenders, offences and sentences (but not victim information) should be on a publicly searchable database - but I’m not sure what unintended consequences there might be to this. My gut tells me that women reporting DV might experience more backlash from violent partners because reporting the DV puts the offender on a ‘list’, and that maybe it could encourage some abusers to vexatiously make false accusations to try to get someone on the list, but I don’t know how likely either of those would be. There’s not a simple solution, but we need to keep searching for the difficult solution because the status quo leads to way too many women dying at the hands of current or former partners.

[-] boonhet@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 days ago

In my country, an influencer set up such a website. Posts are manually reviewed and will link to the conviction decision. You can post domestic violence and sexual abuse perpetrators who have been committed. The court decisions are actually public data anyway, just a bit annoying to search.

[-] wyldrstallyns@lemmy.dbzer0.com 0 points 2 days ago

Now, to fix the court system so that certain people don't file a DV claim to fuck with someone, knowing full well it'll get thrown out at best, but without any blowback on the perpetrator. 🤢

The system is not made for serving any of us —it was designed to incarcerate our population in record numbers, and with impunity.

ACAB, the whole way up.

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 3 points 3 days ago

Don't take the actions of random bitches on a social media site any more seriously than their existence on any other site

[-] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 0 points 2 days ago

likely only way is using your ID/facial recognition.

[-] mHtt@lemmy.ca 3 points 3 days ago

shit attracts shit nothing new here.

[-] misk@piefed.social 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I don’t know any single guys that collect Pokémon cards. I know two guys that collect Pokémon cards, are married and have children. Maybe women don’t want autistic children because likelihood of that is admittedly increased in this small sample. They’re missing out but you can’t force people to like something they don’t.

[-] Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone 3 points 3 days ago

I'm not sure what you're being down votes for.

I assume people read your post as "people who collect pokemon cards are autistic " but i assumed it was the two people you know who collect cards and are married are both autistic hence mentioning your small sample size

[-] misk@piefed.social 0 points 3 days ago

My original comment was a bit more direct so I updated it to clarify a little and you probably read that version.

[-] mystrawberrymind@piefed.ca 0 points 3 days ago

I’m sure if two people are dating and one says they like pokemon, it’s cool haha whatever. But if the dating profile is all the other person has to go off of, then they can make assumptions like, well he could be too childish or too nerdy, etc. lol

this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2026
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