389

According to an affidavit written by a DPS special agent, Ozment allegedly called the Governor’s Office on the afternoon of July 25. DPS claims Ozment left the following voicemail (KXAN has redacted the profanity in the transcript provided by DPS):

“I don’t know which one of you sons of b—-es passed this motherf—ing bill to get this damn s— blocking my motherf—ing anime, but you whole a– motherf—ers need to unpass this s—. Y’all are f—ing ridiculous with your b—- a–es. My Google account says I’m f—ing over the age of 18, and your dumba– is passing these dumba– laws. I’m a f—ing stab every godd— one of you b—-es. Unlock my f—ing anime.”

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] nullspace@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

An understandable and perhaps even restrained reaction.

[-] jdr@lemmy.ml 164 points 3 days ago

Uncensored, not for the faint of heart;

"I don't know which one of you sons of buttermilk passed this mother-flapjacking bill to get this dang snickerdoodle blocking my mother-flapjacking anime, but you whole entire fudgemuffins need to unpass this snickerdoodle. Y'all are frickle-fracking ridiculous with your buttermilk gravy-boats. My Google account says I'm frickle-fracking over the age of 18, and your dumb-bumpkin is passing these dumb-bumpkin laws. I'm a frickle-fracking stab every gosh-diddly one of you buttermilks. Unlock my frickle-fracking anime.

[-] webadict@lemmy.world 31 points 3 days ago

Please put that in a spoiler! My son read that and now he's sporting a mohawk and calling his mother and I the b word! We don't want him saying that kind of language except on special occasions like when God allows us to eat pancakes (Lent). Now I have to explain cookies to him. Thanks a lot, maybe think of the fucking children next time.

[-] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

I’m a frickle-fracking stab every gosh-diddly one of you buttermilks. Unlock my frickle-fracking anime.

they sent a powet

[-] baronvonj@piefed.social 13 points 3 days ago

needs more 'monkey fighting' and 'Monday to friday'

[-] 5765313496@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

More like for the feint of heart.

[-] daychilde@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago
[-] SirSamuel@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago

~~Goddamn~~ Gosh-diddly this is gold

This right here is exactly why I haven't blocked .ml

Yes the mods over there can be twats, and yes there are militant shitbirds with asinine opinions (let's be honest, every instance has them). And then you get a post like this…

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] RobotToaster@mander.xyz 166 points 3 days ago

Those who would give up essential anime to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither anime nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin, probably.

[-] EarlOfSam@quokk.au 46 points 3 days ago

Ben Franklin's Congressional Hentai Collection is a foundational part of US history

[-] p03locke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 days ago

Ben Franklin of all people, would absolutely be down for that shit.

[-] Napster153@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

Wasn't a MILF enthusiast too?

Definitely based dude.

[-] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

dude was a women-of-all-kinds enthusiast from what I can tell. published a recipe for abortion too. https://www.npr.org/2022/05/18/1099542962/abortion-ben-franklin-roe-wade-supreme-court-leak

[-] Thassodar@sh.itjust.works 26 points 3 days ago

Lincoln's Yuri Archives are still open to the public, and thank God and Sweet Baby Jesus for that.

[-] baltakatei@sopuli.xyz 4 points 2 days ago

Not to be seconded by the Founding Mothers' BL Library.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] cantstopthesignal@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

If you can't watch me at my futanari, you don't deserve me at my ecchi.

[-] rekabis@programming.dev 27 points 2 days ago

Just pirate it.

I mean, the Supreme Court just legalized copying. Millions of rare and one-of-a-kind books are being bodily destroyed just so they can be scanned in, which is pretty much the same thing.

If AI companies can steal content without repercussions, why not you?

[-] motruck@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 day ago

Exactly correct. Training material.

[-] nullspace@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Yes, but also those poor starving artists are gonna have even smaller desks to sleep under as people unplug from anime streaming services.

[-] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

The response for losing ground shouldn't be just adjusting to it...

[-] vane@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Be sure to use unlawful AI that acts on it's own and be surprised by results.

[-] trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world 93 points 3 days ago

"Man thinks threatening politicians is more effective than using a vpn"

[-] CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 71 points 3 days ago

Because using a VPN removes the burden of actually telling your representatives that they passed a shitty bill.

[-] trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

They know what they did and do not care

[-] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 days ago

They'll care if they get stabbed!

[-] esc@piefed.social 32 points 3 days ago

Yeah, you need to first damage them, then threat of additional damage to them and their immediate families will work.

load more comments (7 replies)
[-] celeste@kbin.earth 70 points 3 days ago

Goddamn, the bleeps make that annoying to read. My best guess:

“I don’t know which one of you sons of bitches passed this motherfucking bill to get this damn shit blocking my motherfucking anime, but you whole ass motherfuckers need to unpass this shit. Y’all are fucking ridiculous with your bitch-asses. My Google account says I’m fucking over the age of 18, and your dumbass is passing these dumbass laws. I’m a fucking stab every goddamn one of you bitches. Unlock my fucking anime.”

Not sure that the first "s--"= shit, but, whatever.

[-] celeste@kbin.earth 35 points 3 days ago

Alternate translation:

I’m a fucking stab every goddamn one of you bakas.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] cerebralhawks@lemmy.dbzer0.com 54 points 3 days ago

To those who didn't read TFA: he wasn't talking about anime like Boku no Hero Academia or Dragon Ball Z. He was talking about hentai.

The article confirms that Crunchyroll and a couple other anime streamers are available in Texas.

The guy was trying to access PornHub (or a site like it) to watch hentai, and that site simply blocks all Texans (and people from other countries and US states that have similar laws).

As for those asking if it's illegal: the US constitution does enshrine the freedom of speech, or rather, your government's inability to pass laws restricting said freedom. However, there are still exceptions. You still can't make threats to officials, or other things that can harm others.

[-] UselessAsshole@lemmy.world 22 points 3 days ago

Texas allows you to open carry a sword.

It's not about protecting people from harm, but sin.

[-] ParlimentOfDoom@piefed.zip 10 points 2 days ago

It's not about protecting anyone, it's about surveillance and an ability to blackmail/threaten anyone who steps out of line.

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Visstix@lemmy.world 66 points 3 days ago

He was swearing so much it almost turned into morsecode.

[-] cupcakezealot@piefed.blahaj.zone 37 points 3 days ago

he did nothing wrong but i guarantee you that guy voted for texas republicans the last 20 years.

[-] SippyCup@lemmy.world 29 points 3 days ago

Well first of all, he's 35. So 20 years is impossible.

Second of all, he threatened to stab them.

Finally he's from Houston, which is historically blue.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago

we need a copy of the actual recording

[-] Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 31 points 3 days ago

FUCK.

This shit is so hard to read when it's text-bleeped.

load more comments (4 replies)
[-] ICastFist@programming.dev 7 points 2 days ago

Here I am, wondering which anime it was. Probably Taimanin Asagi

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 21 points 3 days ago

“Oi, Governer-san, nandayo? Anta baka??”

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] sundray@lemmus.org 13 points 2 days ago

What's his Lemmy instance?

[-] albbi@piefed.ca 17 points 3 days ago

That censoring of his voicemail transcript in text is art.

[-] Cherry@piefed.social 26 points 3 days ago

Did he break an actual law?

[-] don_kiedyck@lemmy.world 42 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

The second sentence from the last sounds like terroristic threats.

Disclaimer: I’m not a lawyer.

Edit: typo

[-] Cherry@piefed.social 27 points 3 days ago

Ah yes. I missed the word stab. I was focusing on the swear words. Still think terrorism is a stretch though

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] sompreno@lemmy.zip 19 points 3 days ago

Somewhat valid, I hate having to switch between 8 different vpn tunnels to access a reddit thread

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2026
389 points (100.0% liked)

Not The Onion

22177 readers
579 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS