On the bright side, you can masturbate around them and no one will know! By smell at least.
Unless the tree narcs on you.
God damn talking trees, snitching bastards all of em
Those ~~sheep~~ trees are liars!
Damn, I wish I'd read your second sentence.
Yeah my college campus had an area with Bradford pear trees and that definitely created more than one awkward conversation.
Wait, a what?
Like a conversation about why everything smells like cum amongst a bunch of 18 to 23 year olds.
Ginkgo trees don't have flowers. They are gymnosperms like pines, firs, spruces, cedars etc. They produce cones.
Their "fruit" smell like ass though. Not even fruit, just a fleshy pine cone of sorts.
They smell like vomit.
Not even fruit, just a fleshy pine cone of sorts.
Some places they eat the fruit, like Japan and China
Yeah they actually are not to bad tastewise. Just be sure to use gloves when handling the raw fruits with the stinky flesh around it.
I heard various things about their health benefits. But people seem to agree to only consune small amounts.
uh, why? 🍐ԅ( ͒ ͒ )
Isn't all pollen basically tree cum?
No, it's genetically the offspring of the plant, and contains at least one non-reproductive cell. Pollen produces the male gametes, so the seeds created from it produce the 3rd generation of plant, genetically speaking. (1st gen is pollen producer, 2nd gen is pollen, 3rd gen is seed.) It's basically an ultra-minimal gametophyte stage.
So it's tree...pre...cum? Wait, no, the tree is throwing his balls into the air, but he also grows more balls..?
Why did I even start typing today?
Well, the pollen does grow an enormous (relatively) schlong to deliver its sperm into the stamen...
Trees are just inverted root systems
I thought this for the longest time until I fell down a rabbit hole a while back. Pollen is literally the tree's offspring in the form of microscopic plants. When the flowers of a tree are fertilized, the pollen literally grow into the actual reproductive parts of the plant to begin the fertilization process.
Reproductive organs smelling like reproductive organs isn't that weird, now that I think about it, reproductive organs smelling like flowers are weird...
You're a wizard, Harry
Cumtrees also have a right to exist
I absolutely hate Bradford pears but people in the south LOVE planting them. Damn fools, I say!
I have friends that apparently can't even smell them
Smh outed themselves as gooners who can't even tell anymore
I tried getting them with this by asking if they could smell them and all I got was "it's 50/50 because of my allergies"
The people who owned our house before us planted one in our front yard. We didn't realize what it was until a couple years after we had lived here and it started sprouting its flowers. Even then it took us a while to realize where that smell is coming from. Now the thing is fucking huge and taking it down would be incredibly difficult and expensive because of where it's planted. So 3 weeks out of the year we just don't go outside and keep our windows closed... 😑
P.S. we do not live in the south. I don't even understand why this thing is here.
The only good news about it being massive is that if the wind blows a little too hard it'll crack in half!
Image of a large Bradford pear tree that has a large limb broken from the trunk
Bradford Pear tree next
figs have entered the chat
Please don't tell me figs smell like cum as well! My wife just got a fig tree for our patio
You might be fine with a small potted plant, but yeah they stink.
Hm? Can't confirm. My parents have a huge one, doesn't smell.
Gross
Fig didn't smell like cum, not that I can tell what cum smells like, given that I have been covered in it so much, I can't smell it at all.
No but you're eating a dead wasp every time you eat a fig! The More You Know™
Pretty flowers they remind me of my dearly departed Harold.
We have this other tree that’s grown around here a lot. It has the most beautiful explosion of purple flowers every spring. Then it just smells like cum all day lol
Jacarandandfindout!
Oh?
Yeah there was a tree that was flowering for like 3 weeks in june and it made ma want to puke it smelled so bad. Still have no clue what tree it was and it was luckily only where I worked and not where I live. So I did not have to smell it constantly.
A place for majestic STEMLORD peacocking, as well as memes about the realities of working in a lab.
Rules
