Same. I used to get made fun of for my music taste, sometimes just based on the band name or album art. Developed a habit of hiding my interests from my parents and feeling ashamed when they found anything non-mainstream of mine.

I don't think they're complaining

I told my dad I was going to play board games with friends and he spelled out B-O-R-E-D and went on a rant about how much he hates board games and that they're for losers. We haven't spoken in about five years.

Sounds like you come from a line of good dads

I don't know your kid or your relationship with them or anything, so I'm just speaking in generalities, but most trans people I know really appreciate being called by their preferred name and pronouns. If your kid is using certain pronouns with new people or with their friends that they are out to, it might be nice to give them a try. Maybe not, again I don't know you both, but just because someone is willing to joke about pronouns doesn't necessarily mean they don't actually care about them. Seems like you really care for your kid and I'm sure that if they wanted to be referred to with new pronouns that you'd be able to figure it out. Wishing you both the best.

Yeah man you should really be using the pronouns your child wants you to use. I imagine that they have accepted that this is the best relationship they can have with you. They're still your child and your unwavering support is important to building their self confidence regardless of whether they're cisgender or transgender.

How much effort does it take to not use he/him though? Are you sure they're just saying they don't care so you don't feel bad about it?

I dunno, obviously I don't know you or your kid and you seem to be handling it much better than many would... It just seems weird to be so ambivalent to something so fundamental about your child.

From someone that's been there, try to work on that mental switch. Even if the kid sees you as an exception, and really doesn't care if you don't, it's still a powerful thing to do it anyway. You can still crack jokes together and fuck around, but if you put in the effort to shift your language the rest of the time, it seriously uplifts someone that's in the process of finding their path as their authentic self.

And yeah, it is true that a decent number of kids in particular (as opposed to folks that are transitioning as adults) don't care about pronouns when their loved ones support them in every other way (or even just in most ways). They know some old fart has decades of brain patterns built up, and years of thinking of them as a given gender. They know it won't happen overnight, and thus aren't hurt by slips, or are hurt way less. But I've never met a trans kid that didn't feel happy and loved by a close family member putting in the effort anyway.

I promise you, the worst that can happen from trying is you get razzed for fucking up

How can you be sure they don't care? Could it be, instead, that they know it'll just be a pain in the ass to get you to do what they want, so they don't bother even if it'd make them happier? They're appeasing you so they can still have a relationship with you. You are refusing to appease them. Your child sounds more mature than you do.

…I'll be honest.

You're saying you'll defend whatever she decides to be, but I don't think you accept it yourself; that's why you're still treating your daughter as if she was a boy. It's perfectly possible this actually hurts her, but she doesn't complain because it's complicated to do so with your parents before adulthood, like it or not you're still a figure of authority.

EDIT: to be clear. I'm saying it's preferable to treat a trans child by the gender they identify themself with, than by the gender assigned to them by birth. Doubly so if you're in a position of power over them, like a parent is.

You claim apathy, but you put more effort defending yourself then just being better toward you child.

I wont claim to know if it bothers your child to 'joke' about it. But have you ever asked?

Of course not. No one can afford ram.

I just caught up after nearly a decade and this season is like: AAAAAAAAAH

I'm pretty sure that's just someone's fanfic character. I've never seen them before.

As opposed to the sailor moonies, which is what you get when the unification church decides to go full L Ron Hubbard