Me_irl

I'm the same. Don't really care for small talk

I sometimes forget and then randomly ask how a person is doing to not seem like an asshole. I usually don't care for small talk, but want to make sure people know that I care.

I speak the truth of how the Roman Dodecahedron is really a pedagogical object to teach the true nature of the topological matrix that manifests the monadic nodal communication system we are, but most people run away when they see the bloody knife in my hand, so I never get to ask them to dinner or a round of pickle ball at the Farfankerie.

I don't have a problem with it, but the normies sure do seem like they do.

not autistic, but yeah thats me

The solid three minutes after someone asks me how I'm doing before I remember to ask it back, just about every time 😬

"I am functioning within normal parameters."

I rarely use people's names.

not autistic as far as i know but i relate to this a lot

I'm quite sociable but also very quiet. I'm thinking being polite of not disturbing or interrupting people. However, at some point I start to wonder why nobody is talking to me. Well, duh, I should ask or talk to people, but this never crosses my mind or just flys past me.

Notice my daily post is "Hey What's Going On!" And not "How are you?"

Same. It’s hard to remember because I assume people ask me because they care about the answer instead of it just being a social ritual. For the same reason I don’t ask it back because I genuinely don’t care.

Someone said that those Floskeln are there to feel out if you are dangerous.

As soon as I thought of all that stuff more like signals that you won't attack and your intentions aren't malicious, it made more sense.

This meme is literally describing a feature of autism then asking “DAE?”

I'm starting to do it more recently, and almost always it feels awkward because I'm mostly doing it because it what I should do, for the reason of... it is what is done.

I think it's especially important to ask them back if they didn't actually mean it in the first place.

Normies are weird, you just have to learn some arbitrary rules to coexist with them. It might feel fake, but it's genuine to them.

People aren't waiting for the answer so I doubt they even notice that you didn't ask

I nod and wave; usually I'm deep in thought. If I'm walking the halls or navigating cubicle mazes, I'm often doing my work in my head so that when I get back to my cubicle, I can do my work on autopilot while I focus on other things. So when I'm not focusing on normie coworkers, I just nod, wave, smile, something that shows I'm paying attention. If I do focus on them, I use their name if I know it and fake interaction.

I'm not the only one thrown off by this; I'm not sure if these people are autistic, ADHD, or just unfriendly people, but it helps to know I'm not the only one who isn't an expert at navigating office social circles. But if you need someone to fix your printer or monitor or something, I'm the guy (I'm not IT, I just know a lot and the one IT guy we have stays pretty busy, so I field the simpler calls).

Part of my mask is almost always asking people how they are feeling for the day when I first start my interaction with them. I used to avoid that kind of small talk, but it actually super helps me make adjustments to my conversations with them and gives me context to why they might speak to me a certain way. When I'm in a burn out phase, I tend to avoid it though because I don't really have the mental energy to process their responses and want to disconnect as quickly as possible.

You don't have to reply back with the person's name, unless it's unclear who you're addressing, which should be abundantly clear in an interaction like:

"Hey Devin!" "Hey, what's up."

Adding the "what's up" is important though, or something to the same effect ("how are you", ...), because it helps support the conversation and keep it flowing.

Just mirroring the "Hey" can feel terse and unwelcoming, like you're not interested in talking because you're not providing the other person a "conversational path" they can follow up on.

As the conversation continues, usually both parts will be providing "paths" that the other can choose to take, according to their interests.

These days I'm old and wise. I'll remember asking about the other person right after the conversation ended, not a week after.

These social customs are derived from genuine interactions with friends. I'm curious how you deal with talking to people you care about? When I ask my friends how they are doing I'm actually curious about their lives, and I expect them to also be curious about mine. This type of reciprocation is necessary for a friendship in my opinion.

People usually only explicitly state each other's names when they either need to differentiate to whom they are talking when more than one person could be the subject, or to create lazy exposition in a TV show.

Also they don't actually care how you are and won't expect anything except that you're fine, it's just a social ceremony.

Wait what!?!!?

Though yeah, i kinda totally forget that I'm supposed to randomly ask about small things as well from other people, not just exchange of information.
Kinda like forgetting to show interest in the other person, well technically there is a grain of truth there as i generally do lack that interest and doing it manually is prone to forgetting it.

Though it's kinda understandable, autism does effect the social and emotional side of me the strongest.

Yes, but I try to remind myself that it’s the correct thing to do even if I’ll get non answers like ”just fine” 95% of the time (even if they’re not ”just fine”)

What IS up though?

This isn’t an autism thing, this is a terrible-with-people thing. People won’t think you’re rude, just awkward.